Sep 07
Click for full imageDavid Comments: Eric Brighteyes by H Rider Haggard (1891) was set in the Viking Age. I have no idea where he found the bikini babe, ray gun or early model Bluetooth headset.
Published 1978
Vikings had lasers… right?
Many thanks to David!
(Average: 8.26 out of 10)
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September 7th, 2010 at 10:05 am
Haha, is he really going to have a lightsaber fight while holding the damsel in distress? Reminds me of Shoot Em’ Up.
September 7th, 2010 at 10:06 am
Don’t think the cover is too bad. But in the viking context… wow…
I’m also not sure what angle he is firing his laser. Looks… odd
September 7th, 2010 at 10:10 am
No no, the cover is historically accurate, Honest Guv!
Very few laymen know that Vikings perfected the mead-powered laser.
September 7th, 2010 at 10:16 am
The sword is brighter than his eyes, obviously. Not word about his mind in relation to brightness, as far as I can make out.
September 7th, 2010 at 12:09 pm
(Eric) Bri-hite Eyes! Burning like a fire …
I seem to have a song in my heart this week.
September 7th, 2010 at 1:42 pm
The bikini clad babe appears to have a tail and green toes. I imagine that’s going to be a bit of a surprise for our hero later on tonight.
September 7th, 2010 at 2:54 pm
Can’t wait to read this one, good old Online Books
http://onlinebooks.library.upenn.edu/webbin/gutbook/lookup?num=2721
Glowing swords and lizard maidens don’r seem so unlikely to me, the revolver in his holster does seem a little anachronistic, though.
September 7th, 2010 at 6:40 pm
Turn around bright eyes… and face thy dooooom!
September 8th, 2010 at 8:50 am
Actually the book is quite good, if you can get past the mock Viking age language. For example:
“Hearken all men!” said Eric.
“Thrust him out!” quoth Björn.
“Nay, cut him down!” said Ospakar, “he is an outlawed man.”
“Words first, then deeds,” answered Skallagrim. “Thou shalt have thy fill of both, Blacktooth, before day is done.”
“Let Eric say his say,” said Gudruda, lifting her head. “He has been doomed unheard, and it is my will that he shall say his say.”
“What hast thou to do with Eric?” snarled Ospakar
Oddly enough, this particular edition has several illustrations scattered among the pages. And none of them have ray guns, or space suits or bikini babes with green tentacles. Only the cover contains such over the top artwork,
September 8th, 2010 at 12:36 pm
I think this cover would work a lot better for one of Burroughs’ Mars novels, or one of the innumerable clones. I wonder if this was a matter of the publisher having this illustration in stock rather than commissioning a cover specfically for this novel.
Also love that dialogue! Certainly better than anything in Star Wars Ep II
September 8th, 2010 at 9:12 pm
David H, to an ear raised on Poul Anderson, that sounds horrible. Skalding should be left to those skilled in it. If the unskilled try they tend to get badly skalded.
(sorry)
September 9th, 2010 at 6:01 pm
Nix:
Pretty much what I thought. The book has a reasonably good story line. After all it was a H Rider Haggard adventure novel. The real problem is the Victorian Viking pastiche style. Somehow, a story set in ancient times had to sound like Charlton Heston as Moses.
September 9th, 2010 at 6:02 pm
Oh, and puns appreciated!
September 13th, 2010 at 4:30 am
They had already invented light sabers, guns and jewelry but not clothes?
September 13th, 2010 at 9:27 am
Oh, I didn’t notice that it was *Haggard*. That explains everything, bulging thews and cod-victoriana both.
You’d think the Vikings would be quite hot on clothing. Scandinavia is pretty cold. (Mind you, walking around York in winter, half the young ladies are wearing much less than they do down south. Possibly this is a holdover from Viking times?)
November 8th, 2013 at 11:05 pm
‘His sword shone with magic might that could set fire to the gas of any lady at the party.’
September 26th, 2015 at 10:07 am
What’s with the huge snaketail/tentacle coming out of the lady’s pooper?
March 2nd, 2016 at 6:29 pm
“I swear I dropped my keys here somewhere…”
January 24th, 2017 at 1:01 pm
A total eclipse of the art.
May 18th, 2023 at 3:27 pm
To reiterate Adam Roberts’s point: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCVtU3lxM9M
May 18th, 2023 at 4:39 pm
Perhaps this was a travel poster created by Eric the Red to trick people into moving to Greenland?
“Coom and see der minarets and der heff nekkid ladies of Greenland, yah?”
May 18th, 2023 at 5:06 pm
Looks as though ‘e’s gonna ride ‘er haggard, all right.
(Okay, maybe doesn’t quite fit, but I couldn’t leave it alone.)
May 18th, 2023 at 6:45 pm
A Luke daydream before he found out about the brother/sister news.
May 18th, 2023 at 9:13 pm
Classic fantasy cover – ranks pretty high on the 70’s Cheese-o-Meter. Took me a sec to notice her snake tail… the whole thing screams first gen D&D.
May 19th, 2023 at 12:51 am
Yes dear, I’m sure the spider is dead. Can I put you down now?
May 19th, 2023 at 2:17 am
There really is a Doctor Who quote for all occasions, even if you have to go to TV Comic for it http://diehideouscreaturedie.blogspot.com/2011/01/why-is-doctor-killing-that-hideous.html
Or get the shirt: https://www.redbubble.com/i/t-shirt/Die-Hideous-Creature-Die-by-kryten4k/28187885.NL9AC
Oh my giddy aunt!
May 19th, 2023 at 3:14 am
Knowing the density of your average reptile/snake, does that tail weigh as much as the rest of her? Is he gonna amputate it with his lightsaber so she can walk by herself?
Regarding the helmet, remember Bluetooth was a Viking, right?
The following isn’t suitable for submission (even if the site was working), but if there was a mystery version of GSS, it would go there:
https://www.amazon.com/Will-Stop-At-Nothing-Peters-ebook/dp/B09TNRZDQ6
May 19th, 2023 at 6:34 am
She warned him not to, but if you have a glowy magic sword/lightsaber/whatever, those ill-defined dark blotches are going to get a good poking, and there’s no arguing about it.
May 19th, 2023 at 6:25 pm
Anybody notice how fabulous her slippers are? And how deformed her left ankle is?
May 19th, 2023 at 10:22 pm
@BC: Her ankles (heels?) are more proof of the “hard to draw” axiom. Either that or that’s why he’s having to carry her, what with those protuberances and seemingly only one toe.
I’d wear his booties. Nice low heels, but a bit baggy around the ankles (hmm, a trend?) for carrying snake women while wielding a laser weapon.
At least the lighting is aptly brighter near the glow. Though it’s closer to her butt than is comfortable for her.
@Bruce: I can’t figure how the blotches fit in with the amorphous blue of Castle Minaret either.
May 20th, 2023 at 2:35 pm
Now I’ve seen this, I really hope that Kensington did paperback editions of King Solomon’s Mines, Cleopatra, Colonel Quaritch or Montezuma’s Daughter with covers by the same artist…