Apr 15

Horse!?! New women even night he has...Click for full image

Joachim Comments: Despite the pluralized ‘horse’ in the title, a naked redhead is far more important to include perched on “top” of the asteroid.
Published 1970

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.60 out of 10)

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49 Responses to “Horses’ Asteroid”

  1. saxonb Says:

    RT @GoodShowSir: New Book Cover: Horses’ Asteroid

  2. THX 1138 Says:

    Are they standing in a hole? I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for all this.

  3. Scott B Says:

    It’s Lady Godiva’s personal modesty asteroid.

  4. SI Says:

    There has gotta be some horse puns… my head just isn’t working this morning…

    I love the look on Horse, “OHHHHH yeah!”

  5. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Pleased with their work, the editors mused:

    “We said ‘ass’ on the cover! Huh-huh, huh-huh…”
    “Heh-heh, heh-heh!”
    “Huh-huh, huh-huh…”
    “Heh-heh, heh-heh!”
    “Huh-huh, huh-huh…”

    Unt so weiter…

  6. Tat Wood Says:

    That’s no moon, that’s a half-melted chess-piece with her off ‘Mad Men’ embedded in it.

  7. Tat Wood Says:

    And some astro-turf.

    or maybe it’s real grass for the Modesty Sheep

  8. Adam Roberts Says:

    I looked at this cover three times, and each time I read its title as Horse Is A Steroid. This may be because I regularly ingest horse in an effort to bulk up my muscles.

  9. Bibliomancer Says:

    Or “Horses’ Ass” as it is commonly referred to in the publishing business.

  10. L.B. Says:

    So this Barbie and chess piece on an intergalactic divot walk into a bar…

  11. Michael Toland Says:

    That cover is so brilliantly horrible I’d probably buy this book without hesitation.

  12. SFRuminations Says:

    — oh the comments, my sides hurt —

  13. SFRuminations Says:

    RT @GoodShowSir: New Book Cover: Horses’ Asteroid

  14. Yoss Says:

    I think this cover qualifies for the Trypophobia Banned Books List. You know, if thrypophobes were united and organized enough to compile a list of literature with unsettling artwork.

  15. Jaouad Says:

    “Listen, honey, I don’t mind the long face, but next time please clip your toenails before we get into asteroid.”

  16. fred Says:

    Looks a little like the troublesome micro-meteorite from the original Andromeda Strain movie, maybe. Even has the green.

  17. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Bibliomancer—note the subliminal support for this *Horse’s Ass* reading in the proliferating “s” sounds of the blurb, but try to avoid thinking about how truly awful that alliterative first line is:
    “A second scintillating collection of satisfying sic-fi. . . .”
    Really, “satisfying”?

  18. JuanPaul Says:

    She has a look on her face like she just realized that she’s trapped on asteroid with a gay horse who has no interest in her.

  19. Herm Says:

    The Horsehead Nebula had to downsize in the wake of the Great Galactic Recession.

  20. Bibliomancer Says:

    @B. Chiclitz – good observation. The blurb is written with a sort of galloping poetic meter – I believe it is called iambic pentathlon.

  21. David Cowie Says:

    What’s happened to the ratings?
    I’ve just noticed that there’s been a big shake-up in the top 15, and that the top rated books have lost about 0.5 of a point.

  22. Bibliomancer Says:

    @David Cowie – with the leaders bunched at the top with a 9.5 score, it is easier to advance your favorites by voting zero on the rival covers.

    I believe there is rampant voter fraud underway and I demand an investigation. I am allowed to repeatedly vote for my favorite bad book cover … and I’ve been deceased for years!

  23. FearöfMusic Says:

    Your own..personal..asteroid. Somewhere to take your horse, your horse of course. Reach out and touch him…

  24. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I’m ridin’ ‘cross the cover on a horse with no game…

  25. Rags Says:

    Damn that asteroid grass, how did it get there??? What do they grow in the space grasss??

    It is blocking a perfectly good sheepy moment.

  26. FearöfMusic Says:

    Hmmmm. Spacegrass, Dodge Swinger, 1973, top down,chassis free…

  27. GSS Admin Says:

    @David Cowie & Biblomancer

    Excellent work Detectives! It seems we had someone, though coming from different addresses, spam the ratings system causing the chaos!

    The bad news is… the plugin I use doesn’t allow me to delete specific ratings, only all of them! So I either set, for example, I Sing the Body Electric back to zero or do nothing.

    Though I could always delete the logs, so everyone would be able to vote again and will keep the current rating. Basically the plugin I use sucks and I should really look at using another.

    I think Biblomancers suggestion of voting zero seems pretty good.

    A boon to you both!

  28. Tom Noir Says:

    I think it’s a sneak attack by someone at Baen Books who wants to make sure that their covers are not mocked but recognized as the masterpieces they truly are!

  29. Yoss Says:

    Is there a way to view more of the covers by rankings? For instance, if I wanted to see the ones lurking just outside of top 15 glory?

  30. GSS Admin Says:

    @Yoss – Why… I’m just working on that very thing! If you notice just above the ratings on the right hand side there is now a link of:

    Click here to see our Top Rated Covers

    That displays all the covers by rating, which you can scroll back through!

    Hopefully I’ll put a few things in the menu bar at some stage. Might need to update my template first though.

    EDIT – Actually just looking at it… it seems to be great for the first 3 pages then it starts throwing random rated covers in after. Man…

  31. Yoss Says:

    Now that’s service right there! Best of luck getting the details sorted out.

  32. David Cowie Says:

    It’s no surprise that the ratings upset was caused by a person or persons unknown spamming the site with low scores, the big question is WHY?

  33. hestia Says:

    I have nothing to add. Just…this website makes me so happy.

  34. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    The Horses’ Asteroid….where clothes are frowned upon.

  35. Jed Clodhead Says:

    Oh boy! I definitely owned this at one time in the dim and distant past but I have no memory of ever reading it, but I do remember it was much heavier than other books of a similar size. What can this mean? I must seek out a copy on E bay and find out….

  36. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:


  37. Anna T. Says:

    @JuanPaul: No, she’s contractually obligated to be in this picture, and she would really rather be absolutely anywhere else.

  38. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Latawnya, the Naughty Horse, Learns to Say ‘No’ to Soliciting For Prostitution

  39. Tom Noir Says:

    Looks like the redhead is…

    hot to trot.

  40. JJYoyo Says:

    Nude Girl and Panto Horse .5 are discovering why the 13th hole is Par 1000000

  41. Bruce A Munro Says:

    “Sure, it’s an efficiency apartment, but it’s got a lawn!”

  42. fred Says:

    Spock has reservations, but Kirk is gung-ho for bringing this wooden horse aboard.

  43. Francis Boyle Says:

    And just like that panto horse threesomes became a thing.

  44. Tat Wood Says:

    Of course! The grass is there to provide life-giving oxygen. We wouldn’t want the streaker and Neddy to die horribly in the harsh vacuum of space, would we?

  45. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Is there actually enough volume in that asteroid for damsel and a real horse (or even a pony) to fit inside it, or are they merely hiding behind it?

    Maybe it’s all just a stage set, where the asteroid is papier-mache, and the woman and 50% of a panto horse are, in fact, standing there, or the whole ensemble is held up by some sort of wiring, descending from overhead, and presumably they will appear BEHIND YOU! of some other actor.

    It was 1970, after all — some sort of Space Age nude absurdist counter-culture panto was probably happening.

    @B’man (way back at #20): GSS. Although they’re taking the horses out of Olympic pentathlon after last year when the German coach punched one of them.

  46. Emster Says:

    Would be cool if there were a teeny-tiny Millennium Falcon scooting out of one of those craters being chased by a hungry exogorth. Sneaky fun altering random GSS covers, anyone?

  47. Bruce A Munro Says:

    The morning after wakeup that brought Lillian to Alcoholics Anonymous.

    @GSS ex-noob: I imagine it’s like the Tardis, Oscar the Grouch’s trash can, and Snoopy’s doghouse: bigger on the inside.

  48. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Bruce: That’s the only logical explanation for the volume problem.* A Tardis-like force field for keeping air in, too, so woman, horse, and grass can survive.

    @Emster: I’d like to see that! It would explain the expression on her face, too.

    *When this is your art’s logical explanation, you have a problem.

  49. Tat Wood Says:

    I think I must have missed this episode of The Clangers.

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