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Feb 29

When jumping through poisonous smoke killing mutants remember one thing... safety! Never forget your kneepads!Click for full image

GK Comments: When you point your finger at someone, there are three pointing back at you.
Published 2004

Tag Wizard Comments: We’re on holiday this week. Enjoy these blasts from the past!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.75 out of 10)
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27 Responses to “The Cobra Trilogy”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    Not so much a book cover, more a gymnastics display.

  2. SI Says:

    I love this cover. All I can hear in my head is.

    “Pow pow pow pow! No I got you! You’re dead!”

  3. Alessandra Kelley Says:

    Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles as a Sid and Marty Krofft live-action TV show from the 1970s?

  4. A.R.Yngve Says:

    *Cough*
    *Cough*
    *Cough*

  5. Lulu Says:

    Well, ya want as many clashing bright green patterns as possible when you’re express laser jumping in an urban landscape. helps scare away the lasers. obviously.

  6. Muttley Says:

    No, no, no, apprentice, I’ve told you before, hold the double-ended light sabre in *front* of you. You’ll cut yourself in half like that Viking we saw the other day.

  7. fred Says:

    Parkour + static electricity + silly camouflage + finger fetishism + Buffy demons = WTF?

  8. Yoss Says:

    Is that a large anthropomorphic bug peaking out of his waistband? (See the antennae and eyes?)

  9. Tom Noir Says:

    Alright everybody, on three: JAZZ HANDS!

  10. A.R.Yngve Says:

    There’s so much smoke on this cover, people will spontaneously throw water on it.

  11. Alessandra Kelley Says:

    The Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtle appears to be fighting elves made of parsnips.

  12. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Seriously, this cover is so smoky it ought to have a warning label: “MAY CAUSE LUNG CANCER.”

  13. Jaouad Says:

    Somehow, shooting blue laserbeams from your pinkies seems a bit… effete.

  14. anon Says:

    George Lucas’ monstrous guy with a double-bladed lightsaber was cooler than this guy’s.

  15. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    Wherever there’s trouble GI Joe is there…Yoooo Joe!

  16. Ray P Says:

    Splinter Cell Gecko Force featuring Sam Fisher’s lesser known colleague.

  17. anon Says:

    Why are his lungs attached to his groin by wires?

  18. A.R.Yngve Says:

    – This cover is so smoky…
    How smoky is it?
    – So smoky that Jair Bolsonaro vehemently denies that burning Amazon rainforests are to blame!

  19. Tor Mented Says:

    You don’t want to invite this guy for tea. When he holds out his pinky, people die.

  20. Tat Wood Says:

    Not entirely sure what’s happening here but if the orange tube is a water-pipe and the blue stuff squirting on the bottommost guy’s abdomen is cold water, maybe this is Robert de Niro’s swashbuckling plumber from ‘Brazil’.

  21. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I only needed to see the fonts (and their many colors) to know the publisher.

    Parkour Boy’s helmet makes him look like an ape.

    Where is that red beam coming from/going to? If it’s just a laser, not a double lightsaber, someone’s a bad shot.

    @Tat: I haven’t seen “Brazil” for a few years, but I don’t recall parsnip-elf-mutants in it. Maybe they were in a cut scene, in which case I like your idea.

  22. Bruce A Munro Says:

    His costume was cleverly designed to blend in on the Planet Covered with Iguanas, but thanks to a routing error he was sent to the Pollution Goblin planet instead.

  23. fred Says:

    Pointy 8 fingers 2 thumbs of death guy has trained for this exact moment his entire life and will stop this fool right in his tracks.

  24. Emster Says:

    I was too distracted by the “A” that was underlined 4 times (probably to help balance out “Trilogy” which had to be smaller to get all that BAEN-y illustrate-y goodness onto the cover) to take any notice of the parsnips, but now that I’ve seen them, I’ll obsess about them for a while…

    Completely forgot that De Nero was in “Brazil”, which means it’s time to rewatch!

  25. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @fred: Yeah, in his position, I’d be pointing my laser pinkie at the parsnip he’s about to land on.

    @Emster: If it’s a trilogy, why not 3 lines under the A?

    Don’t drink tea with this guy, he’ll zap your ceiling or you, depending on how he holds his cup.

    The tiny pinkie lasers do seem so effete for such a putatively manly man.

    Now, here’s a Cobra who is SUPER manly and has a big gun. I will accept no other.

    https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0235138/

    (First saw him in 2nd generation VHS in Japanese, no dub, no sub. Still loved it.)

    No parsnips, smokin’ a stogie as he takes on evil, plenty of hot women, and a BIG weapon that’s half his left arm.

  26. Tat Wood Says:

    Parsnip-elf mutants? That takes me back
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAbrvrYeSvA
    So this is a radical re-imagining of Rupert Bear? Better call Sir Paul…

  27. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tat: hears elderly man’s voice saying “for fuck’s sake” in Liverpool accent

    Was the artist scared by this as a kid 50 years ago, or on YouTube at the time of painting?

    Really, being as this is in spaaaaace, these parsnips would have been more alien-y if they were blue. But I guess that wouldn’t fit in with the overall beige and green-ness of it all.

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