Nov 03

Fire-breath vs. fish-breath. Winner gets the opal!Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: What’s the point of carrying that ginormous sword if Fishfighter isn’t going to use it?
Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.90 out of 10)

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25 Responses to “Orc’s Opal”

  1. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    …I feel dirty…

  2. L.B. Says:

    The little guy at the base of the cover, “Stop being children! You are just going to have to share this contact lens until I make another one!”

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    The owners of Metrojet have determined that there were no incidents of fish-colossus-on-dragon rape on the cover at all.

  4. Bibliomancer Says:

    Another terrible cover. I smelt it coming.

  5. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Fish time in paperback!

  6. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    The blurb needs more prepositional phrases, ‘of’ should be used more often.

  7. Tat Wood Says:

    ‘Back in the bowl – both of you! That’s the last time I buy sea-monkeys from an ad in a Superman comic’

  8. THX 1138 Says:



  9. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Of which one is of the Kelvin?

  10. A.R.Yngve Says:

    (Somebody had to say it…)

    Yes! YESS!! A double Marx Brothers’ reference and awful pun COMBO!!

    [Does victory lap around room, family asks if I need medical assistance]

  11. fred Says:

    When Jeremy Wade has nightmares…

  12. Anna T. Says:

    That’s not a contact lens, that’s a bowl to catch the tears of the loser.

  13. Tom Noir Says:

    “…and to whoever wins, I’ll throw in the kid for free.”

  14. A.R.Yngve Says:


  15. Tat Wood Says:

    Dope’s snorkel?

  16. Perry Armstrong Says:

    Fun Fact: Kelvin of Rud is a former Australian Prime Minister.

  17. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Perry: So, that’s the Great Barrier Reef taking its revenge?

  18. Perry Armstrong Says:

    @Dead Stuff: wouldn’t surprise me, as way too many Australian parliamentarians are PRO COALS, only begrudgingly acknowledging the reef as a CORAL SOP. Things – might – start to get better, as we’ve at least now got a PM who believes in CARPOOLS.

  19. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Well played, Mr. Armstrong. Well played indeed. 🙂

  20. Tat Wood Says:

    Agreed. Have a Coor’s, pal.

  21. RachelJ Says:

    @A.R.Yngve. Why isn’t “Swordfish” the title? Piers Anthony’s gone with far worse puns than that.

  22. anon Says:

    “Crap Solo”, “Scar Polo” or maybe, just maybe “Oral Cops”

  23. A.R.Yngve Says:

    RachelJ, that is one mystery which may never be solved — like the Mary Celeste, the Easter Island statues and why Justin Bieber has fans.

  24. Tom Noir Says:

    I feel like this cover is re-used concept art from a never filmed Polish remake of Godzilla.

  25. Perry Armstrong Says:

    @Tom Noir: concept art, maybe, but it wouldn’t have made the final cut as poster art. If you’ve seen enough examples of Polish movie posters, you’d know those puppies are FREAKING AWESOME!!!

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