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May 04

Blood autumn ... now flavoured with pumpkin spice!Click for larger image

JuanPaul Comments: Would August’s prize happen to be blood? Or lips? Or bloody lips?

Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.00 out of 10)
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Jun 27

The only vampire to die tragically choking on someone else's vomit. Click for full image

JaunPaul’s Art Direction: So what we’re looking for is a portrait of the protagonist that makes the reader want to punch the book in the face. Can you handle that?
Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.61 out of 10)
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Mar 21

Let me see your war face!Click for full image

Perry Comments: Not to be confused with Jean Rollin’s infamous librarian vampire movies.
Published 1997

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.88 out of 10)
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May 29

I am deeply... and I can't stress how deeply... unimpressed!Click for full image

Book Wench Comments: Couldn’t you wait until I was, like, fully centred before you took my picture? (Yes it’s about a belligerent teenage vampire.)
Published 1980

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.92 out of 10)
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Apr 13

Death by stereo! Click for full image

Dead Stuff with Big Teeth Comments: Starring…the Gangam Style guy?
Published 1991

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.67 out of 10)
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Jul 02

Don't want to crop this picture... love the potted plant!Click for full image

Alexandria and kinda John Comment: My friend and I love your site. So many fun times.
Published 2013

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 9.03 out of 10)
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Sep 11

One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach, all the damn sexy sexy vampires.Click for full image

Jaouad’s Art Direction: Vampires? Look, I don’t care what it’s about, just give me a lingerie model, I want boobs. Oh, and a sword.
Published 2007

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.44 out of 10)
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Jan 23

Well... At least they don't sparkle at Vampire Junction!Click for full image

Art Direction: We all know the one thing vampires suffer from. Bighanditis! What do you mean that isn’t a thing? Of course it’s a thing, a vampire thing! Look it says right here in the book of ‘Your Pay Check’! Now, just draw some kid, in a cloak, looking like he should be in a broadway musical. And make his hands BIG!
Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.29 out of 10)
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Oct 12

COFFEE!! I need some, can't think of a caption today. New neighbours that have moved in with horrific faces? Ah who cares. COFFEE!!Click for full image

Alessandra Comments: I think they were going for a cutting-edge symbolic look, some sort of classical reference to alchemical historical scholarship. But they just look goofy. Oh god, that eye.
Published 1976

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.07 out of 10)
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Sep 02

That's a number 3 upper left 4 and fangs lower 3 in the 2.Click for full image

Farquarson Comments:I don’t know what bothers me more–the artwork or the title. I hate shots from inside someone’s mouth; it reminds me of the, “Dentist” scene from Little Shop of Horrors. On the other hand, calling your book “Sucks & Blows” is an absolute GIFT to any critic worthy of the name.
Published 2011

Extra points go to the photo of a computer screen! Thanks Farquarson!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.13 out of 10)
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