Dec 08

I'm gonna need a big band-aid for my left hand.Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: That must be Bobcat Goldthwait!
Published 1988

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.89 out of 10)

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31 Responses to “War of the Maelstrom”

  1. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    You ain’t no catamount, bruv.

    (Or is it too soon for that joke?)

  2. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I see the castle from Riddle-Master of HedMed is getting plenty of work.

  3. fred Says:

    And I suppose if the title of the book was ‘War of the Haboob’ the cover would portray an underwater scene.

  4. SI Says:

    “I’ve trained for years to be a soldier, I just need to finish my sword test.

    ….This is the one error I did not want to make…”

  5. Bibliomancer Says:

    Cat faces are so hard to paint. Let’s just slap Nick Cage on this critter and hope nobody notices.

  6. Tom Noir Says:

    The expression on the, um, horny dude’s face suggests that those changewinds are blowing from under his skirts, if you know what I mean.

  7. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘Bob, the art director’s been after me…he wants you to turn your shoulders like so, and hold the sword in your right hand like this, and hold the blade with your left hand so tightly it cuts into bone.’

  8. Bibliomancer Says:

    War of the Maelskirts

  9. THX 1138 Says:

    That’s no cat person, that’s a person cat.

  10. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Tom Noir 6β€”the original title was the “Breakwinds Series.” They thought “Changewinds” sounded classier, although they gave serious consideration to “Crackcheeks” as well.

    Nick the Catboy seems just to have noticed that there’s something in the air.

  11. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “At last I have The Sword Of AUUUGHH!!!”

  12. Tat Wood Says:

    It must be a generational thing; you see Nick Cage I see Woody Allen looking for his glasses.

    I suppose it’s wrong of me to be more concerned that the bloke in the ram-hat has a head-mounted vase with a wilting thistle in it than about his impending loss of digits.

  13. Anna T. Says:

    @fred: I see what you did there.

    I’m amazed that Horned Man’s neck hasn’t broken from all the weight he’s putting on it. Each one of those horns has to weigh more than his head. Unless they’re inflatable or something, because that’s the only way his head would stay upright.

  14. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘Scuse me, good sir…the lady from the other cover was wondering if she could borrow your heavy cape and cloak for today’s riding expedition.

  15. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Or at least that horned hat-with-nose-vase; that’d serve her well enough.

  16. Bibliomancer Says:

    I’m sure “When the Changewinds Blow” aptly describes the first novel in this series.

  17. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @ B’Mancer 16β€” πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰

  18. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Q: What is a “Changewind”?

    A: As you know, Bob, wind is a stream of atmospheric gas propelled by differences in temperature and pressure. Which pushes against solid matter and causes it to change.

    So… any kind of wind, really.

  19. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Wait just a moment.They designed the ‘W’ so that it looks just like the ‘M’, only rotated around a bit! Huh.That’s rather clever, that is.

  20. B. Chiclitz Says:

    The original title was The Mar of the Waelstrom.

  21. Francis Boyle Says:

    It’s been four years and we still haven’t got a ridiculous headgear tag?

  22. fred Says:

    The castle was probably an outhouse before it got Changewinded.

  23. Tor Mented Says:

    Half cat, half human.
    It must be the missing lynx.

  24. Leak Says:

    Still a more convincing cat person than those in the “Cats” trailer…

  25. Verylatetotheparty Says:

    I’d managed to forget those things – until now….

    They’re not unconvincing – I was convinced I would soon wake up and it would all be a bad dream – just unsettling. Deep in the Uncatty Valley.

  26. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Tor Mβ€”GSS! πŸ˜‰

  27. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Before the Changewinds, the guy with the horns actually was a goat, and he’s just discovered one of the wrong ways to use hands.

    (The castle used to be a herring, and still smells terribly of fish)

  28. Bruce A Munro Says:

    I guess another thing the changewinds destroy is perspective: cat man, horny man, castle castle and pastel fog all seem unconnected to each other.

    (Is the colorful cloud actually meant to represent the Changewind? In which case Horny is being a bit incautious standing in it knee deep: he could have chicken feet by now. Or maybe that’s a magic sword and it’s protecting him, which might explain his somewhat unlikely grip. Blood-powered?)

  29. B. Chiclitz Says:

    “Must keep very, very still or else the weight of these massive horns will cause my head to tip right oooverrrrr.”

  30. GSS ex-noob Says:

    “Nize hat!” as the Jaegers say.

    Alternately, the semi-immortal line from the cult show “Wizards and Warriors”:
    “I’m not wearing a hat.”

    The tall nose piece (bud vase?) is more subtly, yet equally, stupid.

    @Bruce: as they said back when this was published: WORD. (Not “to your mother”, unless she also enjoys bad art)

  31. Ryan Says:

    Obviously Captain Horny was just putting the finishing touches on his quite unique, sword-carved sandcastle masterpiece when suddenly, he noticed Mancat prowling around looking for a convenient poo receptacle.

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