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Nov 08

Pretty Young Things

20 Comments »

Fang Fic

Max Bathroom comments: “I think the best way to sell a vampire story is to make it look like a novelisation of a videogame…”

Published 2006

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.56 out of 10)
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Oct 12

Challenge to Dracula

18 Comments »

Eddie Munster, the later yearsClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: Dracula was told he would look prettier if he smiled more.

Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.89 out of 10)
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Feb 06

The Drums of Dracula

27 Comments »

I vant to ... play you a solo!Click for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: Count Dracula: The Voodoo Vampire!

Thanks Linda for sending this in.

Published 1974

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.85 out of 10)
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Oct 14

The Dracula Tape

20 Comments »

Yeah. This sucks.Click for larger image

Alessandra Kelley Comments: I recall Saberhagen’s book, which I read in the 1980s, to be a not-at-all-bad retelling of Bram Stoker’s “Dracula” from the pov of Dracula himself. While the book has a certain dry wit and self-aware sense of humor, it is not, as this 1975 first edition cover might suggest, a wacky goofball comedy precursor to “What We Do In The Shadows.”

Special bonus interior cigarette ad because 1975.

Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.58 out of 10)
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Dec 17

Keeper of the King

18 Comments »

'...sucking ... told in ... prose ...' -- Publishes WeaklyClick for larger image

The Bookkeeper Comments: Orlando Bloom stars as Legolas Lestat in a new vampire/elf mash-up.

Published 1998

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.14 out of 10)
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Dec 10

Italian Megapost

12 Comments »

It's a Fiat. It's not going anywhere.Click for larger image

The Grim Reaper busts some moves!Click for larger image

You're lookin' good, Cy Clops!Click for larger image

The Italian X-Men unleash their superpowers.Click for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: “Urania” (Italian for “Your Ass!”) is a science fiction magazine that has been around forever and apparently is still in business. So I guess we could call this an Italian Honourable Mentions as well as an Italian Megapost. Anyway, have at it, and divertiti!

Uno. Wait until he discovers you have to put your feet through the floorboards to drive it away.

Due. Say ciao to my little friend!

Tre. At least this solves my unibrow problem.

Quattro. They call me Signore Spock.

Published 1955, 1958, 1959, 1960

Thanks to Armando for sending these in!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.33 out of 10)
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Feb 19

Greek Mega Post

10 Comments »

Bibliomancer went to Greece and GSS didn’t even get a lousy tau-shirt. But we did get a bunch of terrible Greek book covers. I’ll turn this post (and week) over to him:

I come from Greece bearing gifts! So don’t look a Trojan Horse in the mouth. Athens has a big chain store called “Public” which is a combination of  Barnes & Noble and  Best Buy with a whole large floor of new books in Greek and English. Athens also have a few “charming” used book stores in some of the older neighborhoods. Here’s the inside view of one of them:

View of the headless Greek bookseller

So here are some terrible covers, Greek-style. Sorry, but we will have to skip the authors, cover artists and publication dates. Be kind to Tag Wizard:

Do surfers dream of aquatic sheep?Click for larger image

Bibliomancer Comments:

1. Rising sea levels were not kind to Venice.

 

Browsing Tinder on MarsClick for larger image

2. Who knew Ghandi collected Barbies?

 

Squawk!Click for larger image

3. Black Hawk up, Black Hawk down!

 

I assume Jeremy Cherfas is on the rightClick for larger image

4. Ce n’est pas un primate.

 

Is that you, Grandpa Munster?Click for larger image

5. Dracula in the language Prince Vlad would have understood.

 

Published whenever

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.26 out of 10)
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Feb 11

Monster Hunter Alpha

27 Comments »

I'm confused. Who's the Monster? Who's the Hunter?Click for full image

Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Comments: To their surprise, it was Gerald’s father who insisted on chaperoning, not Nadine’s.
Published 2011

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.93 out of 10)
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Sep 11

The Wicked

13 Comments »

One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach, all the damn sexy sexy vampires.Click for full image

Jaouad’s Art Direction: Vampires? Look, I don’t care what it’s about, just give me a lingerie model, I want boobs. Oh, and a sword.
Published 2007

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.15 out of 10)
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Feb 11

Hungarian Mega Post

18 Comments »

This covers have all been sent in by River and I thought they might all make an excellent mega post. Thanks very much to River who has also provided some information about each!

I'm way too happy to be jumping over a M!Click for full image

Contains 100 short stories by Hungarian authors.
Published 2003

My right arm is huge! My left... not so much.Click for full image

This third hardcover reissue contains two novels written by a Hungarian author under English pseudonym. Writing fantasy and science fiction stories under English pen names was very popular in the 90s. And many readers really thought that these writers are from abroad.
Published 1999

At least it doesn't feckin' sparkle!Click for full UNSHEEPED image

Translating the Hungarian title to English was also a strange tradition in these books just like the English pen names for Hungarian writers. You can read inside that, A szellemlt, means, The Spiritseer. Hardcover.
Published 2005

That's cheating! No hydraulics allowed!Click for full image

j Galaxis is a science fiction magazine published twice a year in Hungary. Guess which years product is this one. 1988? You slipped twenty years. This issue is only three years old.
Published 2008

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.22 out of 10)
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