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Dec 22

The Chrome Borne

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Wendy Comments: She’s acting tough pretending she didn’t just set her left hand on fire.

Published 1999

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.24 out of 10)
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17 Responses to “The Chrome Borne”

  1. THX 1139 Says:
    December 22nd, 2020 at 10:14 am

    Roxette are taking their middle of the road pop to the next level.

  2. Francis Boyle Says:
    December 22nd, 2020 at 11:33 am

    Given how accurately the Mustang is rendered, I’m going to have to assume that everything on this cover actually happened precisely as depicted.

  3. Lillie Awesome Says:
    December 22nd, 2020 at 12:33 pm

    It’s a shame Mercedes & Larry didn’t collaborate with Lackey Dixon more often.

  4. fred Says:
    December 22nd, 2020 at 1:34 pm

    A dragon and a lady Targaryen. Is this self published ASOFAI fan fic?

  5. NomadUK Says:
    December 22nd, 2020 at 2:08 pm

    @Lillie Awesome: They collaborate all the time. They’re a couple: Mercedes & Larry Lackey-Dixon.

  6. Bruce A Munro Says:
    December 22nd, 2020 at 4:14 pm

    WITNESS US!!!
    (Please?)

    Yeah, a crowbar. That’ll take a dragon right out…

    Is that a lich, a witch, or a lich witch?

    Dragons, hot Elf babe with electrical neon magic, skull-faced villain, hot rod, tattooed bleached blond with machine gun, sunglasses, “we know Japanese stuff”…this cover really wants to be taken as piping hot nerd junk-food, doesn’t it?

  7. Ryan Says:
    December 22nd, 2020 at 4:31 pm

    Captain Redjacket was displeased with the bead on his latest attempt at TIG welding, so he selected a medium crowbar to tear it apart before he began again.

  8. Tat Wood Says:
    December 22nd, 2020 at 6:57 pm

    Everything in moderation: I imagine my thigh-slapping gag will materialise soon.

  9. GSS ex-noob Says:
    December 23rd, 2020 at 1:10 am

    @Tag Wiz: I’m betting this also deserves the tags “shiny” and “embossed”. Seriously, with a title containing the word chrome, and the way this came out in the photo, and the publisher, ain’t no way they didn’t make that reflective. And dude definitely has a mullet. And cleavage everywhere.

    Let’s run down the list, shall we?

    Big gun: check
    Boobs: check
    Shiny title: check
    Blue and orange: check
    Dragon: check
    Humanoid animal: check
    More boobs: check
    Implausible armor: check
    Explosion or lightning: check
    Terrible, cluttered random art composition: check

    It’s peak BAEN!(seeabovelist)

    It only lacks a spaceship, which I guess the car is taking the place of.

    Is the dude a big fan of Original Flavor Battlestar Galactica? His jacket says so. Are the shades so he looks cool, or to keep from being blinded by the rest of the cover?

    @Bruce: I’m only surprised it’s as late as 1999 — it looks like Everything Eighties to me.

    @Tat: fear not, the cover is funny enough as-is.

  10. JuanPaul Says:
    December 23rd, 2020 at 1:41 am

    It’s a necks-a-stretchin’ extravaganza with a mishmash of pop culture rip-offs.

    And is that lady guiding a plane or dragon to the gate?

  11. B. Chiclitz Says:
    December 23rd, 2020 at 5:41 am

    @JP—I think “necks-a-stretchin’ ” would make a good complement to “skulls-a-poppin’ “

  12. GSS ex-noob Says:
    December 23rd, 2020 at 7:41 am

    I just now showed this to Mr. xn.

    So at first his lips just moved silently, and then he said “The jacket… it’s Battlestar” and when I asked him to estimate which year or decade it was printed, he instantly said “The 80’s” with great confidence, and when I said 1999, he said “Out of date tropes!”

    I mean, original BSG was off the air for nearly 20 years before this “artwork” was printed.

    I think it could best be described a la the “Stefon” character from SNL. “This cover has EVERYTHING!”

  13. Tat Wood Says:
    December 23rd, 2020 at 2:26 pm

    All right, I’ll do it a day late, from memory:

    This is a ‘Look-In’ cover from 1992, with Violet Berlin, Michael Bolton, ‘Knightmare’ and a minor character from ‘Count Duckula’. I bet it’s Dominik Diamond driving the car and Gaz Top dressed as a dragon

    There, that was worth moderating..

  14. A.R. Yngve Says:
    January 1st, 2021 at 12:21 am

    Hot rods and high magic and grumpy old dragons and Star Fox rule!

  15. A.R. Yngve Says:
    January 3rd, 2021 at 1:02 am

    A rare STAR FOX tie-in, which sadly did not lead to more Nintendo-related book releases.

  16. Ryan Says:
    August 27th, 2024 at 4:08 pm

    The fox never reached the Zen point during his tea ceremony, mainly because of all the other nonsense occurring around him.

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:
    August 31st, 2024 at 2:01 am

    Fox is about to exit stage left. Or perhaps he’s asked Death to take him away just to get out of this mess.

    I marvel anew at it having an “aesthetic” of 10-15 years earlier, and at how it could have used another half-dozen tags that already existed.

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