Jan 20

As hard as I try I just can't get leather cat suits that accommodate my ridiculous chest!Click for full image

You know what all guns should have? Large magazine, maybe. Insanely large silencer on the end, possibly. A leather clad busty blonde, you’re almost there. Nope? All guns should have a guitar hero controller. When wouldn’t you want to stop fighting and starpower some AC/DC?!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.30 out of 10)

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20 Responses to “Sister Time”

  1. CSA Says:

    I wouldnt take that on a train, and not because its a cheesy cover (but it would be a contributing factor) but just for the consideration of other passangers and the continued enjoyment of having eyesight… “holy ridiculous cover Batman, thats shiny!”

    I also note that once again, only her shoulders are armoured… that’ll protect her…

  2. SI Says:

    Now now, her belt looks pretty heavily fortified too!

  3. Sem Says:

    Chicks with guns f*** yeah!!


  4. simon Says:

    Note to publisher: having a female co-author does not make this amount of cleavage acceptable.

    And why does she have the exhaust from a 1985 Ford Fiesta stuck on the end of her plastic M16?

  5. Adam Roberts Says:

    Ah, a novelty rifle-shaped hair drier! The perfect gift for a lady!

  6. SI Says:

    It could just be a thing to keep her pack-lunch in. It’s a gun and can hold a chicken and bacon sub. Who wouldn’t want it.

  7. Nix Says:

    Hah. That’s nothing. for reasons entirely incomprehensible to me, my edition of Frank Herbert’s so-so _The Jesus Incident_ had a completely naked woman on the front in a vaguely Christ-like pose (threatened by creatures looking like a cross between a pterodactyl and a skull: a shame that the only flying creatures on Pandora were also the only things around that *weren’t* lethal, oops). Here (very much NSFW).

  8. CSA Says:

    Nix… awesome cover… its both vaguely sacrilegious and has a naked chick, meets with my approval. But if only she had shoulderpads and a novelty gun aswell….

    (btw i had to click even though you said NSFW, was worth the risk)

  9. SI Says:

    Hahah excellent cover Nix. Wonder if the Jesus Incident has a similar story to the cover posted today, Behold the Man.

  10. Roses Says:

    I’m sure Freud would have something to say about the size of that gun.

    Mind you, with breasts like those, you’d think she wouldn’t have any compensation issues.

  11. CSA Says:

    They’re fake.

  12. Nix Says:

    SI: No, it’s a sequel to _Destination: Void_, sharing one and a half characters in name but not in personality. Lunatic starship decides to use pet expendable humans to colonize planet populated entirely by monsters to teach them something obscure about the nature of free will or something which Herbert obviously thinks is very important but never actually says.

    _Behold the Man_ is a seriously excellent story; the sort of story that blasphemy laws were invented to stop, the most specifically anti-Christian story I can recall: give it to your pet fundie with a boring cover on it and watch his head burst.

  13. porp Says:

    I think that the huge boobage might actually part of the plot – the character was born and grew up athletic and with modest breasts. As part of a covert operations gone wrong, she was stuck in a disguise body and unable to regain her original one. Throughout this and subsequent novels, she constantly complains about the ridiculous breasts and how awkward, uncomfortable, and performance* limiting they were.

    *professional assassination

  14. porp Says:

    CSA: well, they’re “fake” but someone else’s “real.”

  15. Dave Van Domelen Says:

    And this here is one of the big advantages of buying the eBook edition. I got to see the cover art WITHOUT the massive shiny.

  16. Ilya Chentsov Says:

    And here it is with all the details that somehow didn’t make it on the cover:
    The Continuing Adventures of the Girl with the Guitar Hero Gun:

  17. Ilya Chentsov Says:

    Oh, and here’s an unpublished version:
    So, a normal gun butt was rejected by publisher?

  18. Bookworm Bas Says:

    Wow nice work Ilya Chentsov. : ) I admire the artists skill even if he is constrained by either popular taste or the publisher. Personally I don’t mind a bit of cleavage but as an artist he obviously knew nothing about guns. On the same token maybe it isn’t a projectile weadon at all but actually some other variety of futuristic weapon with just a passing resembalnce to the M-16 with a guitar hero keypad.

  19. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Ilya: well that kills my theory! I had thought that shiny works both ways on covers, and she needed her sunglasses to protect her own vision.

    Her lips are very pursed. Is she trying to kiss the majestic wind carrying her tresses aloft? Or is she whistling? Or is it, perchance, completely unnecessary?

    When I was small, we had Hammer Time. Does Sister Time involve tighter trousers? I’m led to believe so. I wonder why.

  20. Anna T. Says:

    @simon: Maybe it’s supposed to be a comically huge suppressor.

    She’s going to fall out of her shirt if she does anything. She looks more like a posing model than someone who fights a lot.

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