Apr 05

Katzenjammer BooksClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: The fonts! They burn!

Thanks to Ryan for sending this in!

Published 1992

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.55 out of 10)

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21 Responses to “The Maelstrom’s Eye”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    From Roger E. Moore, this should really be called The Maelstrom’s Eyebrow.

  2. fred Says:

    Putin unleashes the iron dirigable submarines. I quite like the sparky ting. Perspective problem with the conning tower.

  3. THX 1139 Says:

    Is a Cloakmaster such a proud boast? Is there a Cagoule Master? A Cardigan Master?

  4. Tor Mented Says:

    @fred: I don’t know if it’s perspective problems or a TARDIS.

  5. JuanPaul Says:

    One hand for your sword one for for the sub!

  6. NomadUK Says:

    Kirk Douglas successfully convinces Stanley Kubrick and Walt Disney to merge their two film projects into the soon-to-be-classic MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Slaves Under the Sea.*

    It will require a reshoot of, amongst other scenes, Douglas singing this song, wearing his gladiator togs.

    * Yes, should be XX with bars above, but I can’t be arsed to figure out the HTML to do it.

  7. Tat Wood Says:

    Sony get their hands on the rights to Fortycoats.*

    Is a spelljammer when predictive text is stuck on ‘English (US)’ rather than the real thing?


  8. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Quite impressive how Rainbow Lady can impale that beast and, despite her daring decolletage, not suffer a nip slip.

  9. Bruce A Munro Says:

    OK, so a gypsy and a ren fair reject fighting S&M Orcs atop Captain Nemo’s submarine…or is it an improbably armored dirigible? Kind of a “let’s throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks” cover.

    I guess the dude is the Cloakmaster, since he seems to have a universe in his cape, er, cloak. [1] I wonder if that leads to trouble if he sits down incautiously. (OTOH, it makes cleanup a snap, whether after yardwork or a battle: just toss your waste into outer space!)

    [1] Is that a galaxy in your pants, or are you just glad to see me?

  10. Emster Says:

    Oh hey, there are 6 books in this series, each cover crazier than the previous. Put yer thrifting hats on and meet me back here in a coupla months?

  11. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Is the book as much of a mess as this cover?

    So there’s a submarine-ish thing atop which a guy — possibly Kirk Douglas, per @Nomad’s excellent suggestion — clad in Ye Olde Ren Faire costume made of Ye Olde Spandex, and a woman in a late 19th/early 20th century theatrical “gypsy” costume suitable for being a can-can girl…

    (deep breath)

    are both fighting orc-things who have battle axes and stupidly pointy armor.

    Do I have that right?

    There seems to be a comfy chair in the conning tower, I guess it’s Kirk’s but maybe the girl gets to use it once in a while.

    As regards the title, are they in the eye of the maelstrom, or is the bright light the eye?

    @Bruce: Don’t know if that’s a galaxy, or if his cape is reversible and has blue on one side, sequins on black on the other.

    @Emster: Good find. While the covers are uniformly eye-gouging, changing the layout and colors partway through seems an odd choice for Generic Extruded Fantasy Product.

    @Tat: Nah, it’s like a phone jammer. No one can use spells around him, it’s all pointy things and cloak mastery.

    Although since the wind seems to be coming from 3 different directions, maybe the cloak IS the master and has a mind of its own (like Dr. Strange’s) and Kirk and the girl are just its henchpersons.

  12. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @GSS ex-noob: in Sorcerous Union, cloak wear you!

  13. JJYoyo Says:

    It could be worse: if this were the cover of the typical Baen edition Harry Turtledove book, the vessel would be a nuclear-powered USS Monitor, Kirk Douglas would be Abe Lincoln in Kevlar body armour and the orcs would have jet packs.

  14. Francis Boyle Says:

    TBH, orcs in jet packs would be a definite improvement.

  15. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @JJYoyo: the damsel, however, would still be scantily clad. Also there would be so many guns.

  16. Emster Says:

    Emperor Davros called, he expects that Dalek to quit partying on the main deck and get back to taking over the universe.

  17. JJYoyo Says:

    @GSSxN: looking at the show girl made me rethink the whole scene, somehow. It might not be 20k leagues under the sea. It might be an episode of The Wild Wild West – Night of the Juggernaut… only Artemus Gordon has really outdone himself on his disguise this time. Maybe it’s been Artemis Gordon all this time, and the show was even less wholesome than we thought.

  18. Tracy Says:

    That green room in the tower looks like an absurdly small tiled bathroom with an elaborate toilet and lamp for reading while doing one’s business.

  19. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @JJYoyo: I don’t think Artie had gams like that; even the master of disguise he was couldn’t pull that off. Could easily be Jim in the cloak, though, and it does look steampunky. Maybe Jim and the girl of the week are fighting the orcs — which are really guys in costume; the sub probably is Dr. Loveless’. Perhaps Artie’s below and left the conning tower door open.

    (BTW, have a couple friends who worked with Ross Martin once. Just as nice, charming, and awesome as you’d hope.)

    @Tracy: So, a deluxe portapotty? If the sub does belong to Loveless, he’d fit in it better. I think we have it figured out!

  20. JJYoyo Says:

    @GSSxN: I am really happy to hear that Ross Martin was a class act IRL. You’ve made my day.

  21. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @JJYoyo: Funny and thoughtful. It was a stage play, and he learned the names of everyone in the cast, crew, and even the ushers and thanked them all individually. My friend still gets dreamy-eyed.

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