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Apr 27

Stairway to WhateverClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: It’s Baen. I suppose the gorilla monster is the hero.

Thanks to Ryan for sending this in!

Published 1988

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.00 out of 10)
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18 Responses to “Stairway to Forever”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    This is what happens when you don’t know “The Piano’s On My Foot”.

  2. Bruce A Munro Says:

    It’s a video game, and the giant baboon is the boss of landing number 17.

  3. Francis Boyle Says:

    I think I played that. Dragoons vs Baboons wasn’t it?

  4. fred Says:

    The calf armor seems a bit useless in fighting a wereape.

  5. Tat Wood Says:

    The Wonder Stuff were spot-on: I used to get like the cover-star of this book when it happened. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOxtDTyc3Qw

    (@THX: Shhhhh! The seppos don’t know that this is what I think about when they discuss ‘The Tea Party’.)

  6. Ryan Says:

    Does the violent wereape also sport a tail? Seems like overkill.

  7. Tor Mented Says:

    Baboons are Old World Monkeys, so a wereboon would have a tail. Just be glad it’s facing this way so we don’t so it’s were-ischial callosities.

  8. Tor Mented Says:

    As for the artwork, it really looks like the artist copied the poses from several Frazetta covers. Bodies are piling up just like they tend to do around Conan, though he’d have a lot more of them.
    I guess this make him Conab the Baboonian.

  9. GSS ex-noob Says:

    How is this rated so low?

    Once I saw the title, I didn’t even need the rest of it to load up before knowing the publisher.

    There’s a notable lack of stairways (and/or forever) here.

    With the shading, it’s impossible to tell if the critter’s appendage is a tail, or, erm… I’m just saying, by definition apes don’t have tails.

    So, due to the facial appearance, I think we’re agreed this is a Giant Were-Baboon. Because if that’s a monkey, well. Even more horrifying than the thought of Giant Baboon Butt Colors.

    @Bruce: So the author/artist thought “Hey! These Kids Today love the Donkey Kong, let’s have a book ‘inspired’ by it!”

    @Ryan: you truly found some gems.

  10. Emster Says:

    With apologies to Led Zeppelin, sort of…

    It’s a Baen book for sure, tho it’s blue not orange bold
    With the tile of “Stairway to Forever”
    Those guys in warrior clothes are all in their death throes
    Angry baboon, yet minimal gore?

    Big baboo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oon
    on a book called “Stairway to Forever”

    Ryan answered the call, knew the cover’d cause a stir
    Puns and sarcastic response he was scheming
    What you see on this book, some questionable things
    But most of all, there’s that oversized gibbon

    Oh yeah yeah yeah
    Mutant ape on the cover…

  11. Hammy Says:

    @Emster (prev.):

    Hammy points to sign on wall that reads “No Stairway”.

    Emster: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RD1KqbDdmuE

  12. Emster Says:

    @Hammy:

    Emster looking perplexed at imaginary audience in living room, “No Stairway – denied!”

    Party on, Hammy!

  13. B. Chiclitz Says:

    The way that Were-Boon is yelling, it’s pretty clear he also came from “The Hoarseclans.”

  14. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Emster: holds up lighter

    (Either that, or the DJ needs to make a run to the gents’ or have a smoke break; that’s what they put on.)

  15. THX 1139 Says:

    I can’t help thinking The Butthole Surfers’ album Hairway to Steven would be an appropriate accompaniment.

  16. GSS ex-noob Says:

    still singing along with @Emster

    Ooooo, and it makes you wonnnnder…

    record scratch noise

    @THX: Startlingly perfect. Is the were-boon called Steve, then?

  17. A. R. Yngve Says:

    The cover artist Ken Kelly, whose motto must be “Anatomy is for losers! I’ll draw limbs any way I want, nyah nyah!”

  18. GSS ex-noob Says:

    The fingers of the men are very odd. Ken’s rebellion against normal appendages extends to them.

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