Sep 24

Awesome boobs... give me thirty minutes to take off this stealth Mark VI power armour and then we can....Click for full image

Art Direction: We’ll have the male sitting on an Ikea chair like he’s James Bond with laser guns and space ships. We’ll put him in some sort of spandex suit with knee pads and fob that off as armour. With the girl lets go for nudity but we’ll photoshop in some clothes later. What we really want is, plenty of side boob! Therefore appealing to both genders… right?
Published 2010

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.78 out of 10)

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28 Responses to “Captain Flandry: Defender of the Terran Empire”

  1. SI Says:

    These guys will do anything to win a game of chess. I guess they are trying to distract each other, he takes out his laser she shows her… bishops.

    Your move captain, your move…

  2. A.R.Yngve Says:

    An empire defended by Dominic Flandrys is just not going to last. For one thing, it’s too easily distracted by a pair of breasts.

  3. Parker Says:

    “Mother? We’re not in a Heinlein novel.. go put your top back on.”

  4. Lexi Revellian Says:

    What is that girl DOING? Standing on one leg with one hand on top of her head holding a shoe…why, why?

    Hang on, I’ve just thought – of course, they’re playing strip chess. Silly me. It all falls into place now.

  5. Nix Says:

    They were definitely going for the Bond look, which is not too entirely inaccurate for Flandry. He *definitely* gets distracted by looks (until it matters).

    (Why is this tagged ‘cleavage’? None at all is visible.)

  6. admin Says:

    @Nix – Cleavage is effectively our tag for boobs! You’ll never believe the people who get their knickers in a twist about that one out there on the inter-ma-webs.

  7. Jeff Vader Says:

    This might be somewhat pedantic, but I just wanted to point out that the chair in question is Arne Jacobssens classic “The Egg” which retails for something like 6000 euros… Scandinavian yes, but IKEA it is not…

  8. SI Says:

    Wow… good knowledge Jeff!

    If I am looking right it’s not only a Arne Jacobsen Egg.. but a hover version. I’m sure that would put on a few euros to the price!

  9. Carl Says:

    Our brave, rock-ribbed hero Captain Flandry suddenly finds himself projected into a canceled Fox Network sci-fi show!

  10. Tom Noir Says:

    The girl’s attitude towards Captain Flandry might cool considerably if he accidentally shot her, so I think he should take his finger off the trigger until he’s less… distracted.

  11. futurescientist Says:

    Looks like they photoshopped in her right leg, too. Either that or it’s her parasitic twin’s.

  12. Adam Roberts Says:

    Captain Flanders? I must have missed that episode of the Simpsons.

    Good okely-dokely show sir!

  13. Jen Says:

    Captain Flandry: Heh heh this is sure going to be a distraction from our chess ga–hey wait, is that my prized “Limited Edition Holiday Cling Film” collection you’re wearing?! How could you?!

  14. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Not tonight, honey, I’m busy cleaning my gun. Whaddya mean ‘take your finger off the trigger’?? I know what I’m do–” *BLAM*

  15. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The Technic Civilization Saga — jolting tension in the tradition of The Cultural Culture Cantos and The Barbaric Barbarians Trilogy !!”

  16. Anna T. Says:

    Flandry: “Why do they keep sending stripper assassins after me? It’s getting tiring.”

  17. Jon T. Says:

    The female toplessness is, depending which stories are included in the collection, sort of accurate – not in the sense that the scene as drawn occurs in any particular Flandry story but there were at least a couple of stories in which Flandry visited worlds with warm weather where my impression was Anderson made a game of trying to slip into his scene setting that all the females were topless briefly and subtly enough to escape notice on first reading.

  18. B. Chiclitz Says:

    In Flandry’s field the ladies glow
    Before the chessmen, row on row,
    That mark his manhood, and his fear
    That she is just a bit too near

    And so his gun, that trusty rod
    Will stave off her bodacious bod
    While Flandry, manly, goes to war
    Pretending that he could have scored.

  19. Bibliomancer Says:

    Take up our quarrel with the foe
    And march our pawns to the final row
    Your bra remove and hold up high
    Strip chess for keeps is how we vie

    If ye break faith we died in vain
    Stuck painting covers here at Baen
    Like Captain Flandry

  20. Tat Wood Says:

    Oh, Flandry. I thought you said ‘Laundry’

  21. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘Ho-HO! Your exotic matter pasties may be dense enough to warp the windows behind me and the chair beneath me, but my sidearm–and my smirk–are untouched!’

  22. Bibliomancer Says:

    @B. Chiclitz – Perhaps you would like the original oil painting hanging in your mancave.
    A bargain at $7200:

  23. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Thanks @ Bibliomancer. At least now I know where the other shoe got to, as well as the rest of the white pieces on the chessboard. But I think I’ll pass on the purchase. I’m saving up for this cool bear suit.

  24. Perry Armstrong Says:

    Stupid Sexy Flandry.

  25. anon Says:

    Isn’t this guy on Agents of Shield?

  26. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Captain Flandry — Overcompensator Of The Empire

  27. Bibliomancer Says:

    Starring Seth MacFarlane as Captain Flandry

  28. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I clicked back to this one after our Flashback Friday of the next, and I must say B.C. and B’mancer did a swell job on comments 18 & 19. I want to hear some guy read it aloud in a plummy voice. Good Show, Sirs.

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