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May 29

I am deeply... and I can't stress how deeply... unimpressed!Click for full image

Book Wench Comments: Couldn’t you wait until I was, like, fully centred before you took my picture? (Yes it’s about a belligerent teenage vampire.)
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.92 out of 10)
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28 Responses to “The Partaker”

  1. Bibliomancer Says:

    WTF, indeed.

  2. THX 1138 Says:

    [trebuchet not pictured]

  3. Tom Noir Says:

    I am glad that the cover spells out that this is fantasy and not, for instance, historical fiction.

  4. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Tom: plenty of folk at my school thought H. P. Lovecraft wrote historical fiction. 🙁

    The background shows this is set in Derbyshire. Appropriate, as everything on the cover SUCKS.

  5. Noel Says:

    Aww, I think he’s cute.

  6. Noel Says:

    This guy’s cute as well.

    http://img1.fantasticfiction.co.uk/images/t0/t3759.jpg

  7. fred Says:

    I would have guessed Keynesian Economics instead of Fantasy.

  8. Tat Wood Says:

    I wonder about that subtitle: “A novel of fantasy” suggests that rather than being fantasy per se it’s about fantasy. Maybe this is a fearless expose of what David Eddings got up to on signing tours.

  9. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Why does he wear a bottu, anyway? Is he a South Asian sulky vampire teen?

  10. A.R.Yngve Says:

    FOR THE GLORY OF THE GAME
    A Story Of Fantasy
    By Sep Blatter

  11. Anna T. Says:

    WTF . . . if that’s a vampire, I’m the Queen of England. That is an extremely poorly rendered human-bat hybrid with the head of Dracula.

  12. Book Wench Says:

    *starts humming Kate Bush’s “Wuthering Heights”*

  13. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Did the vampire fly too close to a bunch of seaweed…???

  14. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The cover that says “Go away. I despise you.”

  15. Jeff Vader Says:

    His upper body is at least obviously vampiric – pale skinned, fanged bat-human hybrid. The bottom half however clearly has a bumblebee origin.

  16. anon Says:

    It looks like a rewrite of The Fly with a Hindu vampire as the protagonist.
    That’s fairly novel, all right.

  17. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Yes, it’s supposed to be a foreshortened wing. But it looks like a horrid, over-grown ear.

  18. Bibliomancer Says:

    @anon “help me!”

  19. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    What if you could fly wherever you liked, whenever you wanted, at jet-air speeds…but this fellow had to stay within earshot the whole time?

    ‘Boston, huh? Cool. I want to go to Boston. Do you know what the Salem witch trials were? That was SO COOL. I’ve been reading a whole big book about witches. Do you know, witches would dance around out-doors TOTALLY NAKED? That is SO cool. I would pay, like, all the money I have just to see that…’

  20. Stevie T Says:

    I have no legs and I must…sulk?

  21. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Bela Lugosi’s dud.

  22. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    He looks like the kind of fellow who would snarl himself all up in ladies’ hairdos and then blame his ‘radar’.

  23. B. Chiclitz Says:

    “Ever wonder how bats poop on the wing? Well, get ready cuz I’m gonna show you!”

  24. fred Says:

    He needs a theme song.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu8WP-Se90w&list=PL89Sygaj3zlF_aS6Eo7YwfnqGHsVpXxDy&index=12

  25. GSS ex-noob Says:

    He’s partaking of the patience of everyone who has to put up with him.

    I’m hoping this was self-published and R. C-H (such a British name!) didn’t hornswoggle some publisher out of cash.

    (googles)

    No such luck.

    Although it appears that the publisher didn’t have much cash judging by the hiring of this UAI grad.

    I daresay this cover was discreetly ignored before they gave him the Stoker
    award.

    @fred: Speaking of that, there’s a new-ish brand of fizzy water yclept AHA, so one guess as to what song I end up humming as I make my way through the supermarket. (It’s from Coca-Cola, so it has prominent placement everywhere)

  26. THX 1139 Says:

    RCH was a prolific writer of horror who is possibly the only horror writer to be played by a horror star, as John Carradine was “him” in The Monster Club (based on his stories).

  27. Tor Mented Says:

    To me, it looks like he’s grumpy because he hasn’t gotten the hang of it yet and keeps flying backward.

  28. Bruce A Munro Says:

    “I’m still working on transformations, ok? Stop laughing!”

    Really, it’s not as bad as the time he took off his clothes to turn into a wolf and only succeeded from the waist up.

    Why the emphasis on fantasy? Maybe they thought it would sell better marketed as fantasy rather than horror? Or maybe it’s vampires AND elves and witches and unicorns.

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