Jan 21

And everyone thought Jesus was a man... he was but a humble blob.Click for full image

Nothing sells books better than Jesus! Just look at the sales of the Bible, top seller every year. So we’ll have three crosses on a hill, that’s the Jesus part. Then some guy kneeling next to a bleeding fleshy cocoon, that’s the sci-fi part. With this cover, we’re fulfilling the prophecy! Just kidding, now get me more coffee!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.76 out of 10)

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30 Responses to “Behold the Man”

  1. CSA Says:

    … is that the Neo-Jesus?

  2. SI Says:

    It could possibly be.

    An award does go to the school-ground humour surname. 😉

  3. SI Says:

    Sorry we’ve made a big mistake. This is clearly the cover winner:

  4. CSA Says:

    tee-hee….. cock…..

    (btw i love the mouse-over comment!)

  5. Simon Says:

    @si Ooh I dunno . . .

  6. CSA Says:

    Holy crap!… sorry i mean… Holy Jesus!

    I need a new way to say ‘awesome’, that version is …. ah… where’s my thesaurus…. ok … ‘magnificent’

  7. SI Says:

    Simon> About the other cover? Or the school-ground humour? I appologise to anyone who might have a tease-able surname. Just do what they do in Scotland, don’t pronounce the ck. So it would become Moorco. 😀

  8. CSA Says:

    Actually i don’t think the GGS cover is all that bad. Infact i like it enough that id read it in public.

    The font is good, and the cover is pretty tidy (i.e. not too much going on). Theres no getting round the blob and the dude in the middle but atleast he isnt a Lizard-dude.

    The link you posted is astonomically worse

  9. Adam Roberts Says:

    Blue blob? What do you mean, ‘blue blob’? How can you not recognsie Pacman when you see him?

    Reminds me of that Black Grape song ‘Kelley’s Heroes’: “Jesus was a black man … no, Jesus was Pacman!”

  10. Adam Roberts Says:

    Also, I’m with Simon: the Mayflower cover linked to is … pretty good, I’d say.

  11. CSA Says:

    is that one of Simons?!

  12. CSA Says:

    AHH! i can’t tell when people are sarcastic anymore! Please tell me i’m not insane…. that Mayflower cover must have made someone else smile!

    @adam Pac-man gets two extra lives, Jesus only got one.

  13. Adam Roberts Says:

    You may be insane, but at least you’re still funny. “Pac-man gets two extra lives, Jesus only got one” is both LOL and theologically profound!

  14. SI Says:

    I’m also not sure if pac-mans ghosts are holy…

  15. CSA Says:

    Isn’t there a chapter in the Bible where the Holy Ghost is chasing Jesus around a maze, but then Jesus finds some cherries so he turns around and starts chasing the Ghost?

  16. CSA Says:

    oops, that was Pac-man.

    its too confusing. This theological stuff is over my head and after a day of work pac-man and Jim Caviezel seem to have too much in common….

  17. James Lovegrove Says:

    The Mayflower edition was the one I read. Back in the late 1970s, it made sense. But then so did a lot of other things, like bellbottoms and centre partings.

  18. Simon Says:

    Was the Masterworks edition one of mine? No. It was briefed by my boss.

    Moving on . . .

  19. SI Says:

    Uh oh… We’ll move on quickly then. At a rating of 3, it’s actually pretty good 🙂

    Not that I know what you look like James but now I have a very strange image of someone writing a book with a huge afro. I’m easily amused.

  20. James Lovegrove Says:

    @SI You know it, bro. Orange tracksuit, medallion, wide lapels, massive ‘fro, sultry bikini-clad babe leaning on my shoulder as I hammer away on an clattering electric typewriter, my head wreathed in smoke from the massive doobie that dangles from my lips…

    Boy, we knew how to live in the imaginary 1970s!

  21. Justin Leego Says:

    SF Masterworks covers are usually pretty classy, it has to be said. That’s why I was surprised to see this.

    Admittedly, in comparison to some of the other artworks for the book it’s quite tame, but I’m not really getting a “Jesus wasn’t Jesusy enough to be Jesus, in fact he was severely retarted and his mother and father were less than upstanding figureheads of their generation, so a time-travelling man leapt back from 1970 and upon encountering the Nazarene was convinced enough by the idealism of a saviour that he decided to go to the cross himself, despite usually being a totally self-centered ass himself” vibe from it.

    Instead, it’s more of a “Read this and feel as sick as a blue blob monster that has found itself in a compromising and blasphemous situation after a man has killed you from the inside and you have spewed him out amongst a watery river of blood with your dying croak”.

    Bizarrely, the other (terrible) covers inspire me more. “This book is strange! Awesome! The author will try to break your mind!”

  22. SI Says:

    James> haha so what’s the chances of your next book being ‘The Age of Shaft’ dammmn right! 😀

  23. James Lovegrove Says:

    @SI Hush yo’ mouth! Although, actually, that’s not a bad idea for a novel…

  24. Adam Roberts Says:

    This site is doing good work on the Inspiration front. ‘Disco’ James Lovegrove gets a neat idea for his next novel; and I get a story idea too.

  25. CSA Says:

    Potentially there is actually alot there to explore in that idea. Though somewhat farcical in concept, actually leaves a number of fairly deep possibilities to explore.

    Moorcocks version explores the atheistic approach to the time traveller meets Jesus story, whereas yours, athough arguably blasphemous, would assert that Jesus really was atleast godlike if not necessarily a god (or son of) himself.

    I posted a comment in the article aswell but it doesnt seem to have shown up.

    Good luck if you decide to fully develop your idea. There is definately potential there for a brilliant novel. I’d buy it anyway (as long as there is an awesomely cheesey and horriffic cover so we can post it on GSS)

  26. Adam Roberts Says:

    That goes without saying!

  27. -3- Says:

    Actually, I always preferred the old Avon cover for this one:

  28. THX 1138 Says:

    Jesus Christ has a lot in common with Snake Plissken: we thought he was taller and we thought he was dead.

  29. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @THX: and they were both HILARIOUS in Big Trouble in Little China.

  30. A.R.Yngve Says:

    This time machine died for our sins. Think about it, won’t you?

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