Mar 22

Thanks for labeling the Escape Pod. I thought it was a giant webcam.Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: Prequel to Beach Blanket Bingo Planet
Published 2001

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.96 out of 10)

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23 Responses to “Bikini Planet”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    Just those two words make me feel very tired.

  2. Tom Noir Says:

    For once, the pull quote is on point.

  3. Ikari Gendo Says:

    Hey! Look over here! I’m pointing at the Roc logo with my robotic index finger!

  4. Tat Wood Says:

    @Tom Noir: I’d even question one line of that. The name ‘David Garnett’ in a fantasy context suggests the Bloomsbury chap with the appropriately complicated love life whose novel ‘Lady into Fox’ (about a debutante who transforms into a vixen) was turned into a ballet and ‘Aspects of Love’ was made over by Andrew Lloyd Webber and gave the world Michael Ball. Neither of these is suggested by the words ‘Bikini Planet’, although if Ballet Rambert and Cameron Mackintosh combine their forces they could have a hit.


  5. Anna T. Says:

    This is obviously a photo shoot for men who fantasize about women going into battle in combat-inappropriate attire. I’m sick and tired of that crap.

  6. fred Says:

    The selective reflectivity of the flooring is very disconcerting. It draws the eye from the important parts of the cover.

  7. Tom Noir Says:

    @Anne T: You know, the planet is BIKINI Planet, not FEMALE Bikini Planet. Presumably the males of this world must also be donning the proverbial banana hammock. Why couldn’t this cover feature some equal representation?!?

  8. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Starring a Las Vegas cop named Wayne Norton. Kill me, please, as a preemptive measure.

    If her gun loses its wire, then is it useless? I’m not even sure how you could pistol-whip with such a rifle.

  9. Tom Noir Says:

    @DSWBT: That’s not the only thing here supported by a wire.

  10. Jon K. Says:

    @Tat, Tom: Well, there’s this David Garnett, and then there’s David Garnett….

  11. Perry Armstrong Says:

    @Ikari Gendo: This is what happens when you play “Pull my finger” with a Jedi.

  12. Perry Armstrong Says:

    @Anna T: Speaking of the Jedi, I’d like to think that after receiving formal Jedi training, Rey would be smart enough NOT to don the sort of Rob Liefeld-inspired combat gear favoured by Aayla Secura & Ashoka Tano!

  13. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Crap concept. Just those two words make me think of crapping. And concepts. Er, and David Garnett. Mostly David Garnett.

  14. Bibliomancer Says:


  15. anon Says:

    That guy looks like he’s being wronged.

    The reviled future cop V alone can pat ladies’ buns, soften them, shave their head.
    Gravid Nadett
    Knit Pen Alibi makes me think of knitting pens and just how to devise a biro, trade land, draw Ts.” — Gin Meal Ian

  16. Anna T. Says:

    I didn’t bring up Jedi. And, speaking of mankinis, by all rights this planet should be equal-opportunity, but going by this cover . . .

  17. Tat Wood Says:

    Perhaps they mean ‘Bikini’ in its original sense, a place far enough away from America to be blown up without putting the yanks off their TV dinners.

  18. infoqueen Says:

    Bikini WAX Planet: there’s not an excess body hair on any life form…

  19. DaveM Says:

    From the synopsis on wikipedia, it seems this a rare case of the crappy cover being BETTER than this book deserves.

  20. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    There may be one or more hermaphrodites on this cover.

    There, I said it and I don’t regret it at all. 😛

  21. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Hmm. The blurb is word-for-word the plot of the movie DEMOLITION MAN.

  22. Tat Wood Says:

    @ARY: and ‘Adam Adamant Lives!’.

    (Their exclamation-mark, not mine.)

  23. fred Says:

    Cover really needs an additional properly positioned two moons in the sky.

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