Jun 27

The only vampire to die tragically choking on someone else's vomit. Click for full image

JaunPaul’s Art Direction: So what we’re looking for is a portrait of the protagonist that makes the reader want to punch the book in the face. Can you handle that?
Published 1995

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.58 out of 10)

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21 Responses to “Vanitas”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    What’s a chill bone, Dean?

  2. Tom Noir Says:

    From the writer that brought you self-hugging vampires and shirtless tween vampires comes this fresh HORROR!!!

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I infer that the person shown on the cover is very, very short.

  4. Bibliomancer Says:

    Vlad the Entertainer

  5. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Are those frosted eyebrows or badly painted sheen?

  6. Ikari Gendo Says:

    Definitely not the Grateful Dead.

  7. fred Says:

    I didn’t know there was a ‘splatter punk’ genre. Or 12 yr old rock star vampires.

  8. JuanPaul Says:

    @Bibliomancer ‘Vlad the Entertainer’ almost made me spray coffee all over my laptop.

  9. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    singing: ‘Timmeh Timmeh Timmeh Timmeh Timmeh Timmeh!’

  10. JuanPaul Says:

    @DSWBT it’s actually highlights from the embossed cover. It’s really disgusting in person.

  11. B. Chiclitz Says:

    There is way too much ear on this cover.

  12. Anna T. Says:

    I can’t tell if this vampire is male or female. I can infer, however, that they probably wear that ugly pompadour to increase their height. And I’m just wondering if they stole that leather coat from their dad’s wardrobe or something, because it looks way, way too big.

  13. B. Chiclitz Says:

    So, “S.P. Somtow doesn’t write like anyone else,” but he’s ripped off Van Morrison and Ecclesiastes for at least two of his titles. Maybe he just lets anyone else write for him.

  14. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @THX1138—the chill bone is opposite the humerus.

  15. A.R.Yngve Says:


  16. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Seriously, that artist would seem tame and downright reactionary on the Japanese pop/rock scene…

  17. Tat Wood Says:

    Scar-Jo as Jareth, King of the Goblins. “You cowered before me, and I was, like, super-frightening”

  18. HappyBookworm Says:

    @Tat Wood – Yeah, like, totally!

  19. Robert Carnegie Says:

    Satan as a music tribute act. Prince of Darkness.

  20. Elvraie Says:

    What now? Transylvania got Talent!

  21. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I knew he looked familiar…

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