Jun 20

You do... realise... how long it takes for me to trim my eyebrows like this?Click for full image

John C Comments: Yes, I think we have it in a size 12 in puce, let me just check out the back sir.
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.03 out of 10)

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25 Responses to “The Long Arm of Gil Hamilton”

  1. John Collick Says:

    I’m pretty sure that the artist is Peter A. Jones. He did a bunch of covers in the 70s for Orbit. He started off as a Foss clone, and then graduated into unusual figure work.

  2. JuanPaul Says:

    I’m gonna go for the obvious here: there ain’t nothin’ long about that dude’s arm.

  3. Druaightagh Says:

    Never mind the quality, feel the width…

  4. The Tag Wizard Says:

    I do believe you’re right, John – thank you.

    There might not be anything long about Mr Man’s arm, but there sure is something downright strange going on.

  5. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Maybe the title refers to Gil’s LEFT arm, relative to his RIGHT arm.

  6. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Sequels include:

  7. THX 1138 Says:

    Hey, Kurtwood Smith’s been in the gym!

  8. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    LOVE his expression!

    ‘Allo, Salut, sunt eu, un haiduc..’

  9. Tom Hering Says:

    “The piece on my left shoulder is to scratch my nose, the piece on my right shoulder is to rub my nose, and the blanket on my arm is to give my nose a real good blow. Oh, and the crescent-shaped clasp is a sculpting tool. I used it to scrape the blanket and make a sphere out of boogers. Don’t you just love it?”

  10. Rags Says:

    In the future humans all look like circus performers! I love the arm bands, I always hoped this would make a comeback.

    Is he speaking to his bicep??

    “Gil Hamilton to left bicep. Thanks for the good work last night, and for not blabbing to right bicep, its our little secret…”

  11. Tat Wood Says:

    The thing is, this is accurate. Gil had his arm amputated, replaced by a transplant from someone else but his ‘long’ arm (HE’S A COP) is the phantom-limb symptom that he can manipulate as a psychic extension,opening doors from the other side and so on.
    Look, it’s Larry Niven doing ‘hard’ science again.

    (I have a soft spot for this, as it was the first time I knew more than a ‘Mastermind’ contestant about his specialist subject).

  12. Feàröf Music Says:

    This is a book? Oh man. My friend told me this was the cover for Elton John’s long lost (or suppressed) concept album about gay circus performers. And I believed him. Damn you Orntney Bulske!

  13. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @DeadStuff 8—his expression seems oddly similar to that of the petulant little man in back of the Glory Road babe. Do you think they are gazing at the same sights?

  14. Phil Says:

    We might have had this discussion before, but “Larry Niven” is presented here in STAR WARS font.

  15. The Rodent Says:

    Wow,one of my favorite Niven books, in any other cover. LOL.

  16. Bibliomancer Says:

    “Like my stylish attire? It was designed by my architect. Unfortunately he only works in concrete”

  17. Jerk of all Trades Says:

    Ah, so they’re remaking “Planet of the Liefields” again.

  18. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:


    It is a period of Man-Kzin War. Larry Niven, striking from a hidden Baen, has won his first victory against good taste. During the battle, Niven managed to steal secret plans to GSS’ ultimate weapon, the SPACE SHEEP, an armoured censor with enough power to cover an entire mammary. Pursued by the long arm of Gil Hamilton, Gilbert W. Izard races home aboard Evil C. S. Lewis’ Head, custodian of the Patchwork Girl that can save the commenters and restore the mote in God’s eye…

  19. Jed Clodhead Says:

    I think I owned this very edition some twenty five years ago. Was Gil Hamilton (groovy name, eh kids?) some kind of of SF detective with an invisible arm? This may be some kind of false memory but I’m sure these stories really were rubbish.

  20. Adam Roberts Says:

    It’s Gary Glitter! Who, as we now know, is evil.

  21. Rachel J Says:

    @Jed. Looks like you’re right, at least insofar as I can make any sense of the Wikipedia page.

    The book obviously has at least a teeny obsessed cult following, as the article has all the symptoms– too long, too detailed, and far too many links. (You can always tell when a fanboy’s been at a Wiki article because of all the pointless linking he does; don’t ask me why.)

  22. Stevie T Says:

    “I’m too sexy for my cloak
    Too sexy for my hair
    Too sexy for my pointy shoulder pads…”

  23. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    “So, do you think this arm-band hinders the look of my fabulous arm-muscles, or do you think it adds to them?”

  24. Tom Noir Says:

    Of course if he moves from that awkward pose his entire outfit falls apart.

  25. GSS noob Says:

    Ooo, I snapped another terrible cover for this book (which really isn’t bad) today and will send it in, along with more BAEN atrocities.

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