Sep 26

With my sword I will... AHHHH GOD I'M BLIND!!!Click for full image

Art Direction: You want to know what we need art minion!?! Let me tell you. The bigest TINGGGGGGGG anyone has ever seen! Make sure even the man holding his mighty sword is blinded by its awesomeness. Oh and… make sure he’s pretty much naked. Why? Well… why not? Eh?
Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.52 out of 10)

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32 Responses to “Shea”

  1. bincat23 Says:

    Oh and plenty of defined muscles but a face like a blue square premier league physio.

  2. SI Says:

    So much Ting…….

  3. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The new Ken doll is WAY too anatomically detailed.

  4. A.R.Yngve Says:

    And behold the confusion at the top of the page!
    Several titles and names are competing for attention:
    “Budy Matieson”
    “Chroniques du Retour Sauvage – 2”

    Perhaps the French editor has multiple personalities?
    Personality 1: “Ze title is ‘Anticipation!'”
    Personality 2: “Non! Ze proper title is ‘Shea’!!”
    Personality 2: “Zatapatique! Shut up both of me, ze title is ‘Chroniques du Retour Sauvage Ken et Barbie!!”

  5. THX 1138 Says:

    “Hey, Conan – you like gladiator movies?”

  6. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Billy, do you like hanging out in gyms?”

  7. Phil Says:

    After a relative dry spell of TING! action, Good Show Sir rebounds with a year’s supply.

    I don’t know what a “fleuve” is (let alone a black one), but it’s been well placed to conceal our hero’s modesty.

  8. brenope Says:

    Why are his armpits so big?

  9. bincat23 Says:

    Oh dear he’s got the same hair as my old history teacher.

  10. fred Says:

    His large backpack full of hair care products must be on the ground somewhere.

  11. Muttley Says:

    Fleuve Noir is Black River and retour sauvages is back to the wild, more or less. Post-apocalyptic Charles Atlas methinks.

  12. A.R.Yngve Says:

    But if it’s a post-apocalyptic scenario… how come he looks like he just ate a bloody steak with steroids after three hours in the gym?

    Shouldn’t he be scrawny, half-starved and have boils?

  13. Muttley Says:

    He’s really good with that sword . . .

  14. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    I think his face looks like that because the awesomeness of the sword (or was the awesomeness of the TING?) melted it.

  15. anon Says:

    Oh, that’s a sword?
    I thought he was into puppetry..

  16. kurt Says:

    if this isn’t freudian, i don’t know what is.

  17. A.R.Yngve Says:


  18. Tom Noir Says:

    This cover was way ahead of its time: All the hot celebs are getting their skin upholstered now.

  19. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Ah, mon cher Sir Tag—weird pecs or wot? My god they’re 3-D!

    Also, I think that’s “I HAVE ZEE TOUPÉEEE!!!”

  20. rev Says:

    Ohh its fleuve noir. The fleuveriest of all the noirs.

  21. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “It is the year 2070. World War III has burned up every last item of clothing but left all human skin intact….”

  22. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:


  23. L.B. Says:

    Does he shiver with antici….?

  24. A.R.Yngve Says:


  25. Tat Wood Says:

    I’ve spent thirty-five years wondering what Feargal Sharkey’s cousin Kevin looked like. Now we know.

  26. anon Says:

    After a while the ting burns off all facial features.

  27. A.R.Yngve Says:


  28. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Was this guy another French variation on Dick Blade?

    Also, “Shea”? Like the stadium? Or the butter? He does look pretty oiled up.

  29. THX 1138 Says:

    @GSSe-n: It’s obviously an early gig for Shea Whigham, one he had hoped would lie buried forever…

  30. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @THX: A mite too buff for that gent.

    The Ting! here is so mighty, it removes all body hair. And maybe all hair, if the Ken-doll-like stuff atop his head is what it looks like.

    “Weird pecs” for sure; they’re pyramidal! Not sure he has nipples either.

  31. Ryan Says:

    The scabbard’s belt was all that held up his pants – once he brandished the scabbard and sword, he also brandished his nether parts as the trousers descended tout suite.

  32. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Ryan: It’s OK, no one could see his équipement de gentilhomme since he’d blinded them with the TING.

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