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Nov 08

Fang Fic

Max Bathroom comments: “I think the best way to sell a vampire story is to make it look like a novelisation of a videogame…”

Published 2006

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.56 out of 10)
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20 Responses to “Pretty Young Things”

  1. Francis Boyle Says:

    When your sex-doll turns vampire.

    (I hate it when that happens.)

  2. fred Says:

    They had to go to goodreads to get a blurb for the back cover.

    https://www.amazon.com/Pretty-Young-Things-Dominic-McDonagh/dp/1845839854

  3. Tor Mented Says:

    Someone must have just told her to calm down.

  4. Max Bathroom Says:

    @fred
    Never a good sign, is it?
    At least the current edition in your link to Amazon appears to have a better cover…

  5. Bibliomancer Says:

    @Tor – Or someone said “you’d be prettier if you smiled more”

    … and regretted it

  6. Tat Wood Says:

    I was once invited to write for Telos. They were that desperate.

    I wasn’t.

  7. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Even vampires like wearing wax lips now and then just for the zany fun of it.

  8. Emster Says:

    Not particularly fang-tastic or fang-ciful, but may appeal to a certain fang base.

    (Sorry gang, that’s all I’ve got, and I’m riding on Tag Master’s coattails)

  9. GSS ex-noob Says:

    This is probably a teeny tiny publisher, one guy and the people he can sucker in. I would bet all the money in my pocket. *

    And I see the cover has changed for the… less bad now.

    Am laughing at the one Amazon review (which seems to have disappeared from the listing) which starts “Despite the blurb’s suggestion that it might be soft porn”, although one of the others says there is all that.

    Can’t tell if her eyebrows are “bad rendering software” or “this is TOTES how Dominic fantasizes lesbian rave vampires look”. And not only are her fangs wrong, she’s missing the teeth between the incisors and the fangs. Plus other weirdness with the bottom teeth.

    I’d say the one Amazon review visible, the deleted one, and anything from Goodreads are all the reviews he ever got. And he might have paid for some of those.

    It’s his debut, and according to Amazon, his finale. And whoever he gave the book to didn’t want it either.

    @B’man: That is EXACTLY what happened half a second before this picture.

    * $1.68. Who uses cash any more?

  10. fred Says:

    Telos Publishing.

    ‘We are not looking for teen romance or angst driven supernatural fiction.’

    https://telos.co.uk/

  11. Max Bathroom Says:

    @fred
    How are you going to spend the dollar sixty eight you’ve just won?
    😉

  12. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Max: LOL and GSS!

    I stand by my assertion about “the people he can sucker in”, especially in view of @Tat’s comment.

    I’mma give Fred $1.50, he wouldn’t want the pennies anyway. Need to dump those.

  13. fred Says:

    I can live for a month on $1.50, as my upcoming Telos Publishing book will show.

  14. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @fred: LOL. Never mind dodgy SF/F — write a book on how to live on $1.50 a month! You’ll soon get more than that.

    I’ll give ya the dime too. $1.60, the holidays are coming up.

  15. Max Bathroom Says:

    Leaving aside fred’s monetary issues and returning to the cover girl’s dentistry issues, is it worth mentioning that the vampires in the book don’t have fangs? Maybe the cover is some sort of stock vampire image left over from when the artist was figuring out how Poser worked…

  16. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Max: ALL the teeth, regular and fangs, are completely messed-up. and look to have been.cut and pasted from somewhere else.

    So you might very well be right.

  17. Max Bathroom Says:

    @GSS ex-noob
    I’m sure you’re right, but it might have been nice if the cover artist had skimmed through the book (it’s only a novella, FFS!) and noticed that the vampires don’t have fangs and cut people with blades instead of biting them.
    Whoever they were, they might have been able to render a straight razor in Poser (or whatevs) a bit better than they could teeth…

  18. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Max: But if she didn’t have fangs, how would the clueless punters know she’s supposed to be a vampire?

    Which might have been the actual thought process — “How will they know she’s a vampire? Cut and paste some teeth and fangs in there in the next 10 minutes! I don’t care how stupid they look!”

    Or possibly the “artist” was never able to read the op cit. Just told “vampire chick! Go!”

    At any rate, Talos or the author realized their mistake and changed the cover.

  19. Max Bathroom Says:

    @GSS
    I’d honestly not thought of that, but you’re right. Without crap fangs, nobody would know she’s a vampire from looking at that cover. There’s no argument with that.

  20. A. R. Yngve Says:

    Will it run on my old PlayStation?

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