May 22

Being a werewolf is so stressful... do you know how many clothes I go through?Click for full image

Rachel and Thomas comment: In the book, the cover girl struggles with anxiety, depression, an estranged family, substance abuse, an eating disorder, self-harming, fits of violence, illiteracy, poor self-esteem, and the titular lycanthropy. It is just plain cruel to make her poorly drawn as well.
Published 2014

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.08 out of 10)

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32 Responses to “The Anxiety of Kalix the Werewolf”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    Anxiety sounds a bit mild for a werewolf. I suggest the disgruntlement or the inconvenience. Of flyaway hair.

  2. A.R.Yngve Says:

    I know what you’re all thinking: “My kid could draw that.”
    Wrong! Your kid is much more talented than that! How dare you undermine your child’s self-esteem!

  3. Tag Wizard Says:

    Huh, Martin’s a good writer and both North American and British publishers are subsidiaries of pretty significant independents (Perseus and Little Brown). The book’s content has me intrigued but you have to say that this cover deviates wildly from the feel of the UK’s Piaktus cover art.

    Also his Twitter feed tells us that he plays games of the video variety and should probably join our secret Steam group.

    Anyway, hello. Good to have GSS back for however long! <:)

  4. NCB Says:

    Wow, looking at the Piaktus cover art makes this one look like crap.

    Why didn’t the publisher use the Piaktus cover in the US as well?

  5. L.B. Says:

    You know, if it hadn’t been for the fact this girl’s a werewolf, I would have assumed I was on Awful Library Books and it was Teen Week or something.

  6. Rags Says:

    Dang I would stay in werewolf form all the time, turning into Courtney Love above is WAY worse!

  7. FeârofMüsic Says:

    Being killed by a lycanthrope is a fate worse than death. A fate that is worse than a fate worse than death would be to be killed by an emo lycanthrope. A fate that would be worse than a fate worse than a fate worse than death would be to get killed by a poorly drawn emo lycanthrope.
    I’d imagine this going over quite well with the goth crowd though. The only thing sadder than severe depression and mental illness is cursed and hellborn severe depression and mental illness.

  8. Bibliomancer Says:

    Is this a comic book put out by Pfizer to market Z-o-l-o-f-t to teen werewolves?

  9. Bibliomancer Says:

    @GSS Admin — when I typed Z-o-l-o-f-t without hyphens I got a FORBIDDEN screen and my comment would not go through.

    Do you realize you have server problems?

  10. fred Says:

    Does the long hair go along for the ride when she weres?

  11. Chinese GSS Says:

    @Bibliomancer — on our website it is forbidden to post comments without a reference to a popular prescription drug.

  12. Tat Wood Says:

    ‘Soft Skull Press’. If you press a soft skull it gets messy.

  13. B. Chiclitz Says:

    The edition that Tag Wizard links us to tells us to “Meet Kalix MacRinnalch—she’s a werewolf with attitude . . .” I dunno, is that so special? I mean, have you ever met a werewolf that didn’t have “attitude”? Seems unavoidable, what with the hair and claws and moon and such.

    That’s probably why Z-o-l-o-f-t is such a big part of the werewolf underground club scene.

  14. Kwyjor Says:

    I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve seen that image somewhere before, possibly in a collection of 90’s vector clipart.

    Goodness knows the lycanthropy-as-puberty-analogy has been done just a couple of times.

  15. GSS Admin Says:

    @Bibliomancer – We’re sorry! And that’s just the type of drug we’d want with all these server problems we’ve been having!

  16. RachelJ Says:

    Clearly this is meant to be the heroine’s self-portrait on deviantArt.

  17. Tom Noir Says:

    The GSS commenting restrictions could present problems for the inevitable post on my upcoming pulp sci-fi novel (NOW IN PAPER BACK FOR THE FIRST TIME!). In this thrill-packed joyride, our hero L-E-V-I-T-R-A must escape the brutal legions of X-A-N-A-X before they destroy his home world of L-I-P-I-T-O-R by kidnapping the warlord’s beautiful daughter V-I-A-G-R-A! But when he starts to fall for her, will she sell him out to the cannibalistic Z-O-C-O-R?

  18. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Tom Noir – I think Z-O-C-O-R’s consort is named “C. Alice.”

  19. Kripslod Says:

    I’ve missed you all, and we’ll never be parted again – never! Ha ha! Never do you hear me – Never!

    I think it might be safe to say welcome back, GSS

  20. GSS Admin Says:

    Right, if it breaks again it’s because Kripslod jinxed it! 😛

    EDIT – Sorry I should of said, when it breaks again!

  21. Tat Wood Says:

    Actually, you should have said ‘should have said, when it breaks again’.

  22. FeârofMüsic Says:

    @Tat Wood:Good catch! An educated person communicating in their native tongue wouldn’t make such a slip. However, an imposter whose first languageis , say, Cantonese might. Is this really our GSS? Or are we also victims of the Chinese military’s hhacking campaign?

  23. Jeff Vader Says:

    Don´t miss the other exciting installments in this series!

    “The Vague Sense of Unease of Kalix the Werewolf”

    “The Slowly Building Depression of Kalix the Werewolf”

    “The Sudden Panic Attack of Kalix the Werewolf”

    “The Skewed Self Perception of Kalix the Werewolf”

    “The Borderline Diagnosis of Kalix the Werewolf”

  24. RachelJ Says:

    @Jeff Vader. Well, in that case “Martin Millar” must be a pseudonym of Christopher Stasheff. (“The Warlock Enraged/Insane/Intoxicated etc, etc…”)

  25. Jeff Vader Says:

    @RachelJ: That could very well be… Although there´s a profound lack of smoke related adversaries on this particular cover.

  26. Tat Wood Says:

    How’s she doing that with her right wrist?

  27. Rev Says:

    I could have drawn this. If someone had asked me to, and I worked really hard on it for a week, I would have ended up with something that looks like this.
    Which is to say it is awful.

  28. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Does anyone else find the new Stormtrooper helmets ‘meh’?

  29. Kripslod Says:

    @Dead Stuff With Big Teeth. When it happens in a chain of comments do they still call it an anacoluthon? Also, please specify who has changed their helmets. Stoßtruppe (German Realm during WWI), misunderstood loyal lackeys in current science fiction movie franchise, or obscure reference to American Civil War, Paraguayan War, Arditi, Red Army, or Yugoslav Partisans?

  30. anon Says:

    @DSWBT: Well, IMO the fake dreadlocks aren’t what the Stormtroopers should be about.

  31. Anna T. Says:

    Her hair looks like it’s made of clay. Reminds me of an art project I did in elementary school.

  32. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Face of the typical American 20-year-old on Election Day.

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