Mar 21

Lie down with pigs. Wake up with bacon!Click for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: Let’s have a Ryan Week II. He’s apparently been scouring the cowboy paperback shoppes of Arizona to bring us this terrible cover Bonanza! Enjoy.

Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.36 out of 10)

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26 Responses to “The Pig Plantagenet”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    That’ll do, pig. No, seriously, that really will do.

  2. A. R. Yngve Says:

    If you enjoyed THE PIG PLANTAGENET, you may also like:


  3. A. R. Yngve Says:

    To his dismay, David Cameron learned that the fraternity ritual was in no way like he had imagined from fantasy books…

  4. fred Says:

    Takes place in 13th century France, so Henry III/Edward I. The illustrated version has more pig action.

  5. Francis Boyle Says:

    Based on her valley-girl roll-eyes expression she’s just so over wisecracking talking animals which I have to assume is what this book is about.

  6. THX 1139 Says:

    OK, I give up – what kind of animal is Anna Kendrick holding in the crook of her elbow?

  7. DaveM Says:

    “Mr Porky? I think I’m going to start cutting back on the ‘shrooms a bit.”

  8. Rick Deckard Says:

    What does the fox say?

  9. Bibliomancer Says:

    I am titling this portrait “I Got You, Babe”

  10. Tor Mented Says:

    @Biblio: GSS.

  11. Tor Mented Says:

    ♪ I’ve got flowers
    In the spring.
    I’ve got you
    To wear a nose ring.
    And when I’m sad, you’re a clown
    And when I’m hungry, you sell by the pound. ♪

  12. Tor Mented Says:

    Geez, sorry. I think my comments broke the site.

  13. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Providing the shelf is large enough, I could sit on it beside the books listed in the blurb, but that doesn’t make *me* a classic animal fantasy novel, does it?

    The damsel is, appropriately for France, overcome with ennui.

    @THX: I’ve stared at it too, and all I can come up with is some kind of fungus, perhaps? The shrooms @DaveM mentioned?

    @ARY, B’man, Tor: GSS!

  14. JuanPaul Says:

    “Someday a handsome prince will come and clean up all the pig shit”

  15. Hammy Says:


    I was wondering about that blurb, too. I wondered if the next sentence was “This book is a rectangular solid, like most other books, so it will sit nicely on a shelf next to other books – provided you support them with a well-weighted pair of bookends.”

  16. B. Chiclitz Says:

    “Yeah, my tail’s shaped like a corkscrew. Wanna see something else I got that’s shaped like that?”

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Hammy: “or using an enclosed bookcase. Up to you how you store your rectangular papery solids, really.”

    Our late cat had a space in a bookcase where the shelves were just far enough apart that she fit cozily. She shelved herself there so regularly that Mr. xn taped the Dewey Decimal number for “animals, domestic, cats” on it (636.8).

  18. Tracy Says:

    I’m getting Hannibal-esque flesh-eating hog vibes from that cover.

  19. Tor Mented Says:

    It just hit me. The thing that Anna Kendrick has under her arm is actually that New Zealand potato that turned out to be a tuber.

  20. Tat Wood Says:

    Reynard’s looking at Porky and shouting ‘Hey, get out of my fable. And give me back my daisy-chain. It took me months to make that, what with having to use my teeth and everything.’

  21. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tor: Maybe it’s a truffle-hunting pig, then!

  22. THX 1139 Says:

    @Tor: It wasn’t a tuber they found in New Zealand, it was a gourd. I don’t know the difference either, other than it means it’s not a potato. I say make it an honorary potato and be done with it.

  23. Tor Mented Says:

    @THX: We’re both right, according to The Associated Press:
    WELLINGTON, New Zealand (AP) — When is a potato not a potato?
    When it’s a tuber of a gourd, according to Guiness World Records.
    (“The Tuber of the Gourd” sounds like the second novel in The Chronicles of Rhizome.)

  24. THX 1139 Says:

    @Tor: Sounds like an honorary potato to me – result!

  25. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tor: “The Tuber of the Gourd” is also an English folk song, I’m sure.

    What IS a tuber of a gourd? I didn’t know they had tubers. And why just “gourd” instead of narrowing it down?

    The final finding raises more questions than it answers.

    A quick look around says the buffalo gourd can have a tuber/tap root up to 72 kg!

  26. Emster Says:

    Snow White walks into the wrong book cover by mistake and finds herself in the company of a snarky fox, a satanic piglet, a sullen bunny and a butterfly that can belch its own name. Realizes she was better off with her seven messy but more polite housemates.

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