Nov 25

Can't a girl take a nap?Click for larger image

Ryan Comments: Chuck Norris absolutely adored taking his winged horse to the Ren Fair.

Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.47 out of 10)

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17 Responses to “In the Net of Dreams”

  1. Francis Boyle Says:

    And you thought pigeon-poop was a problem.

  2. fred Says:

    I hope the book tells us how the goblin lost a finger.

  3. Tat Wood Says:

    I love the way the blurb-elf hands us the faux-folksie rubric ainted on glass in white lettering. There’s probably a gnome who does gothic-script for Anne McCaffrey pull-quotes.

  4. JuanPaul Says:

    Chuck Norris says, “Thy ren faire sucketh. I shall take my flying steed to Texas and start my own. Huzzah, mutha f**kas”

  5. THX 1139 Says:

    This is what happens when you can’t get over the fact Bruce Lee yanked out your chest hair.

  6. Tor Mented Says:

    It’s interesting how they made the “Questar fantasy” logo small and sideways. As if they were contractually obligated to put in on the cover, but hoped few people would notice.

  7. B. Chiclitz Says:

    That horse has way too much attitude.

  8. Max Bathroom Says:

    @B. Chiclitz
    Maybe it thinks that if throws off Norris on a book cover it will become a meme?

  9. Bibliomancer Says:

    Worst. Orgy. Ever.

  10. Bruce A Munro Says:

    “Snow White and the Seven NPCs?”

  11. Bruce A Munro Says:

    What does “Wm.” stand for? “Written Mostly by?” “Writer Maniac?”

    @Francis Boyle: yeah, horses tend to just let it drop anywhere, don’t they?

  12. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I see we have a “winged horse” tag, but I’d like to ask for “Pegasus!” to go with “Unicorns!” et al.

    The girth on that saddle looks like it’s going to interfere with horsies’ wings.

    The lettering is so odd, with that tiny “in” atop. Maybe it was supposed to say “Wm. MARK SIMMONS in THE NET OF DREAMS” and that’s Wm. doing his best Chuck impression?

    And as always asked here — why “Wm.”? And why not “WM.” on this one?

    Sleeping Beauty’s awake, there are at most 5 dwarves, and Chuck’s the GoH at the Texas RenFaire. I fear this is in fact an accurate illustration of the contents.

    @Francis: GSS.

    @Tat: well-spotted. I couldn’t even read the blurb with it just floating in air, so I guess the scroll-making gnome had the day off.

    In conclusion — Wm. ?

  13. GSS ex-noob Says:


    I have looked upon Mr. Simmons’ website, wherein I learned:

    – he’s republished this series with generic fantasy covers

    – he’s using his full name on the covers now

    – like most of us, he can’t be bothered to blog

  14. Ryan Says:

    Alternate title from my daughter as we looked at this cover in the bookstore: “Snow White and the Seven Dorks”.

  15. Tracy Says:

    This one isn’t so bad but there are only five dwarves. For shame!

  16. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Ryan: you are raising that child right. GSS!

    @Tracy: Five dwarves (one BEHIND YOU) and a goblin. Maybe they were worried about Disney lawyers.

  17. A. R. Yngve Says:

    My son has been nagging me about that new Zelda game since November…

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