Apr 13

Every moment I live... is agony...Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: The pull quote is spot on – Buffy fans LOVE Upside-Down Pittsburgh Fish Blimps. In other news, Pittsburgh Fish Blimps would be a great name for a band.
Published 2004

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.91 out of 10)

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28 Responses to “Tinker”

  1. DaveM Says:

    Baen wanted to squeeze every last drop from that Publishers weekly quote didn’t they?
    This is the third time it’s popped up (that I can find), here’s the other two:

  2. Mark E Says:

    If there isn’t at least ONE wise-cracking vampire in the novel then this Buffy fan is going to have a hissy fit.

  3. THX 1138 Says:

    The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh?

  4. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Buffy fans won’t find much to like on the covers of Tailor, Soldier or Sailor.

    The person closest to us…I assume that’s the heroine…something looks terribly wrong with her legs, but I can’t quite determine what.

  5. Ray P Says:

    Dungeons & Dragons LARPers in the adventure of the mad fishmonger.

  6. Bibliomancer Says:


  7. fred Says:

    First GSS cover with an outhouse?

  8. misterbob Says:

    The American Lovejoy series wasn’t quite what Ian McShane had in mind.

  9. JaunPaul Says:

    Thank god steam punk came along and made dirigibles cool again.

  10. B. Chiclitz Says:

    That fish seems to be expelling clouds of noxious fumes. Maybe that’s why he’s in Pittsburgh. The whole cover looks like it is deliberately meant to induce nausea. Works for me.

  11. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Today’s Horrorscope
    Cast By Monsieur Chosemort Grandents
    The Astrologer More North Sea Oil Platform Drillers Turn To Than Any Other!

    Aries: You are a person not easily duped by the lies and chicanery of others. Today is the perfect day to analyze the situation and pull your head out of the sand. Stop blindly following the word of others and start thinking for yourself!

    Taurus: Last night saw you warm and snug in bed. This morning greeted you with its rosy fingers across the coverlet. Let the bitch-slapping commence. Today’s cheese is Mild Cheddar.

    Gemini: Problems of the automotive persuasion will plague you today. Avoid anything with axels, internal combustion or batteries. Look out for things with locks on them and their tyres. Plan to walk, and a lot.

    Cancer: Little Nell will die. Little Nell will die, and maybe if you had been a better person when you were small, she would be hale, hearty and happy. But she’s wasting away now, and it’s all your fault. Today’s mushroom is the Puffball.

    Leo: Roll on out of the house with a swagger in your step and a glint in your eye. Be sure to buy a paper, and maybe a lottery ticket. Have a second cup while you wait for a stranger to arrive at the cafe. If he asks you, ‘Is the tide high this afternoon?’ your reply should be, ‘They’ve closed the Great Eye.’ Take his paper with the envelope inside when you leave.

    Virgo: There’s a shadow just behind you, shrouding every step you take, making every promise empty, pointing every finger at you, waiting like a stalking butler who upon the finger rests. You must murder the path of “must we” just because the Son has come. Keep your eye on the Meat Tunnel.

    Google (Formerly Libra): Your life is controlled by a series of algorithms. It may not make you happy to follow along with them. But if you step out of line, millions and billions of people will be quite angry with you, so go with the flow today. Do not troll that nice young lady on line, do not convince her to say rude things.

    Gemini, not Scorpio: Sorry about that. I really made a mistake back there, it’s all my fault. So sorry. Geminis will want to take it easy today, take it slow if possible, not be irritable, and be quick to forgive. Today’s appetizer is the Onion Soup.

    Sagittarius: My goodness, you’ve grown up so tall since I saw you last! And already taking on the big busy world, jolly good for you. Greet today with a big bright smile, and be sure to do your best work and think your happiest thoughts. Unless you live in Uruguay.

    Capricorn: Capricorns will not exist today, but will be corporeal again around about 0443 GMT.

    Aquarius: <blink>STINKS TO BE YOU! </blink>

    Pisces: You hover in the twilight zone between life and death, bloated by the gases of your own decomposition. Powerless to avert yet coherent enough to recognize your own torment, you watch with distended eyes as your carcass is used by gangly monsters for their own amusement. There is no hope. There is no God. There is no coupon inside. Today’s Tyrannosaurus is Tinker.

  12. Ray P Says:

    Fish heads fish heads
    Rolly polly fish heads
    Eat them up, yum!

  13. Anna T. Says:

    Having read this book, I can assure you it’s better than the cover makes it look. And that is a depiction of a scene from the book. Why it looks like the cover artist was tripping acid when painting it, though, is something I can’t explain.

  14. Noel Says:

    This reminds me of Orwell’s ‘1984’, but with a giant fish looming out of the sky.

  15. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @AnnaT: does the heroine have one leg conspicuously longer than the other?

  16. Tat Wood Says:

    Album cover rip-off of the day: Bowie’s ‘Earthling’ with a middle-aged, fat-Elvis Jar Jar hanging over.

  17. Tom Noir Says:

    I think Wen Spencer needs to cut to the chase and just starting calling his books “BUFFY FANS PLZ READ”

  18. Tom Noir Says:

    Or her, maybe Wen Spencer is a lady. Honestly, the name gives me no clues.

  19. Jon K. Says:

    @Tom Noir:

    “Wen in doubt, Google….”

    Wen Spencer is female, according to all the sources I found….

  20. Tom Noir Says:

    But will Google tell me that she has a twin named Wat Spencer who is male??

  21. Jon K. Says:

    @TomNoir (#20):

    Wy should Google tell you that? 😉

  22. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Baen’s mistake was to recycle the “Buffy fans…” quote, instead of the irresistible “FREE COUPON INSIDE!”

  23. A.R.Yngve Says:

    And what’s up with that fish everyone is talking about? I can’t see any fish on this cover… only a weird-looking balloon.

  24. Anna T. Says:

    @DSWBT: No, that’s entirely on the cover artist. And she doesn’t wear garish blue-and-orange coats either.

  25. HappyBookworm Says:

    Is that thing hanging from the upside-down fish a gondola? Far away? I thought at first it was a board. Do I want to know the answer to my questions?

  26. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Whereas the author’s name is trying to puncture the cover art, I think this merits a ‘font problems’ tag. Also, notice that the fish’s fins are breaking through the frame.

  27. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    And in other news, cichlid fishes have been found to communicate using their urine. Good night, and God bless.

  28. Tom Noir Says:

    Do fish blimps urinate upside down? Talk about golden showers…

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