Feb 24

Using this control panel is dangerous. It's already stabbed me in the chest.Click for full image

GK Comments: There must be something a lot more interesting going on to his right.
Published 1986

Many thanks to GK!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.70 out of 10)

Tagged with:

36 Responses to “Gladiator At Law”

  1. Weirdmage Says:

    I bet he’s thinking “Wish that b*tch would go away, so I can watch those men in loincloths and go back to w*nking.”

  2. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “57 channels, and nothing’s on…”

  3. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Coming tonight on Bravo Midnight Classics: The Leather-Clad Centurion… Sandals and Loincloths… Sweaty Gladiators… and Big Shiny Spears.

  4. THX 1138 Says:

    Pah, whatever happened to the real men like Steve Reeves?

  5. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Perhaps he’s looking for his briefs! Bah-dum-psht.

  6. Doug Says:

    I love it when men fight with swords of fire…..or maybe it is the schwartz!

  7. Christal Says:

    OMG that looks like Han Solo in is dungarees with his latest space floozy, and they have hijacked the enterprise and are watching Spartacus on the viewscreen!

  8. Adam Roberts Says:

    For one horrified moment I thought the title was Gladiator In-Laws, and that the lady on the cover was looking aghast at her new husband’s family. Thank heavens it’s only Gladiator At Law!

  9. Phil Says:

    I’ve counted, and it’s mathematically and anatomically correct – but she looks as if she has too many fingers.

  10. Green Says:

    I perused this very edition at my local used bookstore just recently. The plot’s just as cheesy as the cover. 😀

  11. NGpm Says:

    Well, I may not be a fancy pants city gladiator, but there is one thing of which I am sure … just as sure as my gladius will kill a witness, my client is innocent.

    If the glaive does not fit, you must acquit.

  12. Tom Noir Says:

    “Mommy, what is that gladiator doing to that other gladiator?”

  13. Dalton H. Says:

    And yet here we have another example of the early light saber, this one pre-The Drawing of the Dark and involving less clothing.

  14. Kate Shaw Says:

    Those people have huge hands! Seriously, chest-wound dude looks like he swapped hands with a gorilla. Even the woman’s hand is enormous. Has anyone read the book? Is it a plot point that the characters have hands the size of catcher mitts?

  15. Phil Says:

    Call me slooowww, but I’ve only just realised that the two guys in the background are carrying olympic torches. Or, more precisely, the one on the left is holding an olympic torch with an amazing, gravity defying, slanted flame; while the one on the right is somehow balancing his on his index finger. No wonder everyone on this cover looks confused.

  16. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Honey, the Middle East is in flames and there’s talk of revolution over here…”

    “Not now, woman! Can’t you see I’m watching the game??”

  17. SI Says:

    Is that a young Jeff Goldbum?

  18. SI Says:

    Wait I meant Goldblum!!! ….. or did I …

  19. Don Hilliard Says:

    It’s Barbie with Kung-Fu Grip!

  20. A.R.Yngve Says:

    What “24” fans really crave. (And they’ll get it… in the future!)

  21. GK Says:

    Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

  22. Neville Says:

    And what, exactly, is he DOING with his oversized left claw? Opening peanut butter? Peeling paint chips? Killing a car hood with the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique?

  23. JuanPaul Says:

    If you squint your eyes it looks like those gladiators aren’t fighting.

  24. David Cowie Says:

    @ JuanPaul: The damsel may have worked that one out already.

    Is anyone else curious about the book in the background marked FIRST TIME IN PRINT?

  25. Tom Noir Says:

    “Got an on-the-job injury? Been tangled in your own net? Slipped and fallen while trying to impale a man with a trident? Repetitive stress injury from giving all those thumbs downs? Call the law offices of Marcus, Brutus & Smith, Gladiators At-Law. We’re on YOUR side!”

  26. Tat Wood Says:

    How is her right thumb doing that?

  27. rev Says:

    Hello!! My name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father. Prepare to die.

  28. anon Says:

    @JuanPaul: I think it’s because one leg of the guy on the left is exactly the same colour as the guy on the right and vice versa.

  29. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    That awkward moment when Paul Sereno realizes Beverly Leech is more interested in television than their blind date.

  30. Perry Armstrong Says:

    Let’s give a big hand to the unknown artist, and hope that one day he receives his dream commission to provide a cover for the James Bond novel ‘Devil May Care’ by Sebastian Faulks.

  31. DaveM Says:

    “Oh dear, you’d get a much better score on that gladiator game if you’d stop getting distracted and look at the screen instead. And next time I see that top in the wash, it’s going straight in the bin!”

  32. Tom Noir Says:

    Holy repressed homoeroticism, Batman!

  33. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Tom Noir—Repressed?

  34. anon Says:

    @B.Chiclitz: I think he’s referring to the guy the girl is pawing.

  35. Tom Noir Says:

    Exactly, the fellow whose facial expression says, “I must strive to focus on my attractive blonde girlfriend and not think at all about the bare, oiled-up, sinewy bodies of those men earnestly groping each other over there!”

  36. Ryan Says:

    I have this very book on my bookshelf, and I can report that the cover is somewhat accurate in the following sense.

    The story’s original publishing date is in the 1950s, and the story itself could not be any more 1950s science fiction written in New York City if it tried – typical Pohl and Kornbluth stuff.

    However, Baen (all hail Baen) reprinted it in the 1980s and put their artist’s idea of what the story would have looked like had it taken place in 1984 or so.

    In summary, Golden Age urban science fiction meets Golden Age Baen 1980s cover – a perfect match of the heights of science fictional printing action. With giant hands.

Leave a Reply