Feb 11

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What in the name of Poseidon is this? A naked woman?! Look, we can’t have it go out like that, at least cover her up with something adequate, like a skimpy piece of cloth and some small shells covering a small portion of her cleavage. And have her standing on a chained man, pointing her sword at him. That way, it’s acceptable.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.43 out of 10)

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31 Responses to “Conquest of the Amazon”

  1. CSA Says:

    I may be displaying several levels of ignorance here but isn’t that Amazon chick a little too eh…. white?

    Like the font and layout, I kinda like the 70s look of it too, but theres little to no chance of that going anywhere in public. I might consider hiding behing a pornographic magasine and pretend to be ‘reading’ that.

  2. Simon Says:

    Ahhh Frank Frazetta – so much to answer for (as Morrissey would NEVER have sung).

    ‘We need a Frazetta painting for this book! People will think its a Conan novel’
    ‘He’s too expensive . . .’
    ‘We need a painting that looks like a Frazetta painting but isn’t as good but is at least much cheaper, people might still think its a Conan book.’
    ‘I’m on it!’

  3. SI Says:

    ‘You man, stop staring at my jugs and look at my chest!’

    Is he holding a gunpowder pistol?

  4. Adam Roberts Says:

    Why does that man have bumps on his chest?

  5. Simon Says:

    And the author must have been DELIGHTED at how much prominence they gave his name. I mean why not just go the whole hog and tuck it up inside the shadows under the man’s back?

  6. SI Says:

    After a quick google, I was bored, I have a feeling JRF (John Fearn) never lived to see this one being published. He passed away in 1960. But I never noticed that Simon, they really did hide his name in there.

    I did find this:


  7. James Lovegrove Says:

    “Conquest Of The Amazon” — it’s probably a piece of historical or travel writing that through some grievous editorial mishap ended up with VERY MUCH the wrong cover.

  8. Simon Says:

    Or very much the right one.

  9. Adam Roberts Says:

    I like the way she has really well-dressed wrists. I’m guessing in her culture it is as shocking to walk around with naked wrists as it would be in our culture to walk around, er, like those two.

  10. Adam Roberts Says:

    Also: am I mistaken or is she actually standing on his balls?

  11. CSA Says:

    You aren’t mistaken, i believe she is from the very rare (and suspiciously western looking) Native Amazonian tribe of Joanafearne. Where the woman shackles her wrists in order to display her subservience to the man, and then stamps on his testicles when he actually believes that.

  12. James Lovegrove Says:

    Blimey, Adam, if that’s where *your* testicles are, then if I were you I’d have a stern word with the chap who did your vasectomy.

  13. Adam Roberts Says:

    Not if you met him, you wouldn’t. Particularly if he happened to be carrying his surgical cleaver.

  14. James Lovegrove Says:

    You mean you weren’t done with a chainsaw? Call yourself a real man?

  15. Simon Says:

    Speaking though I am as a fellow member of the Snip Club could I suggest to Adam and James that they might want to continue this conversation via email.

    We don’t want to kill this site.

  16. CSA Says:

    I had to post this….
    different cover

    What the HELL has that cover got to with either a)Amazon, the place b)Amazons, the female warriors or c)Amazon, the website ?!

    SI, the author has impressively published many new works after his death: Impressive, most impressive

  17. Adam Roberts Says:

    CSA’s ‘different cover’ is splendid. When will people learn, not to explore the cosmos in edible spaceships? When?

    Since we’re linking to related covers: here.

  18. Simon Says:

    ‘different cover’ – Boy is that lizard giving that spaceship some vasectomy.

    Mr Fearn – clearly a stranger to writer’s block. Now that’s what I call a WRITER goddamnit! Gets up in the morning, EVERY morning, and WRITES! I think he’s written more books than I could read in my life. Especially his.

  19. Karl Says:

    She’s the correct hue if this is pertaining to Amazon Women of the Moon. But does that Lunar Amazon have an Avocado Jungle of Death?

  20. Jim Ryan Says:

    “Conquest of the Amazon”? Even though SHE’S the one on top?

    So, can we assume the artist has a few problems telling the genders apart..?

  21. Rachel H Says:

    This cover is very similar to the The Crystals of Mida: Jalav – Amazon Warrior #1 cover. You could spend a whole week on posting the artwork for Sharon Green books. Seriously they are awful.

  22. Corin Says:

    I won’t lie, I bought this book because of the cover. I also didn’t read it, if I could buy the original painting I would.

  23. vicman Says:

    The tin nipple covers are one of Boris Vallejo’s signatures.

  24. Mark V Thomas Says:

    Re: James Lovegrove’s post…
    Considering that it was part of the Author’s “Golden Amazon” S-F series, ( a later work, Triumph Of The Golden Amazon, is set in the then future year of 1970), who’s protagonist Violet Ray Brant, was a statuesque, genius, amoral, violet eyed Blonde, who in one of the earlier novels had managed to take over the Earth, one wonders if the Art Department had actually read a synopsis of the novel, but just the title, hence the cover…
    (The 1976 Orbit paperback version of the above, has a completely different cover, drawn by Chris Achellos, features a Venusian monster “chowing down” on a spaceship, that’s firing it’s rocket motors, in a futile attempt to escape)…
    The origin story for the Golden Amazon herself, was a combination of Superman (solar radiation augmented her abilities) & Tarzan (raised by non humans, in this case Venusians, as the original stories were written in the late 1940’s…).

  25. Bookworm Bas Says:

    It reminds me of the cover of “Kajira of Gor”by John Norman. I’ll hunt it down in my collection and submit it. It’s a bit of a reversal though. My guess is that perhaps it is a riff on the old Taming of the Shrew theme considering the cover and the title. Thanks to CSA for pointing out other work by the author.

  26. Jim Says:

    I think it is not sufficiently bombastic for a Valejo cover. It looks to me more like the style of Don Lawrence, especially the male figure. Lawrence was the artist on Look and Learn’s Trigan Empire and other strips. I don’t know whether he did book covers.

  27. A.R.Yngve Says:


  28. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    If you’re through conquesting, ma’am…your boudoir is on fire.

  29. anon Says:

    @Jim Ryan: The art of seduction, I guess: You flirt with the woman while fighting, let her win, and if you did it right, not only does she not kill you, but you have a chance of conquest.

    Wait.. Was he fighting handcuffed? With a bad sword? That doesn’t seem fair.

  30. syndlane Says:

    You’re a cowardly bitch, good show sir.

  31. syndlane Says:

    @CSA Says
    “CSA Says:
    February 11th, 2010 at 9:59 am
    I may be displaying several levels of ignorance here but isn’t that Amazon chick a little too eh…. white?

    Like the font and layout, I kinda like the 70s look of it too, but theres little to no chance of that going anywhere in public. I might consider hiding behing a pornographic magasine and pretend to be ‘reading’ that.”
    You’re a cowardly bitch, csa says.

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