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Sep 02

Sucks and Blows

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That's a number 3 upper left 4 and fangs lower 3 in the 2.Click for full image

Farquarson Comments:I don’t know what bothers me more–the artwork or the title. I hate shots from inside someone’s mouth; it reminds me of the, “Dentist” scene from Little Shop of Horrors. On the other hand, calling your book “Sucks & Blows” is an absolute GIFT to any critic worthy of the name.
Published 2011

Extra points go to the photo of a computer screen! Thanks Farquarson!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.09 out of 10)
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18 Responses to “Sucks and Blows”

  1. Kathryn Says:
    September 2nd, 2011 at 8:59 am

    If this book isn’t about gay vampires (campires?), then I’m going to be disappointed.

  2. THX 1138 Says:
    September 2nd, 2011 at 10:06 am

    It’s not a vampire, it’s Digby, the Biggest Dog in the World.

  3. Herm Says:
    September 2nd, 2011 at 11:31 am

    I like this, both cover and title. It’s cheeky and screams “hey, I’m not taking myself too seriously”. If the book lives up to that, well – good show, sir/madam/honoured author (hard to tell with a name like Storm).

    Genius idea photographing a computer screen in order to follow the site rules.

  4. Herm Says:
    September 2nd, 2011 at 11:33 am

    Oh, and I thought of the dentist song too. Vampire oral hygiene must be significantly hampered by the little mirror on a stick thingy not working.

  5. storm grant Says:
    September 2nd, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    Yes, Kathryn, you’re right! It’s gay vampires. Here’s the tag line:
    Sucks & Blows: The epic (but short!) love story of a vampire and his dentist.

    And Herm, if you like puns and general silliness, I don’t believe you’ll be disappointed. ;-D

    Details and reviews here:
    http://www.stormgrant.com/storm_work/sucks_and_blows.htm

    Sadly, I’ve never seen Little Shop of Horrors.

    Thanks for discussing my wee story.

  6. Phil Says:
    September 2nd, 2011 at 8:37 pm

    “Storm Grant Sucks & Blows” is up there with “Dostoyevsky The Idiot” and “The Sheep Look Up John Brunner” – unfortunate combinations of words found on book spines.

    The screen photo gets me wondering: when we will see the first Kindle cover on Good Show Sir? (Or has I already happened when I wasn’t looking?)

  7. jerk of all trades Says:
    September 3rd, 2011 at 5:12 am

    ….Attorneys at Law

  8. Don Hilliard Says:
    September 3rd, 2011 at 6:00 am

    “The epic (but short!) love story of a vampire and his dentist.”

    Should we be expecting a sequel entitled Swallows and Spits?

  9. fred Says:
    September 3rd, 2011 at 7:02 pm

    Lemmiwinks vs Dracula

  10. WWWWolf Says:
    September 3rd, 2011 at 11:04 pm

    Somehow, putting the author’s name in two lines makes my fevered brain to process them as two words.

    “Eh, it was written by… Storm… Grant… an epic person who applied for money from the government. Wait, does that make any sense?”

    ….a problem further compounded by the first name being “Storm” and the title apparently wholly relating to mutually counteracting gas-dynamics phenomena.

    If you have but a few words to put on the cover, please arrange them in a logical, coherent way that it doesn’t endlessly confuse morons like me!

  11. Joachim Says:
    September 5th, 2011 at 5:59 pm

    If you suck and blow with those fangs don’t expect good things….

  12. Hep C Says:
    October 31st, 2011 at 6:27 pm

    It’s one of those rare occasions, when the title overshadows even the horrific cover. Good show – but only as far as the title is concerned.

  13. rev Says:
    March 8th, 2014 at 11:52 am

    Could be worse. It could be Blows and Sucks.
    Eww.

  14. BootstrapperW Says:
    October 2nd, 2019 at 4:49 pm

    And swallows!

  15. GSS ex-noob Says:
    January 13th, 2023 at 11:31 pm

    So this is a book about a vampire’s dentist appointment told entirely from the POV of … a taste bud?

    I know the computer screen photo doesn’t help, but I think even without that I wouldn’t be too keen on the bottom line there. In this rendering, it looks like the nonsense “text” rendered by those AI art thingys. The whole “artwork” looks like that.

    Rarely have a title and art been so apropos for each other.

  16. Hammy Says:
    January 14th, 2023 at 2:11 am

    I’m waiting for the sequel about the love affair between a vampire and a car that has a faulty fuel system. It would be titled, of course…

    “Bucks and Slows”

    I’ll get me coat….

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:
    January 14th, 2023 at 10:39 pm

    throws Hammy’s coat at him

    secretly whispers GSS

    I tried clicking on the author’s link above. It has no content, but informs me that domain can be had for a mere 500 euro!

  18. JJYoyo Says:
    January 15th, 2023 at 2:48 pm

    A suspense novel about a chicken farm near Chernobyl:
    Clucks and Glows.

    In an alternative universe, the 1980 Winter Olympics hockey gold medal game will determine the winner of the Cold War:
    Pucks and Foes.

    I apologize…..

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