Nov 22

I prefer the Extra-Crispy Magicker

Good Show Sir comments: “I smite mine enemy with a handful of fairy dust!”

Thanks to Ryan for sending this in!

Published 1979

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.40 out of 10)

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17 Responses to “Crispan Magicker”

  1. fred Says:

    I wouldn’t want to go through life being called Crispy.

  2. Francis Boyle Says:

    Mark Hamill is the Magick Messiah. (The other Guys are just Lego men. I’m not even sure they have souls.)

  3. Tor Mented Says:

    From this day to the ending of the world,
    But we in it shall be rememberèd—
    We few, we happy few, we bland of bothers

  4. Griz Says:

    You just know the working title was “Crispian Magician” and the editor thought that was too on the nose.

  5. Tat Wood Says:

    Tired of pans that clog up wth fat?

    Stll using marker-pens that fade?

    Now there’s the all-new, all-in-one kitchen aid that lets you write indelibly on your paper, not your non-stick. Crispan Magicker (TM) is the air-fryer that stops thieves reading your personal documents. The secret is pink fairy sprinkle technology, that lets you cook healthful meals without the ink fading.

    But wait – order now and you get these life-size Playmobil soldiers and a Leif Garrett impersonator. That’s a forty dollar value for only $1.49 at your local second hand bookstand. Call now for free home delivery.*

    (*Customers may experence delays due to our Fulfillment Center being located in the Scary Sugar-Candy Mountain Pass, inaccessible except by fey young men on palfreys guarded by Godley and Creme).

  6. Tracy Says:

    Effeteness, thy name is Crispan.

  7. Max Bathroom Says:

    Much as I love the air fryer theory, I find it impossible not to wonder if “Crispin Magicker” is a song by Donovan: perhaps he’s Jennifer Juniper’s cousin or something…

  8. Tat Wood Says:

    @Max: what kind of idiot would name a fantasy character after a Donovan song?

    Oh, wait…

  9. fred Says:

    To me he looks like Anthony Andrews in a bad wig.

  10. Ryan Says:

    That guy on foot with his hand on the bridle is about to be trampled to death while his dwarven crossbow companion will be punted over that precipice in three, two, one…

  11. Emster Says:

    I’m with @Tracy on this – if you are looking for a magician to bore the bad guys to death, there’s your man…

  12. JuanPaul Says:

    Even the horse is looking through his eyebrows. Like they’re posing for a band photo.

  13. Hammy Says:

    It sure was nice of the artist to engrave his name and copyright date on the rock wall behind the horse.

  14. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Presumably a real wizard will come along, defeat his fairy dust with lightning, and then he will be Crispy. Or maybe a dragon with flames.

    Either way, with this wuss on the job, the empire has no hope.

    The guy with the sword (Creme?) looks particularly annoyed. “Walkin’ along this narrow gorge is hard enough, I also gotta hold this wimp’s horse cuz he’s too delicate to ride… I’d chuck him over the side but I don’t wanna throw Trooper Crossbow (Godley?) off, he’s having to walk crouched down, guy’s got it bad enough already.”

    Crispy there reminds me of the prince from Holy Grail who just wants to siiiing.

    @FB: No, I think @Tat’s got it right; that’s definitely Leif and not Mark.

    (And now I am picturing a 10cc song to go with, but not sure what.)

  15. Max Bathroom Says:

    Looking at the magic glitter Crispan’s throwing around, maybe “Sand In My Face” would work?

  16. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Max: Excellent suggestion. And of course, when the glitter gets into his eyes, it’s “Cry”.

  17. A. R. Yngve Says:

    “I say, Lord Crispan! How doth thy robe stay so white, on these craggy roads marked by filth and dust?”

    “‘Tis but the magic of Tide.”

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