Oct 16
Click for full imageHello there sir, could I stop you for a quick survey today? Excellent. Imagine that we gave you a cover that included terrible fonts, a man with a very chiseled chin in some sort of armour, holding his short bow. Then pump tons of strange glows and lens flare on places you’d not expect. On scale of one to ten, how likely are you going to take this on a bus with you? Sir? Come back! Sir?
(Average: 7.61 out of 10)
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October 16th, 2009 at 10:21 am
To be fair, Gemmell usually has way worse fonts on his covers.
I do love the arrow-less bow though! Anyone remember the old dungeons and dragons cartoon? Maybe he creates magic arrows. Hence the stupid lens flare on his hands.
October 16th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Gemmel seems to keep all his books in the same theme/font/layout etc.
I don’t think they look THAT bad in general, but ive seen worse ones of his ( and alot worse in general). I’ve even read one or two in public
On the plus side to his covers, they’ve all got fairly muted colours (apart from the gold font) and never has a billion things in the background. But the characters always look cheesey.
The lens flair makes this worse than it should be, its so over used as a “magic” effect. but we’ve definately seen ALOT worse use of it on a cover.
October 16th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Anyone who gets the word Humdinger on their cover gets my unending awe and respect everytime.
Plus I do so love David Gemmel; the king of angsty middle-age male fantasy, and I’m not even middle aged or male…not even a bit!
October 16th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Alright alright… No more Gemmel then 😛
Sheesh you can’t keep you guys happy! haha
Guess I’ll have to add a DG book to my reading collection at some stage. Although that guys hair must need a lot of grease to keep the ends like that!
October 16th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
I wouldn’t say Gemmel is amazing, i’ve only read a handful and never felt compelled to read more. The stories are good (not brilliant) but theres few better books for battles and good ole fashioned ass kicking.
… his hair is pretty strange looking… but i just noticed how incredibly similar he looks to a young Arnie (conan era)
October 16th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
Gemmell is really, really good at doing one particular story line and set of characters. His books are all basically as follows:
Middle aged man’s whole family, love of their life or similar are killed instigating a massive revenge spree in which he kicks lots of arse but is left troubled, broody and generally a bit upset about the world in general. He then somehow turns out by some quirk of fate to be the only one who, despite his flawed nature and general dislike of human kind, can save the world from some evil demon, king, army, whatever. Lots of kicking of evil arse ensues.
So that’s the plot of pretty much every book Gemmell ever wrote but as brain candy goes I think his books rank among the best.
He does have some pretty darn dodgy covers though, all broody long haired men with swords or bows looking a bit constipated.
October 16th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
I’m afraid I am a deep seated DG fan. Though I think I’ve got a previous edition to this book, which is worse than this.
For a woman, what could be better an emotionally unavailable, kick-arse hero?
Seriously, they are even better than vampires.
However, getting back to the cover at hand – it is dreadful isn’t it?
October 16th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Alrighty, the DG is definatly bullet proof then 😛
I am sure you will find though that a lot of these modern vampires are way too EMO. They are complete emotion losers.
I suggest that if you ever have to read any of the vampire love stories floating about simply image the main character as Christopher Lee. It makes the story so much better, I swear 😉
October 16th, 2009 at 9:03 pm
I’m loving the way that the flare from the tip of the arrowless bow’s arrow magically lights up Hunk’s chiselled facial features.
October 16th, 2009 at 9:04 pm
And that face…. it’s a combination of Conan-era Schwarzenegger and… who else?
October 16th, 2009 at 11:04 pm
Steven Seagal?
I also love the random gold… thing… going across the middle of the cover behind his head
October 17th, 2009 at 11:23 pm
You know those joke-shop arrows, axes or knives, made of plastic but with a semicircular section taken out of them so that you can fit them over the top of your head and it looks, for comic effect, as though your cranium has been penetrated by said arrow, axe or knife?
This Conanalike figure has got himself a golden scimitar one of those.
October 17th, 2009 at 11:25 pm
Also … man alive the hair. The hair the hair the hair.
October 19th, 2009 at 9:24 am
I know who he reminds me off. That big chin guy that is always, “Hey it’s that dude.” Probably most noted as the alien guy in the x-files with that little knife needle thing.
Picture here!
I need to get out more….
October 19th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
You’re right. He’s a dead-ringer. It was the hair that had us fooled.
Yes, you should get out more…it’s your turn to pick up the wine and crisps. Red this time. And not that cheap Lambrini shite either.
October 19th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Lambrini? What do you think I am cheap?
I’ll just get you a bottle of buckfast and I’ll pick up a 2ltr of White Diamond for myself.
October 19th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
You’re so classy.
Just don’t be sick on my plant pots.
October 20th, 2009 at 11:39 am
Plant pots? You mean those chamber pots? Uh Oh…..
November 12th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk is very informative. The article is very professionally written. I enjoy reading http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk every day.
[email address used: [email protected]]
November 20th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Damn right it is, mate.
November 20th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
Good Spam. Nice it apeals to my ego, and tells only the truth 😉
January 16th, 2014 at 1:29 am
Vaguely American Indian Double Chin Guy is very informative. The lens flare is very professionally rendered. I enjoy reading http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk every day…to the exclusion of all other activities…
January 16th, 2014 at 3:27 am
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June 3rd, 2015 at 7:22 pm
I imagine it is difficult to hunt buffalo while constipated.
June 4th, 2015 at 10:54 am
Echoes of a great cover.
@little mi: “Humdinger”, “masterly” and “verve”: It has to be a great book.
@Tom Noir: I would think it easier than with diarrhea.
June 8th, 2015 at 7:00 pm
‘A catawampus synecdoche…my prolapsed fibrillation janeanegarofaloed!’
–-Rave Reviews
January 22nd, 2020 at 9:23 am
“He drew the bowstring taut, and the enemy horde hesitated for a moment as he took aim with a magic arrow… then he cried out:
‘GET TO DA CHOPPAH!!!’ “
January 23rd, 2020 at 2:09 am
This guy is so Ah-nuld-esque that he really needs the “faux-nan” tag.
In the smaller image, I thought he was completely shirtless and wearing a bustier. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.