Mar 25

Stal-KingClick for larger image

Bellatrix Comments: Makes you want to yell out loud: BEHIND YOU!

You might remember this from here.

Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.00 out of 10)

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20 Responses to “Star King”

  1. fred Says:

    Swords 101. Don’t swing a stabby sword when you are in perfect position to stick it where the sun don’t shine.

  2. THX 1139 Says:

    “Mission Control! They have the first Black Sabbath album here!”

  3. Francis Boyle Says:

    Is lumpy-dough barbarian man wearing a battle helmet under his bubble helmet? Is it helmets all the way down? How does that two-handed grip work? Why is he wearing a nappy? Why is everything poo-coloured? Questions for the ages, folks.

  4. Ray P Says:

    Star king … star kers. It makes sense.

  5. Tat Wood Says:

    @Francis Boyle: It’s not a two-handed grip. We can’t see his left arm, because it’s behind him, but what looks like it is in fact the shadow his right arm casts on the painted backcloth.

    He needs to be were the astronaut is to be able to swing his blade. That he brought a sword to a gunfight is another problem for another cover.

  6. daard23 Says:

    My opinion of this cover? The rock formation in the lower left sums it up quite nicely.

  7. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Ro-Man did not appreciate Ted shaving him bald as a prank.

  8. JuanPaul Says:

    He’s like an old man with a Speedo and an unhealthy tan that you see at the beach every now and then. “Stay out of my swimming lane! Raaaarr.”

  9. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Raaarrr!! I’ll teach you youngsters to keep your social distance!!”

  10. GSS ex-noob Says:

    WHY is Mr. Tighty Whitey wearing a bubble helmet, when there’s nothing to secure it to and the rest of him’s exposed to the extremely brown elements? Conversely, why is the spaceman in a full suit if the other guy can go starkers?

    The sword looks as if it could tear through the spacesuit, though that mighty baseball-style swing is going to take a while to complete, and spaceman’s noticed. Naked guy may be about to learn the old adage about bringing a sword to a gunfight the hard way.

    And feet remain hard to draw. Chap on left has no toes!

    @Francis: I can’t tell if he’s got an armored helm on, or if the artist just gave up on the face. Either way, poor detail. Too busy painting the wrinkles on the spacesuit (?), an improbably close planet, and poo scenery.

    @Tat: Your mention of a painted backdrop explains it all! This isn’t a struggle to the death, it’s amateur dramatics, or some sort of cosplay. We had a ton of free paint in the color of the lower part of the “sky” in high school drama once and rather too much of our set ended up that color — all the furniture IIRC.

    This might be at some extremely underfunded con, which would explain the “planet” and “ground”. Guy on the left had a big sword he wanted to show off, but nothing else, so he stripped to his undies. Guy on the right had a spacesuit with all the “items sold separately”, plus an extra helmet. They teamed up to present… whatever this is… and the judges were given an easy decision as to who was NOT going to get the prizes donated by the dealers. Date checks out, too.

    @Bruce: GSS!!

  11. GSS ex-noob Says:

    (Ah, ruined it all by looking at Wiki. The baddie is an alien imitating human form, which explains the bad detailing. However, the planet is supposed to be “fantastically beautiful”, so no points there.)

  12. Verylatetotheparty Says:

    It’s only responsible to point out that he should really be standing further back and using a sword at least two metres long. On a lighter note, does that spacesuit have thigh boots?

  13. THX 1139 Says:

    @VLttP: Why, do you fancy one?

  14. Verylatetotheparty Says:

    @THX 1139: Sadly, I can’t go out clothes shopping. Also I’ve tried, but I can’t stop myself saying this any longer – Second Black Sabbath album, second!

    It would all fit in with the painted backdrop and an Am Dram production, (full title: ‘Star Kings and Drag Queens’). The spacesuit has Velcro fastenings so it can be quickly removed in time (well, almost) with the sword blow, leaving the boots, helmet and a matching corset and panties, then the fight stops and turns into a song-and-dance number.

  15. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Vlttp: As it appears that the only other person in miles — perhaps on the whole planet — is inside a containment suit, I don’t think the 2 meters is a factor. However, he’ll need to jump back smartly once he’s breached it with the sword. No telling what’s in there.

    I’ve just looked up the covers of Black Sabbath albums, and you’re completely correct! And this cover came after that (And their bassist read a lot of GSS regular Dennis Wheatley).

    Also, I’ve been to a burlesque show that almost exactly matches your speculation. This scene doesn’t have nearly enough glitter and high heels for that scenario, though.

  16. Verylatetotheparty Says:

    @GSSxn: I’m now imagining a small explosion of glitter on removal of the space suit, and plenty of sequins underneath.

  17. THX 1139 Says:

    @VLttP (14): Duly noted. If you can’t be a pedant on GSS, then the world truly is doomed.

  18. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Vlttp: There would definitely be many dollar bills thrown at the stage.

    Sword chap’s budgie smuggler would also be bedazzled, because he can’t strip any more off without falling afoul of the law.

    I may actually have to suggest this idea to some of the performers, when we’re allowed to assemble in public again.

  19. Verylatetotheparty Says:

    @THX 1139: It’s worth mentioning (well, maybe) that the first Black Sabbath album is ‘Black Sabbath’ by Black Sabbath, which opens with the track ‘Black Sabbath’, – that’s a very respectable level of first-albumishness.

  20. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Vlttp: They did record it in one day. No time to think up fancy titles. None more first, as it were.

    Aforementioned burlesque troupe is streaming past highlights on the night of Friday the 3rd, since there are no public gatherings allowed.

    Might be an act from the “Space Station ’77” show, who knows.

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