Jun 02
Click for full imageTom’s Art Direction: Listen you lot, it’s supposed to be a DRAGON. This just looks like some sort of blue lizard. It needs more pointy bits! Don’t come back until you’ve absolutely peppered that thing with spikes. Oh, and draw the world’s most awkward swordsman beside it, you know, for human interest.
Published 1985
(Average: 6.87 out of 10)
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June 2nd, 2011 at 7:38 am
So where are the cats?
June 2nd, 2011 at 9:00 am
Excuse me, dragon, could you spare any change for a cup of tea? No, I’m not threatening you. I don’t HAVE a sword, I really don’t.
June 2nd, 2011 at 9:04 am
Sorry for double-posting, but this could be (and probably is) an endless series.
Book 2: Cats Have No Lady
Book 3: Cats Have No Vest
…
Book N: Cats Have No X, where X is any singular noun selected at random.
June 2nd, 2011 at 9:33 am
“So I says to them, take my damsel – please! What? This is my best material!”
June 2nd, 2011 at 9:44 am
“If you say you are a cat, you are a cat. So do you want a full cream organic or semi-skimmed?”
June 2nd, 2011 at 12:16 pm
are they in the cave of popcorn?
June 2nd, 2011 at 4:19 pm
Here kitty, kitty, kitty.
June 2nd, 2011 at 4:49 pm
What really impresses me about this book at second glance is the way the title, the blurb and the cover art all have NOTHING to do with one another.
June 2nd, 2011 at 5:30 pm
Silly title. Of course cats have a Lord and his full title is Ham the Delicious One.
June 3rd, 2011 at 2:54 am
“…drawn together on a quest whether they like it or not…”
Has anyone figured out the subject of this sentence? Is it the eponymous ronin cats? Is it the clueless swordsman (who is wearing his sword on the wrong side unless he happens to be left-handed) and the blue lizard-thing? Is it Will Shetterly and the title?
June 3rd, 2011 at 11:19 pm
Doesn’t the dragon’s left “paw” look awfully arthritic?
And what’s up with the swordsman’s left leg? It’s like his knee has been replaced with plasticene.
June 4th, 2011 at 6:58 am
I’m usually pretty lukewarm on typography issues, but JESUS CHRIST. It’s like viewing the title in a funhouse mirror.
June 5th, 2011 at 10:38 am
futurescientist is right: it’s normal C, italicised ATS, normal H, italicised AVE… How tedious for the typographer.
June 5th, 2011 at 8:54 pm
“Brother, can you spare a coin…?”
“I HAVE ALREADY GIVEN TO OTHER HUMANS!!”
June 6th, 2011 at 1:15 pm
Darned Godless Commie cats…
June 20th, 2011 at 4:16 pm
The Pirate Dentist on his monthly check-up on Smaug.
June 23rd, 2011 at 5:24 pm
“Here kitty, kitty, kitty….”
As soon as the dragon comes close enough, that guy is gonna womp it on the head with his stick sword….poor dragon. It makes me sad to see dragons being confused for cats…unless, of course, that is indeed a cat in disguise and the guy knows something we don’t….
June 24th, 2011 at 2:53 am
Don’t feel sorry for the Dragon… feel sorry for Geezer Numpty Bollocks when he finds out he should have stabbed instead of womped.
July 26th, 2011 at 3:48 pm
The scary part is that the character in the awkward pose otherwise matches his description from the book spot-on (yes, he *is* a lefty, blonde, one-eyed, and mustached) and there really was a dragon involved. The artist gets +1 for getting those details right, -1 for apparently not having bothered to try arranging his own arms that way to find out if the pose would work.
August 19th, 2011 at 4:16 pm
What I want to know is WHAT ON EARTH the cover illustration has to do with the title… Are there cats in the book? Do they look like dragons on that planet? So many questions…
October 20th, 2023 at 8:37 am
The dragon sleeps on a pile of gold because if it slept on anything softer its face spikes would keep getting stuck.
“So…”
“Yeah…”
“Quest?”
“Naah.”
“But…”
“Yes?”
“The cats…”
“Yeah…don’t want to have to deal with the cats.”
“That wouldn’t be good.”
“So…quest then?”
“I…guess? Man, I really don’t want to do this.”
“You’re doing that thing…”
“Huh?”
“With your arms…”
“Sorry. I never know what to do with them when I’m, er…”
“Nervous?”
“I’d say stressed.”
October 20th, 2023 at 12:36 pm
The quest comes in on big cat dragon feet.
October 20th, 2023 at 2:20 pm
This is still better than the CGI in the “Hobbit” trilogy.
October 20th, 2023 at 4:06 pm
@fred: I think the cat is dragon it’s feet, and that’s why it’s not in the picture…
October 22nd, 2023 at 1:40 am
I think this needs a “font problems”. And “booties”.
Ian, way back at (1) mentioned the most important: a book titled “Cats Have No Lord” has a cover with only a dude and a dragon pictured. There’s space to have painted in some kitties. Or the title could have been changed; not having read it, I don’t even know if there are lordless cats in the book.
Maybe this is a cover made for “The Fop and the Dragon”, and people were also confused when a bunch of reluctant kitties on a quest were romping around lordlessly on the cover of that book. Bit of a mix-up at the printers.
5 seconds after this picture, dude slices his own right arm with the sword. Unlike the artist, I did try putting my arms in that position (just a ruler available, no sword) and NO.
@Leak: Cats are smarter than the fop, and aren’t about to get into that situation. Especially without a lord to order them to. And they like to sleep on soft things, none of which are available unless the dragon lets them have the fop’s clothes after fop… doesn’t need them any more.
October 22nd, 2023 at 5:12 am
Can you imagine the horrifying scraping shrieks that dragon’s claws make when he’s walking across the stone floor of a castle? Fingernail on blackboard? Fork tine digging into dinner plate? Nothing in comparison.
October 23rd, 2023 at 12:14 am
Continuing @Phil’s alternate titles, inspired by @Bruce and @GSSx-n:
Cats All Got Bored (could not be bothered to pose for cover)
Cat Dressed as Smaug (and not happy that the delivery guy forgot his cheezburgr)
October 23rd, 2023 at 1:29 am
@Emster: LOL. We have seen the cat/dragon comparison via “How to Train Your Dragon”, so maybe. Even if it is a dragon, a cheezburgr would not go amiss in this situation.
@BC: I did imagine it and gritted my teeth.