Jul 21
Click for full imageRod Comments: Killer crabs. Look, there’s a picture too. Surely this spares us having to read the shity thing?
Published 1978
I have a cream for that…. I’ll get my coat.
Many thanks to Rod!
(Average: 5.64 out of 10)
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July 21st, 2010 at 9:45 am
I would totally read this book. KILLER CRABS–withj an enormous giant frickin’ HUUUGE crab on the cover? How could I not? How could anybody not???
Sorry. I seem to be getting a little worked up here. It’s the killer crab, is all.
July 21st, 2010 at 10:18 am
Oh My! What big pincers you have, sir.
July 21st, 2010 at 10:31 am
Now this isn’t too bad. The font reminds me of clockwork orange for some reason.
July 21st, 2010 at 10:41 am
The only thing missing on this cover is the subline
“FROM OUTER SPACE”
I mean, Killer Crabs, fine but “Killer Crabs from Outer Space” … instant classic!
July 21st, 2010 at 10:53 am
You mean http://www.garthmarenghi.com/books/crab.htm is real?!
July 21st, 2010 at 11:22 am
How long can crabs stay out of water anyway? Surely they would only be dangerous near large bodies of water.
The crab has a pretty crazy Lady Macbeth stare while looking at the blood.
July 21st, 2010 at 11:40 am
I had killer crabs once.
July 21st, 2010 at 11:50 am
@SI, ever heard of the annual red crab migration on Christmas Island? It’s practically a Running of the Crabs thing they’ve got going on over there. Honestly, it’s insane.
July 21st, 2010 at 11:57 am
“Myrtle could hear the infernal click-click-click of pedipalps outside on the verandah. Slowly, she slid two rounds into the shotgun, and glanced to where the butter lay within easy reach.”
July 21st, 2010 at 11:58 am
Believe it or not, but this is actually IIRC the third in a series of killer crab novels from Mr Smith
July 21st, 2010 at 12:10 pm
@Herm. Holy crap. I appologise. My crab knowledge is severely lacking! How have I never seen that before? There are some amazing videos of that crab migration.
July 21st, 2010 at 12:29 pm
When picking pseudonyms, the author was initially torn between “Guy Smith” and “Dude Johnson.”
July 21st, 2010 at 12:51 pm
There are tons of these crab books, they’re ace (yes I actually read some of them!) This is the cover I like best though! http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/02/ciu/39/ff/06af012912a0f0a444d3f110.L._SL500_AA300_.jpg
July 21st, 2010 at 1:52 pm
I, too, used to love these books when I was a kid and didn’t know better (or maybe did). Doesn’t that crab seem to be going, “Yoo-hoo, over here! It’s me-ee! Remember me?”
July 21st, 2010 at 2:25 pm
@Tom Noir. How about Dude Lebowski?
July 22nd, 2010 at 1:40 am
@SI #6,
Actually, there are ‘giant’ land crabs, called coconut crabs.
http://blog.sakkoo.com/content/detail_755.html
They can get as big as 3 feet across. When a crab has pincers strong enough to open coconuts, it’s a real-life monster, in my opinion.
July 22nd, 2010 at 9:28 am
Wait a minute. That’s just a normal-sized crab [I’m talking about the book cover, not anne h’s coconus crabs], living in its normal undersea habitat. And like many crabs, it happens to be carnivorous.
Technically, yes, it’s a killer crab – but it’s just the size of a 50p piece and kills only plankton.
July 23rd, 2010 at 9:11 am
“That’s just a normal-sized crab”
…and the fingers?
July 23rd, 2010 at 10:22 am
““That’s just a normal-sized crabâ€
…and the fingers?”
Some kid’s dropped Action Man, obviously.
July 25th, 2010 at 9:13 am
KILLER GOLDFISH – Red and golden menaces attack!
KILLER SHRIMP – Hordes of man-eating crustaceans in a cocktail of DEATH!
KILLER SEAHORSES – They may look funny but you won’t laugh when they unleash seahorse mayhem!
July 25th, 2010 at 4:02 pm
Re: A.R Yngve’s last post
You forgot the sequel to Killer Shrimp…
KILLER SHRIMP II – Prawn of Destruction…
July 25th, 2010 at 9:41 pm
Good one 🙂
July 26th, 2010 at 3:23 pm
rofl! @ A.R Yngve and Mark V.
Don’t forget:
“KILLER BARNACLES!: *They* will be scraping you off!”
“KILLER LANGOUSTINES!: Revenge of the Scampi”
July 26th, 2010 at 8:25 pm
Fingers? Oh, is THAT what those are meant to be. I was thinking anemone!
July 26th, 2010 at 8:26 pm
Fingers? Oh, is THAT what those are meant to be? I was thinking anemone!
July 28th, 2010 at 6:10 pm
What if they were UNDEAD Killer Shrimp? Then we could have:
Prawn Of The Dead!
August 1st, 2010 at 8:00 pm
Coming soon to a bookshop near you… ?
Killer Shrimp IV: Attack of the 50ft Undead Shrimp…
August 2nd, 2010 at 9:22 am
Excellent fish based puns.
Though I can still see someone off to the side saying, “Can we heat a swimming pool to boiling point? This is going to be an awesome feast!”
August 8th, 2010 at 9:20 pm
Re: Si’s last post…
Coming soon to a episode of a celebrity Cook’s T.V series (Hugh Fernley-Whittingstall’s…?) near you…
“How to cook 50ft Crabs…
First, take your swimming pool, & fill with water (fresh, if you want to make a fish soup, otherwise why not try sea water…
Add the homicidal sea food, (taking care not to be killed”, and insert the heating elements…”
August 18th, 2010 at 6:43 pm
‘…..crabs the size of beach donkeys.’
Poor, poor little Rodney.
August 25th, 2010 at 2:19 am
This cover is amazing! Rock on!
December 20th, 2010 at 12:10 pm
I read this as a kid when it first came out in paperback and, despite being at that “read lots and don’t pause to criticise” stage, this book broke my almost indestructible suspension of disbelief. It wasn’t helped by the most perfunctory and off-hand denouement I’d ever read up to that point. Really, if you can’t convince a wide-eyed 13 year old boy who is hoovering up all the SFF and horror he could lay hands on in the most uncritical way, you’re doing something wrong.
May 13th, 2013 at 4:56 pm
@Tag Wizard: Another “giant enemy crab” sighting here. We’re going to need a bigger boat.
May 31st, 2015 at 10:18 pm
I cherish the thought that, for however short a time, George R. R. Martin planned to include a ‘House Smith’ in Game of Thrones, whose totem would be a crab.
Ah, well.
August 25th, 2015 at 5:07 am
At least you know the cover is accurate.
February 16th, 2017 at 1:40 pm
If the title of this was KILLER CARBS it would be much more frightening.
February 16th, 2017 at 1:57 pm
@Tom: realistic, natch.
December 27th, 2023 at 1:47 am
Crabs series, worth a read.
Last paragraph.
‘The Crabs series is, and will probably always remain, the pre-eminent work of fiction about gigantic crab monsters killing people. Unfortunately, that’s mostly due to the scarcity of works in the sub-genre, rather than any especial quality. The books are formulaic and repetitive, with some truly uncomfortable attitudes shining through. I was disappointed in them.’
https://inconsistentpacing.com/2020/03/17/crabs-guy-n-smith-review/
December 27th, 2023 at 7:53 am
So tell me, Mr. Smith: what’s this book about?
December 27th, 2023 at 1:48 pm
Not coming soon to a cinema near you:
https://blog.lovarzi.co.uk/the-third-doctor-who-movie-the-plot-revealed/ https://tardis.fandom.com/wiki/Dr_Who%27s_Greatest_Adventure_(unproduced_theatrical_film)
December 27th, 2023 at 3:45 pm
@Tat: Claymation…3-D… IMAX…Tim Burton…Depp…Helena Bonham Carter. If this was an adaptaion of a Dick Blade book it already would have been made.
December 27th, 2023 at 10:26 pm
I say these covers are nowt compared to the re-enactment we did on that megapost what I was in: https://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/?p=13293
@fred: Loved “how, eight books in, is “giant crabs murder people in Wales” still a novel hazard?”
@Tat: GSS for finding that.
December 28th, 2023 at 5:40 am
Nice find, @Tat. Giant crab attack does sound like a Tom Baker era episode. (Tom Baker was my first Who: PBS showed all the Baker era episodes in sequence in the 80s, before going on to earlier and later Doctors. I have fond nostalgic memories I have avoided spoiling by re-watching. 🙂 )