Jan 27

Probably should have tripadvised this hotel first...Click for full image

Perry Comments: Dust jacket don’t know when to quit!
Published 1992

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.67 out of 10)

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24 Responses to “The Thief of Always”

  1. Jonathan Oliver Says:

    Yes, a fine example of why you should probably not let the author do their own covers.

  2. anon Says:

    I bet Vivaldi imagined all the creepy guys too.

  3. Elvraie Says:

    What about the Giver of Never? Would it be a potential sequel? I like the tree-thing with the sharp teeth ready to eat the title as if it was made of white chocolate, for instance. Smashing!

  4. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Far right: Sos the Rope
    Centre: Var the Stick’s pale cousin Goth the Stick

  5. THX 1138 Says:

    Book cover? Or the results of teenage boredom on your folder in English class?

  6. fred Says:

    On this cover
    Turn turn turn
    There are four seasons
    Turn turn turn
    But they are chronologically depicted backwards
    So this cover artwork is useless as is for calendar
    Unless it is viewed in a mirror

  7. Tat Wood Says:

    Does he not realise he’s throwing hundreds of gifted and desperate blurb-writers out of work with his high-handed, autocratic actions? On behalf of the Amalgamated Union of Blurbers, Puffers and Textual Rodomondatists I’m calling for a boycott of this author and we will be balloting out members over industrial action and a picket of Anne McCaffrey’s place of work.

  8. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Elderly lady stoner on the right has just about given up on this cover.
    The duo of Harper and Collins on the spine don’t look none too happy neither:

    Harper: Dude, this cover is way overdetermined.
    Collins: Never let the author have a say on the cover. Never.

  9. Anna T. Says:

    That elf-guy, in fall, who’s exiting through a dimensional crack . . . might he have come from our world? Not originally, of course, but there has to be a reason for that shirt.

    Barker did all the art for “Abarat” and that was amazing. What results from letting the author do their own cover really depends on the book, and in this case . . . too much going on all the sharp teeth help help help


  10. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @AnnaT: I beg your pardon? 😉

  11. Perry Armstrong Says:

    Do you think he was going for some kind of pun by having not one, not two, but tree faces over there on the left?

  12. Anna T. Says:

    @DSWBT: What are you on about, exactly? Do you by any chance have a white long-sleeved shirt with a large blue “H” on the front?

  13. Tag Wizard Says:

    @fred – Yes, Clive Barker did his own cover. And they are the seasons in reverse order:

  14. A.R.Yngve Says:

    I’m not going to say anything mean about this cover. Clive Barker can paint, and made a good cover with complete artistic control.

  15. HappyBookworm Says:

    The man framed with tentacles is from Harvard, of course. Thus the giant H on his shirt.

    (Woman on the far right…related to The Scream?)

  16. Tor Mented Says:

    Are the seasons really backward, or is this just the cover of the Australian edition?

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    That is way the hell too much artwork, for sure. No work for blurb writers, back cover photographers, inside flap copywriters, or white space. Not even UAI grads — nope, Clive’s doing it all! He probably drew the bar code too.

    Perhaps white space counts as “never”, and it was thus not allowed here.

    Horror novel gets horrific cover, how apropos. Especially the distorted faces, which I guess is (conveniently) explained away with the horror. Although the other cover artists managed better.

    I really can’t tell the species or gender of the being on the right.

    @Tor: Maybe you’re supposed to read it right to left, like Japanese? Maybe the thief (and which one is tha supposed to be?) reassembled them wrong after stealing them?

  18. THX 1139 Says:

    A brief reminder Clive is the only respected author of the fantastique to have been filmed dancing naked and aroused. It was for an art film. And the name of that film? The Thief of Trousers. The more you know…

  19. fred Says:

    @18. THX. So if this were like a Mad Magazine we could possibly discover a horny naked dancing Clive after the back cover folding. Seems like a wasted marketing gimmic.

  20. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @fred: It would add to the horror. But as the main character is 10, it would be too much horror.

  21. Bruce A Munro Says:

    So when Barker sets out to illustrate a Grimm fairy tale, he has no elf control?

  22. GSS ex-noob Says:

    throws things @Bruce: GSS!

    This is actually a middle-grade book. Yep, a fairy tale for older kids. I guess if the cover doesn’t scare them off, they can handle the content.

  23. Francis Boyle Says:

    @Tor As an Australian I resent you go propagating silly stereotypes about my country! We may be upside down but we read in same direction as everyone else. It’s just do it a bit more slowly because we’re standing on our heads. Also as any flat-earther will tell you we don’t actually exist so this comment is entirely a figment of your imagination.

  24. Tor Mented Says:

    @Ⅎɹɐuɔᴉs: Iʇ,s ɐll ᴉu ƃoop ɟnu˙

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