Jul 17
Kat’s Art Direction: “Okay, you’ve used the front of her shirt to make shoulder pads and recycled the scraps to make some useless pouches. Good work. But you know what this cover needs? What it really, really needs? … SHINIER LETTERING.”
Published 2004
(Average: 6.70 out of 10)
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July 17th, 2017 at 11:08 am
Apparently Clyde Caldwell has one favorite live model.
July 17th, 2017 at 12:16 pm
@B’mancer: tell us something we hadn’t guessed already. 😉
July 17th, 2017 at 12:27 pm
A Liefeldian caricature, tapping the mid-90s zeitgeist like a Magic Colon The Gathering card.
July 17th, 2017 at 1:45 pm
It’s Jenna’s War we’re more interested in, right lads? Phwoar, eh? Lads? Er, lads? Anyone?
July 17th, 2017 at 2:18 pm
@THX: you got there ahead of me. But it’s saying something that late 70s BBC space-opera garb is less embarrassingly dated than this 90s retro ensemble.
July 17th, 2017 at 2:22 pm
Looks like the would-be photo-documentarian of this cover has fallen victim to the Baen Effect. That’s when even powerful, ultra-modern digital cameras are somehow unable to capture a decent picture of the subject.
Baen covers are like solar eclipses. You can’t look directly at them or you (or your camera) will go blind.
July 17th, 2017 at 3:11 pm
Looking closely at the shoulder stock, it appears this gun fires crayons. Fifty bucks a box?
July 17th, 2017 at 3:16 pm
Shoulders are a logical place to carry boob armor when not in use, but there seems to have been a mistake in sizing.
July 17th, 2017 at 4:45 pm
Was the artist’s model also wearing a microphone headset? Was she multitasking and running her live phone sex job on the side while Clyde was painting her?
July 17th, 2017 at 4:56 pm
It’s a not-very-funny running gag in the Cally series that she’s stuck with a huge-boobed biosculpt because her covert ops cell lost its access to the biosculpt tech while she was off on a mission impersonating someone who had (“naturally” of course) a pornstar body. This goes on for like three books.
July 17th, 2017 at 5:03 pm
@Raoul—her live phone sex job on the side
Just think of the possibilities . . . .
“Hey big boy, welcome to Cally’s War, the ultimate erogenous experience. You’re talking to Cally, the Cleavage Queen. Want to penetrate my armor? explore my missile defense shields? remove my smoky glasses to see the vapid pools beneath? I’m wearing a dog collar and I can be leashed to you, whenever you want. Just send me a box of .50 caliber crayons and I’m yours, for 30 minutes.”
July 17th, 2017 at 5:16 pm
She’s looking at the world through Baen-colored glasses. Everything is exploding and wrapped in foil.
July 17th, 2017 at 5:52 pm
@JuanPaul: I’ve always thought Baen had a lot in common with an inexpertly microwaved burrito.
July 17th, 2017 at 6:30 pm
@Tom Noir: You can look at a solar eclipse in totality just fine. It’s while it’s not in totality that you can’t. I think you meant to compare Baen covers to the Sun, in terms of going blind.
Since this woman is allegedly a soldier or something, why oh why doesn’t she wear something that her breasts won’t fall out of?
Answer: because sex “sells”, baby! *eye roll*
July 17th, 2017 at 7:20 pm
@ B Chiclitz – Just call 1-800-CALLY-FONE-YA and speak to a live big-titted Sci-Fi cover girl!*
*Cover girl art for demonstration purposes only. May not represent you actual phone partner.
July 17th, 2017 at 7:52 pm
@Raoul—”May not represent your actual phone partner.“
July 17th, 2017 at 8:30 pm
@ B Chiclitz I am so not clicking on that while at work.
July 17th, 2017 at 8:42 pm
@JuanPaul—or on the bus, I wager.
July 17th, 2017 at 10:45 pm
I clicked it and I got a promotion!
Now I’m a homeless drifter!
July 17th, 2017 at 11:20 pm
@yoss warm on the outside and slightly frozen on the inside or boiling lava hot?
(With credit to Jim Gaffigan)
July 18th, 2017 at 12:35 am
“Ms. Cochrane? Julie, baby! This is your editor. Good news, bad news. The good news is that I’ve just seen the cover art for Cally’s Raw and it’s perfect! The bad news is that there was a mis-print in the title. It’s now Cally’s War. We’ve got to add some war somehow, Julie. Whaddaya say to another co-authorship with John? Cool with that? Julie, you’re the best!”
July 18th, 2017 at 1:13 am
@David Van Domelen: you’ve read this – is there actually a Stargate connection or is the artist just slamming together any skiffy images he can think of?
July 18th, 2017 at 10:06 am
Let’s see
-enormous gun
-large-breasted babe in improbable sexy outfit
-eye-melting shininess
-font with generous application of Photoshop Layer FX
-title includes “war”
-“New York Times Bestseller”
-“John Ringo”
Hmmn. I’m afraid I can’t give this a perfect score due to lack of
-explosions
-cat people
-inane blurb
-suspiciously fragmentary review quote
A worthy effort, though! Good show, Baen!
July 18th, 2017 at 11:16 am
I’ll have you know THX 1138 some of us we’re actually on team Cally.
July 18th, 2017 at 1:28 pm
Cally’s war against????
July 18th, 2017 at 1:50 pm
@FB: At least you didn’t say Orac.
July 19th, 2017 at 2:40 am
Oi! I sent this one in around Xmas!
And yes, as with many offerings from BAEN!automatic gunfire, it’s impossible to get a clear photo because of THE SHINY.
@Rachel J: Baen really needs its own scale, which starts at about 8 on this one and then goes up logarithmically or exponentially.
Perhaps our old pal Jennifter could obtain us a Bachelor of Science to figure it out.
July 19th, 2017 at 6:54 pm
Does that say
John Ringo 6
as one of the authors? Kinda like the actor listings in IMDB – Jim Bullock(2), etc.
July 19th, 2017 at 7:53 pm
@Hammy—maybe it’s like the Borg. Six of nine, four of Seven, and so on. It appears these books are written collectively at any rate.
August 18th, 2020 at 1:02 am
John Ringo 6, Julie Cochrane er…4 and a half?