Jul 02

Get your hands off me you damn dirty smoker!Click for full image

Rachel J Comments: To view this cover, be sure to put on your 3-D glasses! Then take them off again to read the book.
Published 2011

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.50 out of 10)

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20 Responses to “Planet of the Apes”

  1. The Tag Wizard Says:

    Moon face! Mooooooon faaaaaaaace!!!

  2. THX 1138 Says:

    Ironically the cover star wouldn’t be able to take advantage of the 3D effect, what with the eyepatch and all.

  3. Tom Hering Says:

    What? No packet of microwave popcorn stuck to the back cover? So no artificially butter-flavored thumbprints on the pages of secondhand copies? I feel doubly cheated.

  4. Rachel J Says:

    @THX. Ah, but he’s not actually missing all that much. The 3D just makes the cover look as if it’s been assembled out of flat cardboard cut-outs.

  5. Phil Says:

    When did Pierre Boulle change his name to Vintage?

  6. Tom Hering Says:

    Why does the “A” in “planet” look like a pair of cast off trousers? Having recently read the novel, I know for a fact that the apes in Boulle’s story don’t run around without their pants on, like the animal characters in a lot of children’s cartoons. What’s up with that, by the way? (I’m looking at you, Donald Duck.)

  7. SI Says:

    Man: We came from space!
    Ape: I don’t believe you… it’s against our religion.
    Man: Well.. there’s my space ship… right there… flying!
    Ape: Uh… that’s… uh… black magic!
    Man: Seriously? …. damn dirty…ape…
    Ape: WHAT did you say!?!
    Man: I said… Damn… dirty… uh.. cape! Your cape is filthy. Yeah….

  8. Bibliomancer Says:

    I want the text to be in 3D also. It would be like a pop-up book with no pictures. The nouns would be at all different distances from each other. The action verbs would jump out at you. And oh those dangling participles.

  9. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Bibliomancer 8—good idea, but the split infinitives would cause serious eyestrain.

  10. Bibliomancer Says:

    @Rachel J — How many enjoyable hours have you spent looking at the 3D cover? If I buy this book I want to make sure the 3D is worth the extra price.

  11. Rags Says:

    “The Marlboro Man” on the Planet of the Apes was slightly altered to appeal to the masses.

    I am hoping for a pic of Ape “Mr Clean” next.

  12. David Cowie Says:

    And the two different pairs of cardboard 3D glasses that I didn’t throw out when I moved house finally come into their own.
    The red/light blue Red Bull pair worked better than the orange/dark blue Channel 4 pair.

  13. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    *blink* Punnett of the Apes?

    Gregor Mendel: ‘Let my people go!…and cross-breed!’
    Barbara McClintock: *simper*

  14. Adam Roberts Says:

    He’s either smoking a cigar or he had his tongue circumcised. I hope to God it’s the first of those two options.

  15. Rachel J Says:

    @Bibliomancer. Unfortunately the 3D is really rather a letdown, in my opinion.

    But you don’t need to take my word for this– just get some 3D glasses and see for yourself!

  16. Tom Noir Says:

    @Rachel – you mean the writing doesn’t leap right off the page??

  17. Jaouad Says:

    Vintage were really creative in keeping costs down when the entire cover run was inadvertently printed with mis-aligned colour separations.

  18. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    Why is it, that if, any species is an eye-patch wearer, then he/she must also smoke cigars?

  19. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Hey! Ape must not subject ape to passive smoking! For it is Ape Law.”

  20. anon Says:

    @Anti-Sceptic, @A.R.Yngve: I think that’s a finger.

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