Apr 18

Fought with the same weapons as World War 2... but with soldier monkeys.Click for full image

Jon H Comments: This one caught me off guard, I thought it was just your typical WW 2 book, maybe a little on the Sgt Rock side of reality but then I noticed the monkey and realized it said WW3. Well…I still don’t understand what the monkey is doing. I’m guess it is a part of some para-military group. “If you need help, and you can find them, maybe you can hire…ooh ooh ah ah AH AAAH!!”
Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.65 out of 10)

Tagged with:

43 Responses to “World War III”

  1. SI Says:

    “You have my machine gun!”

    “And my rifle, knife and grenades!”

    “And my poo!”


  2. THX 1138 Says:

    Now Cheeta make war!

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    John Stanley IS The War to End All Wars! Wait, I read that wrong, n/m.

  4. Bibliomancer Says:

    This isn’t a bad cover. It’s just stupid.

    … World War “Aye Yi Yi”

  5. Tat Wood Says:

    Over on the remains of the much-missed ‘Superdickery’ website there is a whole gallery entitled ‘Everything’s Better With Monkeys’. They didn’t discriminate, and had all the higher anthropoids on comic-book covers, often in conflict with Jimmy Olsen or holding up libraries at gunpoint.This is demure and subtle by comparison.

    My main problem with this cover is that it reminds me too much of ‘Daktari’.

  6. FearöfMusic Says:

    This…this is AWESOME!! Can’t even look at it without getting the giggles. So much bizarro goodness. The WWII era G.I. with the bloody bayonet. The Chinese soldier in slippers. The Monkey of War with his ruck. Simian soldiers take no prisoners. Unless they have bananas.

  7. Tom Hering Says:

    If it’s about World War Three, and published in 1976, why are the weapons and uniforms of World War Two or Korean War vintage? Was the artist incapable of doing anything more than copying reference photos?

  8. Jaouad Says:

    What this cover lacks is a dolphin with an implanted drug delivery system.

  9. Bibliomancer Says:

    Cover artist Bruce Minney’s men’s magazine illustrations are beyond awesome:

  10. JuanPaul Says:

    This cover is pure joy. Go, battle monkey!!!

  11. arrroberts Says:

    Couldn’t they have given the monkey a rock or a stick or something?

  12. Adam Roberts Says:

    United in wartime! The Japanese warrior — the American GI — the French cheese-eating surrender m… WAAAIT a minute …

  13. scholler Says:

    RT @ayjay: MONKEY NEED NO STUPID STICK • RT @arrroberts: Couldn’t they have given the monkey a rock or a stick or something?

  14. jordanmposs Says:

    RT @ayjay: MONKEY NEED NO STUPID STICK • RT @arrroberts: Couldn’t they have given the monkey a rock or a stick or something?

  15. fred Says:

    Alas no Laurence Olivier extolling the battle prowess of monkeys.

  16. Tom Noir Says:

    Hey, hey we’re the monkeys! And people say we fought World War III!

  17. FeàrofMusic Says:

    @Bibliomancer: Good link. Those are some truly epic illustrations. Compared to those this cover seems to be a bit mailed in. Oh, nope. Just looked at the mad monkey berserker again.(giggling uncontrollably) This cover ROCKS! Go monkey go!

  18. David Cowie Says:

    I can’t decide whether to give this cover a middling score because it’s not that embarrassing to read in public, or a high score because it’s awesome.

  19. Adz Says:

    Well it does say it’s a spectacular novel so the requirement for a similarly inspired cover was clear

  20. Tom Hering Says:

    The story behind John Stanley’s WWIII is here:

  21. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Viewed up close, the chimp has a truly haunted look on his face, a grim shadowing about the eyes. Might it be because his body as rendered bears absolutely no relation to the body of an actual chimp? Perhaps he is the victim of a cruel transgenic experiment, or maybe they all are.

  22. Rags Says:

    What is battle monkey carrying?

    1. Donkey Kong themed backpark pull of chocolate covered bananas and porno mags?

    2. Bag of poop to fling at captured enemey soldiers………..and friendly soldiers, and heck just about everyone he sees?

    3. The secret recipe for Coca-Cola which he is going to sell to China for prostitutes and a personal groomer (preferrably simian but not mandatory)?

    4. His personal manifesto which contains a requets to change the name of “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” to “Battle Monkey Story” and his life long crusade against the evils of waxing, walking upright and the cosmetics industry?

  23. Phil Says:

    Can it be?
    Am I really the first?
    To suggest. Gorilla warfare?

    I’ll fetch me coat.

  24. FearofMüsic Says:

    @Rags: I vote all the above! He doesn’t need to leave room for ammo.

  25. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Get your stinking paws off my bayonet, you damn dirty ape!”

  26. DaveM Says:

    “The nature of Monkey was irrepressible!”

    A link to the titles and theme in case you didn’t get the series in your part of the world..

  27. Phil Says:

    Despite the derision poor Monkey-face has suffered, he looks as if he has just made a perfectly competent grenade toss. Either that, or he has just bowled a googly at Lords.

    Appropriate terms for the cover itself, perhaps (toss, googly).

  28. infoqueen Says:

    @Phil: Thanks for throwing yourself on the “gorilla warfare” grenade. I thought I was going to have to say it….

  29. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “One day, they pushed Rambonobo too far…”

    Betcha didn’t see that pun coming!

  30. FéarofMusic Says:

    @A.R. Yngwe: Ooh. That’s very good. Upper tier punning for certain.

  31. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    All that’s missing from this cover is to have a giant Chuck Norris with his arms crossed standing behind our trio.

  32. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    Ok, so the main sides to World War 3 are the Japanese, the Americans, and…..the Apes?!!

  33. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    This cover evokes so many emotions in me. But most of all, it makes me want to sing….”Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!”

  34. HappyBookwyrm Says:

    I hope the monkey is on our side. I’m guessing so since it looks like all three…beings…on the cover are running together at an unseen enemy. So who is the American/Chinese/Simian army fighting in WWIII? For fun let’s imagine it’s alien dinosaurs.

  35. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @HappyBkwyrm—or alien Space Cats.

  36. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Stretch your mind a bit… and the “III” in the background becomes a gigantic Super Mario Bros. game monster.

  37. S Wyatt Says:

    I remember reading this one when I was about 13 years old. My mother owned a used book store and I read quite a few obscure genre titles.

    The only memorable thing about this book (35 years later) is one particular scene which was quite … warm …

    For a 13 year old boy, that scene left an indelible impression…and I kept re-reading those pages for several years to come.

  38. THX 1138 Says:

    @S Wyatt: Please tell us that scene didn’t involve the chimp.

  39. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Maybe it involved a . . . Unicorns!

  40. THX 1138 Says:

    Now that really would bring tears to your eyes.

  41. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Curious George, like you’ve never seen him before!”

  42. Perry Armstrong Says:

    “I have come here to throw faeces and kick ass… and I’m all out of faeces!”

  43. L.B. Says:

    Chimps are apparently very brutal in the wild – he might make an effective soldier. Just give him some PG Tipps tea and he’s ready to go!

Leave a Reply