Jul 02

We were just going to kill you mortals, but that does look like good cake...Click for full image

Art Direction: Hilarious escapade? Well then, no one is going to care what we put on there. In fact lets just put everything we can! Including Centaurs, which I hear are the next big thing. And we’ll have giant people with planets for faces! We’ll stop there but wait till you see what I have in mind for the font!
Published 2001

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.98 out of 10)

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25 Responses to “Swell Foop”

  1. ShaunCG Says:

    Minotaurs? Centaurs, surely?

    I’m quite taken with the giant crow as well.

  2. Phil Says:

    I want that font. I want every ssssentence I type to contain at leassssst one of them letter esses with the face on.

    I assume the plot of this book involves a fancy dress party. Come as Saturn, or the Moon, or Jupiter, or a 60-watt bulb.

    Come as a tiny person, or a bird of indeterminate size, or as a centaur.

    Just one question: why don’t the centaur’s have mini-me hands?

  3. Phil Says:

    Centaurs, not centaur’s.

  4. Little Mi Says:

    Now this is just odd. Really, really odd.

    The more I look at it the more I have no idea what anyone was thinking when they made this cover.

  5. Little Mi Says:

    ‘Gosh, there’s a man with a moon for a head…quick, give him some cheese’

  6. e.lee Says:

    I pity the mighty celestial being with Uranus for a head…

  7. talkie_tim Says:

    Aren’t those centaurs, not minotaurs? I don’t see any bull-halves.

  8. SI Says:

    Talkie> yep changed now. Centaurs, minotaurs… pfft all the same thing to me.

    “It’s difficult being the only non gas giant face here. They don’t get craters in their faces.”

  9. cutmanmike Says:


  10. DeadRobot Says:

    Sadly, Pluto-head wasn’t invited.

  11. Some Cute Monster Girl Says:

    Everything on this cover, including that ghastly title, can be adequately explained in two words:

    Piers. Anthony.

    / Spent a few months in high school reading the Xanth books until she got a clue.

  12. SI Says:

    Haha Yea we know the Piers sure likes to throw them out there. Being a regular on the site.

    Its no Sos the rope though:

  13. Kristin Says:

    Swell Foop?! Really? There is no way I would ever say that title aloud. “What am I reading? Um, Swell Foop.” Forget it.

  14. Mobile Conquistador Says:

    I read a lot of Piers Anthony stuff when I was younger including this book.

    I can assure you that the cover is pretty literal as to its characters.

    I only read a dozen or so of his books before I realized that they were, uh, bad. Really bad. But I was 14, so whatever. I don’t need this judgement.

  15. Tom Noir Says:

    Honestly I think the artist did a great job illustrating the concept of “Swell Foop.”

  16. NickG Says:

    To be honest, the cover fits the book perfectly. It is a Xanth novel after all.

    Confession: I have read this one, and the dirty little secret is that I laughed at most of the puns.

  17. Don Draper's Inseam Says:

    I prefer my centaurs to have men growing out of their arms.

  18. Brian B Says:

    I prefer my centaurs to be part feline, a lol-taur if you will.

  19. anon Says:

    A whole new meaning for mooning.

  20. Tom Noir Says:

    The guy in the red robes is saying “Sphere not!”

  21. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Planets with tits.
    Planets. With. Tits.

    My work here is done. [*Door slams*]

  22. rev Says:

    This cover has everything. Except dragons and cat-people.

  23. Tom Noir Says:

    If you squint it’s hard to make out the ‘S’, giving the book a title of ‘Well Foop’, which sounds like your mom trying to swear.

  24. FeârofMúsic Says:

    Alright, that title still looks like it says ‘Swell Poop’ to me. Which unfortunately plants a picture in my mind of a couple of guys straight from the Fifties (in black and white no less)

    “Say mister, that sure is some swell poop you got there ”

    ” Why thank you young fellow. It’s nice to meet a young man who has an appreciation for extraordinary excrement. ”

    ” For what? Uh, gee pops I was just, well, I mean I never saw poop quite like that before. Pretty nutty, ya know? ”

    ” Oh my heavens no! I never partake of legumes! Absolutely not! I find they hamper thr definition of my defecation. ”

    ” The what of your what? Hey look pops, I was just sayin’… ”

    ” You see, this is art! This isn’t a case of simply evacuating ones bowels. I, through a series of excercises I designed myself, have trained my sphincter to be a fine instrument of… ”

    ” Hey, whoa there pops! You did what? ”

    ” And in careful conjunction with my colonic caress, which is more of a rippling motion really, I am capable of exquisitely crafted items of intricate beauty! ”

    ” Uhmm… yeah pops. You know, I said this was swell poop. I didn’t say it was nifty neato or peachy keen. And, uh, ya know it’s still poop, right? ”

    ” Why young fellow I manufacture masterpieces with mere muscle control! And my anal articulation is able to… ”

    ” Hey, ya know, I’m late for a date with my gal. I’m gonna meet h
    er at the malt shop. ”

    “It will only take a moment. My muscles are already limber. And what young lady could resist… ”

    “Boy, look at the time! I sure am late! Gotta run! ”

    “But wait! I’ve started the basic form as you can see… ”

    “Bye! ”

    “Why I never! How rude! Why do they always do that? ”

    “Hey mister! That’s some swell poop you got there! ”

    “What did you.. really? You think so… ”
    ” A young lady? Why you should bring her a gift. A special gift. I know just the thing

  25. B. Chiclitz Says:

    That’s gotta be some sort of sphincter ring he’s handing the moonhead. This is all, like, whoa, way over the top, or under the bottom.

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