Sep 11

All he wanted was a unicorn... he had to settle for a girl-a-corn...Click for full image

Wesley Comments: Acorna’s Search, or The Daydreams of Cosplay Fail Girl.
Published 2001

Bonus: dust jacket blurb here!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.32 out of 10)

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40 Responses to “Acorna’s Search”

  1. The Tag Wizard Says:

    Alright – who’s going to buy For all your unicorn search needs.

  2. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    In McCaffrey’s world, the Acornas search for squirrels!

    On second thought, looking at the back cover, do they search for watermelons?

  3. Jaouad Says:

    Poor girl, doomed to a lifetime of dating guys with low foreheads.

  4. Lionrock Says:

    Thunderbirds Are Go!

  5. A.R.Yngve Says:

    All I can think is:

  6. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “He pulled her toward his manly chest, they embraced with violent passion… and her horn bored into his frontal cortex, killing him instantly. In a moment, Acorna’s life was in ruins.”

  7. A.R.Yngve Says:

    But on the bright side, she’ll always be able to find her keys!

    Ba-Da-Bum! Thank you, thank you.

  8. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    If they are at the top of a mountain…then from where is all of that water flowing???

  9. Sarah J Says:

    I’ve read these books. None of the cover artists make a serious attempt to paint the heroine. She has FUR, dammit, on her legs. She has WHITE HAIR, not blond. She does Not Like To Wear Clothes. The horn has a specific placement in the middle of the forehead not the top. Dammit.

  10. Rachel J Says:

    So Acorna and Maati and Aari and all the other Linyaari fight the Khleevi on narhii-Vhiliinyar. Got it.

  11. Bibliomancer Says:

    The Damning with Faint Praise blurb award goes to:

    “Demonstrates the storytelling expertise of co-authors McCaffrey and Scarborough” — Library Journal

  12. THX 1138 Says:

    “Sigh, if only I could find a hat that fitted other than a backwards baseball cap…”

  13. Lulu Says:

    So, I was like.. eh, this cover doesn’t seem all that unusual, I would probably take this on a trai… and then I saw the hoof and burst out laughing. Laughter is my defining criteria for a Good Show, Sir rating. 🙂

  14. Rags Says:

    New Herbal Essence “Acorna” shampoo. Made from the vigrin nectar of the rare lotus blossoms from the exotic Omicron Persei 8.

    Only $8.99, now on sale at Target!

    Flying Watermelons, $15.99 (limit 2 per customers)

  15. Tom Hering Says:

    There being no way the horse and rider could have ascended to the precipice on their own, the blimp ship was kind enough to drop them off. Leaving them with the question, “Now what the hell do we do?” And Acorna, reposed among the flowers, pondered their dilemma with sigh after sigh.

  16. Tom Hering Says:

    @ Sarah J, @ Lulu, Acorna wasn’t the first extraterrestrial female with hooves and furry legs.

  17. Lionrock Says:

    I expect there’ll be a Channel 4 shockdoc on her soon.

  18. fred Says:

    The blurb says she has “funny” feet AND HANDS. I feel ripped off. And they went a little overboard with the double vowels.

  19. Neal Says:

    The tagline is worse than the cover. “The further adventures of the unicorn girl.”


  20. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Separated at birth? One chose to live free and wild, one hid her horn beneath a TING! and lived among the non-unicorn people.

  21. Phil Says:

    So far, I see just one hoof (out of four available limbs, I presume). Nature can be so cruel sometimes.

    I wonder if she ever met our old friend:

  22. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Neal: Maybe that’s an incomplete tag line.

    ‘The further adventures of the unicorn girl took her to solid ground, where she could stand up for once in her life.’

  23. FěaröfMüsic Says:

    That isn’t her hoof. It belongs to the unicorn who has driven his horn through the back of her skull, the tip of which now protrudes from her forehead. Explains the look on her face, doen’t it? The bulk of his body is hidden by those flowers, her, and her hair.

  24. A.R.Yngve Says:

    ACORNA’S SEARCH For Prada Horseshoes

  25. Jerk of all Trades Says:

    Yikes. If this cover art were trying any harder to be girl-targeted, it would have spontaneously morphed into a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper by now.

  26. Rachel J Says:

    @JoaT. Well, at whom *should* they be targeting a series about a beautiful magic space princess “descended from what can be considered Unicorns”?

  27. Jerk of all Trades Says:

    @Rachel. Oh my, now that is just… I don’t even

    Holy crap. This was written for adults?

  28. Stevie T Says:

    Ohhhh, so that’s what a case of “narwhals upon the vestry” looks like! Okay, got it!

  29. Karl Says:

    That’s a good piece of art. It has good composition, perfect anatomy, and good (if a little green) colour usage. There’s too much text on the front, but that’s not the artists fault, more the authors preference would be my guess. It’s a poor choice for a website devoted to putting down bad cover art. This isn’t an example of it.

  30. Tag Wizard Says:

    Hi Karl, welcome to Good Show Sir – or to its comments section at least!

    You are of course quite right, it is by no means the most cacophonous of covers. In fact, like many others shown, the technical skill on display is excellent.

    But there’s something about the hoof that gets me every time.

  31. FěaröfMüsic Says:

    @Karl: Not bad cover art sir, but bad ‘covers’. There is a distinct difference. The artwork is very well executed indeed. However, as a means of selling the book, well, even though I enjoy reading this author, I recall seeing this in a bookstore and upon looking at the cover thinking ‘Not this time’.

  32. Ken Shinn Says:

    “Prancy Pants Unicorn, Pretty Pants Unicorn, Fancy Pants Unicorn!”

  33. Tom Noir Says:

    Would it be impertinent to ask where the unicorn ends and the girl begins?

  34. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Tom: goodness, no. That’s why it’s called ‘Acorna’s Search’. If it were called ‘Acorna’s Right to Privacy’, that would be a different matter entirely.

  35. RachelJ Says:

    Space Morning Glory!

  36. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The sequel about a snail-girl with a giant single, slimy foot flopped.

  37. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Dude Unicorn 1: Haaaaaay, now that’s what I call a well-turned ankle!

    Dude Unicorn 2: Quiet, you horny bastard! Can’t you see she’s sighing?

  38. A.R.Yngve Says:

    ACORNA Gets Stuck On A Cupboard In Her Kitchen
    ACORNA Ruins Another Bedroom Pillow
    ACORNA Searches For A Cap With A Hole In Front
    ACORNA Pays Injury Compensation To Another Hairdresser

    ACORNA… I can do this all day.

  39. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Update: it seems the lady in the background is pursuing a new career.

  40. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Shouldn’t someone named Acorna be a tree girl?

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