Jun 28

Make Ionus Great Again - Donald KarkongClick for full image

Charles Comments: Jeb! Bush political fan fiction?

Published 1969

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.50 out of 10)

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21 Responses to “Terror on Planet Ionus”

  1. Bibliomancer Says:

    A reminder to get your shingles vaccine shot.

  2. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘This is no novel: it is half-heartedly “novelized” screen story. The blank-faced characters stand up and speak their lines woodenly, without any perceptible motivation; of characterization, explanation, depth of any kind there is none…[the book is] so bad that ordinary epithets will not do. It is incredibly, stupidly, loathsomely bad… The style is pretentious, ignorant and vulgar.’

    @Charles: Yes, undoubtedly Jeb Bush fanfic.

  3. Bibliomancer Says:

    @DSWBT – A terrible novel gets an equally terrible cover. That’s the GSS Daily Double!

  4. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @B’mancer: I’ve done it! I’ve done it! A ha ha ha!

    @Anna: If Titan is also known as Ionus, perhaps Ganymede is known as Planet Bob or something.

  5. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    By my arithmetic, traveling to Ionus at Mach 1 should take you about 132 years

  6. THX 1138 Says:

    Awful lot of bird poo on that periscope sight.

  7. Tat Wood Says:

    ‘Karkong’ is such a good villain-name, it’s a shame to waste it on a lousy book. Maybe there’ll be a new Decepticon.

  8. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Tat: he looks like a lump of lava…a Rock Lord instead, maybe?

  9. Bibliomancer Says:

    Maybe Karkong can run against Kang and Kodos in the next election.

  10. Francis Boyle Says:

    Karkong, the monster – is that his official title or is there some need to distinguish this Karkon from that other one who pays his taxes and has never had so much as a parking fine – you know the one – Karkon the Ordinary.

  11. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Terror on Planet USAus!
    “The odds against destroying Trumpkong the monster were incredible. Low-energy Jeb! failed miserably, as did Little Marco, Lyin’ Ted, Brain Dead Ben and Fat Christie. Only Wonder Woman could save the world now, as the looming deadline of November drew ever closer.”

  12. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Glad they changed the title. Mach1 isn’t really that inspiring as a science fiction concept.

  13. Bibliomancer Says:

    @B.Chiclitz – Or “science-fiction” as the Paperback Library styles it (in 1969!).

  14. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Bibliomancer—Thanks. Shouldn’t they then call themselves the Paper-back Library?

  15. Anna T. Says:

    @DSWBT: Being shouted out to before I’ve had a chance to say anything about the giant, tiny-headed (and therefore likely somewhat lacking in intelligence) magma man that someone is inexplicably trying to stab with a jet fighter is a new experience.

    And no, to my knowledge Ganymede has never been called Planet Bob, especially considering that it’s a moon.

  16. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Anna: pardon the confusion! I had thought it was you who wondered about the abundance of Ganymede in science fiction stories, but it was actually @HappyBookworm. This will teach me to not check my references. 😐

  17. fred Says:

    So if Karkong is on the rocket ship and Jeb is giant lava dude I don’t see why the odds are so incredible, looks pretty even to me.

  18. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The fight against Karkong proved long and the weapons had been bought for a song.

  19. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @AR: and what part of his body do you suppose the rocket burned off? 😉

  20. A.R.Yngve Says:

    I will not mention the oblong thong of Karkong (he shouldn’ve worn a sarong).

  21. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Good show, sir! Well played. 🙂

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