Jul 20

Uh oh.. they have lightening! Quickly boys... switch to ragtime! Click for full image

B. Chiclitz Comments: “The hills are alive, With a lightning-laced wormhole, And a phallic bridge to nowhere, And a band from—wha?”
Published 1999

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.55 out of 10)

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21 Responses to “The Spellsong War”

  1. DaveM Says:

    And this is why you don’t let the bard recruit the party..

    Anyone else getting a Blues Brothers vibe from this cover? It really looks like they’ve just started “Shake a tailfeather” to me.

  2. THX 1138 Says:

    You’ll get that Vegas residency yet, Celine, just follow the Yellow Brick Road…

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Lena and the Lemmings’ musical career was cut tragically short.

  4. Bibliomancer Says:

    Stairway to Ting

    The band fires its one-armed singer and makes her walk the plank.

  5. Tat Wood Says:

    I don’t remember sending this. I have a Modesitt in the pipeline for you but that was Lorne Greene dressed as the Scarlet Pimpernel.

  6. GSS Admin Says:

    Oops sorry! I need to have coffee before I make posts.

    Changed to the real sender! Sorry B. Chiclitz!

  7. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘Sorry B. Chiclitz’? Is ‘Sorry’ really your first name? Goodness, what happened at your baptism?

  8. fred Says:

    Can’t hear what they are playing, but I can tell it needs more cowbell.

  9. Tom Hering Says:

    “It’s spelled S-O-N-G.”
    “No, it’s S-A-W-N-G.”
    “For the last time, you bastard, it’s S-O-N-G!”
    “Drop dead!”
    “This means WAR!!!”
    “Bring it on!!!”

  10. anon Says:

    Acoustica playing Walk the Lightning..

  11. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Admin—all is forgiven; I figured since it was my first submission that it was one of those wacky rookie hazing things.

    @DSWBT 7—well, it was supposed to be “Tristram.”

    @DSWBT 3—Lemmings!

  12. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Typeface hijinks abound, like the way “Jr.” is small, just like a junior! And the comma after “Modesitt” kind of just hangs in the air like a helium filed Shofar or a band instrument that got away. And the “y” in “Cycle” with that cute little tail that resembles the musical notes just like the ones being played!

    Wow. Deep.

  13. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:


  14. A.R.Yngve Says:

    I imagine that when the musicians play, they sound like a German oompah band…

  15. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @AR: Is it the vests that gives you that impression? The alopecia? The stiff poses?

  16. anon Says:

    @DSWBT: Oh come now. Surely the band has to be playing something classier and more inspiring.

  17. A.R.Yngve Says:


  18. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Don’t forget the greatest Polka Band of all.

  19. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:


  20. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @DSWBT—imagine this Superband: Vlado, Kenny G, and Zamfir, Master of the Pan Flute.

  21. Calyx Says:

    “Uhn…sorry, mate, but we booked this studio weeks ago. We’re recording a trad jazz version of the Floral Dance.”

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