Mar 19

These anti-piracy DRM's are getting a little extreme!Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Lady, it’s time to get a Macbook Air.
Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.64 out of 10)

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49 Responses to “The Cunningham Equations”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    “Do you know, I think I’d prefer a mouse.”

  2. Ewan Says:


  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I’m pretty sure that the computer is leering at her.

    Also, something about her pose is off.

  4. SI Says:

    Yep… that’s what you get for programming in Java….

    One for the coding nerds! I’m here all week 😀

  5. Tom Noir Says:

    In the 80’s, this computer was the future! Because obviously in the future, everything will be bigger. Like women’s hair!

  6. Bibliomancer Says:

    Apple’s failed iStick prototype? Needz moar floppy disks.

  7. Phil Says:

    Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty… ant?

    Her PC monitor doesn’t seem very ergonomically positioned. I’m certain that this, and the fact she is being attacked by a giant insect, must have been key factors in the introduction of the Health and Safety (Display Screen Equipment) Regulations 1992.

  8. PulpCovers Says:

    Because 80’s [email protected]: New Book Cover: The Cunningham Equations

  9. Tom Noir Says:

    @Ewan wins the thread. My hat is off to you sir.

  10. Rags Says:

    That modern computer looks alot like Rosey from the Jetsons…

  11. JuanPaul Says:

    “I predict that within 100 years computers will be twice as powerful, 10,000 times larger, and so expensive that only the five richest kings in Europe will own them.” – Professor Frink

  12. Tat Wood Says:

    She’s riding that computer sidesaddle. If only horses came equipped with swivel-chairs a thousand years of inequality could have been averted.

  13. FearofMusic Says:

    “You try to switch over to Google Chrome again and Windows8 will be updating YOU…permanently.”

  14. Adam Roberts Says:

    Happy Days sure went off in a weird direction after Fonzie jumped that shark.

  15. Robbie Says:

    Prototype Light Pen, Mark 1.
    1. Seems unwieldy. Can we make it smaller?
    2. Green colour and weird flanges clash with established computer “beige box” design. I know Design Unit was keen on the asparagus concept, but see if they can try again.

  16. Yoss Says:

    Fine, if nobody else is going to say it, I’ll go ahead and jump on the joke grenade.

    That’s one nasty computer bug!


    Tell my…*gasp* tell my wife I loved h……………………….

  17. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    Chat forums of the future….”Lady, when I say ‘take off your clothes’, I don’t mean your socks!”

  18. Phil Says:

    Yoss SURELY wins the thread. And makes me think that this cover could also be re-used for Norman Spinrad’s BUG JACK BARRON. If Jack Barron was a woman.

  19. fred Says:

    Is she pregnant?

  20. A.R.Yngve Says:

    I agree about the ergonomics… but it would make a great computer for that African tribe where women elongate their necks with bracelets.

  21. A.R.Yngve Says:

    It’s Casual Dress Friday at the office, apparently.

  22. Ian Says:

    Attached keyboards. What will they think of next!

  23. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Great thread. A couple of questions: Who’s getting the “greater intelligence,” so sought after by “thousands,” out of this exchange, the insect or the woman? And if money is the smallest part of the price to pay, what is the greatest? Looking at the cover?

  24. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Maybe the cover was a very early version of those anti-piracy ads?
    “Don’t copy floppy discs because WE KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE…”

  25. Tom Noir Says:

    Don’t copy that floppy!

  26. Bibliomancer Says:

    @B.Chiclitz, the greatest part of the price is not looking at the cover, but perhaps having to read this book.

  27. Stevie T Says:

    “That post made me so angry, I’m going to whack at it with this stick!”

  28. Tom Noir Says:

    So THAT’S what happens when you feed the trolls.

  29. rbour Says:

    I love this blog…

  30. Smith Says:

    In Stephen Hawking type voice:

    “Would… you like… to… play a game?”

  31. Stevie T Says:

    An amazingly accurate depiction of a person attempting to sync their iStick to a Windows-based computer.

  32. Anna T. Says:

    WHEN COMPUTER BUGS KILL – What this book should be called, judging solely by the cover.

    And that computer does not look capable of supporting an AI.

  33. anon Says:

    @Anna T.: Could simply be Eliza with asshole recognition..

  34. Bruce A Munro Says:

    A metaphorical representation of the experience of reading Youtube comments.

  35. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Thousands wanted greater intelligence, some just wanted big hair.

  36. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Mr. xn and I only managed to splutter confused noises almost in unison, then I finally progressed to “what… is… that?”

    Y’know, we’re all assuming it’s an insect leg, but if our old pal DSWBT was right about the computer leering at her, it could be some other appendage. She might be saying “HEY! I know I have a low-cut shirt and it’s cold in here, but no touchy!”

    I might also make a case for the “mullet” tag. And “Haircut 100, Ozone Layer 0.”

  37. Francis Boyle Says:

    Thousands wanted greater intelligence – the rest voted for Trump. So, all in all, a surprisingly prescient piece of SF. And kudos to the artist for putting stormy Daniels on the cover even if the depiction of the appendage is somewhat inaccurate.

  38. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @FB—What, not mushroomy enough?

  39. fred Says:

    If this is ‘Happy Days’ reimagined then I want a Cthulhu Mythos ‘Gilligan’s Island’.

  40. drlemaster Says:

    1986 you say? I never tried cosplaying while playing Bard’s Tale, but I wasn’t nearly as into it as some folks.

    @fred: Gilligan’s R’yleh would be the the greatest sitcom every made, topping even The Pickman Bunch.

  41. Tor Mented Says:

    You know a computer is fast when it has a shotgun air intake from a ’68 Dodge Charger.

  42. B. Chiclitz Says:

    GSSxn’s remark about the leering computer makes me note that, looking at the whole thing below the monitor, it sort of reminds me of Alfred E. Neuman. I think the gap in the keyboard evokes Alfred’s gap-toothed grin, and they both seem to be a little cross-eyed, and leer a bit.

  43. Bruce A Munro Says:

    “And it refused to let go until I bought the penis enlargement kit.”

  44. Tor Mented Says:

    Maybe we have misinterpreted this cover and it actually is about a woman who got mad at 4chan insults about ‘80s hair and bashed in her monitor with a bamboo back-scratcher.

  45. Bibliomancer Says:

    @Tor – I agree this cover has been misinterpreted. But I see it as a woman who likes to snack on an Alaskan King Crab leg while she surfs the internet in her lingerie.

  46. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Bibliomancer—That’s it, you’ve nailed it. I hereby bestow upon you the Alfred E. Neuman Award for Outstanding Sc-Fi Cover Hermeneutics. It was the King Crab leg trope did the trick.

  47. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @fred: I somehow feel I’ve seen or read that.

    @BC: What me web surf?

    @B’mancer: GSS! If a big-haired gal wants to kick back in her negligee and have some fine seafood while perusing CompuServe or Prodigy, by golly, she should.

  48. Francis Boyle Says:

    @B. Chiclitz

    You said what I dared not. And what, thankfully, the artist dared not paint.

  49. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Who the heck is Cunningham, and what do their equations have to do with an insectoid appendage/king crab leg/leering computer?

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