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Apr 11

It's a small step from shiny to shitty

Ryan comments: The cover of “Fool’s Run” was so shiny that I took it into the bathroom and tried to photograph it in the dark. No luck, it was either almost unviewable because it was too shiny, or else it was eclipsed by the darkness; there was no middle ground.

You might remember this from here.

Published 1988

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.11 out of 10)
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Aug 01

The mother of all embossingClick for larger image

JuanPaul Comments: I angled the book so you all could see the triumphant embossing.

Published 1993

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.92 out of 10)
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Dec 01

Hipster cat people are the worstClick for larger image

Jonathan Comments: Ever wondered why cats’ breath smells?

You might remember this from here.

Published 1983

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.42 out of 10)
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May 20

This tramp has a stamp front and backClick for larger image

Ryan Comments: Even with dogged persistence, I could not get this cover to photograph well, as it was so very shiny.

Check out the wraparound cover.

Published 2001

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.94 out of 10)
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Apr 06

The cover artist runed this book for meClick for larger image

Ryan Comments: We three kings of Orient are,
Wielding edged weapons,
And a green star.

Published 1999

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.00 out of 10)
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Dec 22

Use Google Chrome for maximum viewing pleasureClick for larger image

Wendy Comments: She’s acting tough pretending she didn’t just set her left hand on fire.

Published 1999

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.09 out of 10)
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Dec 02

Cult ClassicClick for larger image

JuanPaul Comments: It’s what David Miscavige sees when he looks in a mirror.

Published 1988

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.25 out of 10)
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Aug 09

Is assTing! a Thing!?Click for larger image

Mosquito Wenzi Comments: Why wouldn’t you wear a gown and high-heels to a sword fight when all the Ting will surely blind your enemies anyway?

Published 2008

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.87 out of 10)
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May 01

Murky Murk and the Funky BunchClick for larger image

RachelJ Art Direction: “This is no ordinary novel. Not even a “A Novel”. This is… “A MOSAIC”. I want every element of the cover– title, subtitle, font, artwork– to blend harmoniously into one vast, resounding “WTF”.

Do it justice, my boy.”

[Note: It’s not my camera. The cover image is just really, really dark and murky and it’s hard to tell what anything is.]

Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.80 out of 10)
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Jul 17

Hey, my guns are up hereClick for larger cleavage

Kat’s Art Direction: “Okay, you’ve used the front of her shirt to make shoulder pads and recycled the scraps to make some useless pouches. Good work. But you know what this cover needs? What it really, really needs? … SHINIER LETTERING.”

Published 2004

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.89 out of 10)
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