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Jun 19

Tracker

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I made this tea myself... from my own urine...Click for full image

Rachel Comments: There’s high-octane, adrenaline-flooding, heart-bursting, ground-pounding, high-speed tracking going on. Somewhere.
Published 2015

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.80 out of 10)
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23 Responses to “Tracker”

  1. Bob of Bobbinghamshire Says:
    June 19th, 2015 at 10:23 am

    No biscuits, very suspicious.

  2. SI Says:
    June 19th, 2015 at 10:44 am

    He looks super jealous of that grey coloured cravat!

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:
    June 19th, 2015 at 12:07 pm

    Act calm…act calm…don’t act suspicious…act…

    I say, have you seen where all of our other friends got off to?

    Damn.

  4. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:
    June 19th, 2015 at 12:08 pm

    @TW: is there an ‘eyes with no pupils’ tag?

  5. THX 1138 Says:
    June 19th, 2015 at 12:15 pm

    “More tea, vicar? I’ll be mother.”

  6. Nephilim Says:
    June 19th, 2015 at 12:20 pm

    The title actually refers to the mix of liquid in the cup.This is a physician’s visit, and Mr. Bad-Hair-Dye is drinking a potion that will light up his red cells, enabling the grey elf to monitor his blood pressure and track any circulatory issues going on. Riveting stuff.

  7. Nephilim Says:
    June 19th, 2015 at 12:26 pm

    A book cover that truly tests both your manhood and your commitment to read Sci-Fi openly in public. In my day, the heavy metal era, we had wine, women and wookies. Today we have tea-toting teetotaling towheads.

  8. fred Says:
    June 19th, 2015 at 12:57 pm

    What more could you want
    Than men in frou-frou and lace
    And dressed to the nines!
    ~Lady Katherine

    http://www.blakeneymanor.com/haiku.html

  9. Tom Noir Says:
    June 19th, 2015 at 1:22 pm

    “There’s tea somewhere near here. I can SMELL it.”

  10. A.R.Yngve Says:
    June 19th, 2015 at 2:33 pm

    Jason Starsmasher dreaded the Sundays. The afternoon tea with his alien mother-in-law. The smell of jasmin and mint that always made him vaguely nauseous. And always, always the lies:
    “More tea, Jason dear?”
    “Of… of course.”
    “One lump or two?”
    “One.”
    “I hope you don’t find this boring, dear.”
    “Of course not.”
    “Because if you do… OUR RACE SHALL DECLARE WAR ON EARTH!”
    “There’s no need for that.”
    “Yes, dear. Have another cup.”
    Perhaps, Jason thought, war was a viable alternative.

  11. Tat Wood Says:
    June 19th, 2015 at 2:36 pm

    A Foreigner novel. So slightly more exciting than her REO Speedwagon ones.

  12. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:
    June 19th, 2015 at 3:21 pm

    @Tat: Bachman-Turner Underwhelming.

  13. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:
    June 19th, 2015 at 5:26 pm

    Is a sea turtle making sweet love to the top of the teapot?

  14. Bibliomancer Says:
    June 19th, 2015 at 5:46 pm

    I’m sure old alien woman lives alone in a space apartment with 20 cat-people crapping all over the floor.

  15. A.R.Yngve Says:
    June 19th, 2015 at 6:16 pm

    TRACER
    A Poison Novel

    HUNTER
    A Van Halen Novel

    FOLLOWER
    A Europe Novel

  16. Anna T. Says:
    June 19th, 2015 at 9:27 pm

    Tea: clearly, a universal constant. It’s fascinating to know that aliens in many fictional universes consider it a solution to many problems.

    Also clear: these men must both be Space Brits, because they’re also wearing the height of 18th century couture, on top of aforementioned tea drinking.

    Although the lack of biscuits is odd.

  17. Tat Wood Says:
    June 19th, 2015 at 10:02 pm

    The lack of biccies might explain the title, if they’ve plumped for cereal-bars instead https://www.tracker-bar.co.uk/
    @Anna T.: it might be an alternate timeline where the whole War of Independence thing was cancelled due to lack of interest. That’s why it’s a Foreigner novel rather than Boston.

  18. anon Says:
    June 20th, 2015 at 9:59 am

    T-Racker by C.J.Cherreyh
    A Foreigner novel

    He wanted to know what love is. Too late he noticed the sugar cubes were in pieces. The tea was as cold as ice and gave him double vision. Maybe it was the rain.
    He felt an urgent need to break it up.
    “You said ‘I don’t want to live without you’.”
    “That was yesterday. It was a white lie.”
    Maybe he could avoid the head games by resorting to love on the telephone.
    “Can’t wait, dirty white boy,” said hot blooded Luanne, “when it comes to love, I can’t slow down.”
    “Women”, thought the soul doctor.

  19. A.R.Yngve Says:
    June 21st, 2015 at 11:04 pm

    Anon — we’re not worthy!
    😀

  20. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:
    June 22nd, 2015 at 4:52 pm

    Dear Ms. Swift,

    Now that we’ve sorted out streaming music, do you think you could have Apple bring some excitement to this cover?

    Thanks,

    DSWBT

  21. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:
    October 16th, 2016 at 2:29 pm

    TRUCKER

    A NAFTA Novel

  22. Tat Wood Says:
    October 16th, 2016 at 4:31 pm

    Why does the sugar-bowl have an aerodynamic fin? Why doesn’t the Val Kilmer guy in the white jacket use a saucer? Why don’t they move the table further inside the cave so the wind won’t make the tea get cold?

  23. JJYoyo Says:
    February 16th, 2022 at 3:54 am

    Starring Brent Spiner as the Dark Elf and Rutger Hauer as Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

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