Dec 15

Monkeyshines!Click for full image

Raoul Comments: It’s like an Escher print with Dick Blade and the monkey both in front of each other.
Published 1979

You might remember this from here

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.76 out of 10)

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38 Responses to “Liberator of Jedd”

  1. Bibliomancer Says:

    Cheetah’s replaced Tarzan with a new sidekick.

  2. Teary Ennui Says:

    Jedd’s looking plenty liberated from here.

  3. Tom Noir Says:

    It’s that awkward moment when you both try to go through the door at once.

  4. THX 1138 Says:

    A definite conflict of interests over who is the cover star – someone’s not giving up quietly.

  5. JuanPaul Says:

    “Whoah, buddy, personal space!”

  6. Anna T. Says:

    Did they raid the Lurid Fantasy Cliché Cabinet? Okay, so the monkey in an inaccurately horned Viking helmet is new, but that young lady is going to get chafed horribly in that chainmail bikini she’s wearing.

    I must especially wonder, however, where Mr. Blade was forced to steal that miniskirt from. It suits him rather well.

  7. B. Chiclitz Says:

    That’s not much of a sword, I mean for a guy named “Blade” and all. I don’t think she’s particularly impressed. Neither is the baboon.

  8. fred Says:

    Mr. Blade has one hell of an overbite.

  9. Scott B Says:

    Adapted into a 1970s buddy-cop film “Helmet & Blade”. Together they fight crime!

  10. Tat Wood Says:

    Any Which Way but Loincloths

  11. Yoss Says:

    Put a couple of drinks in their hands instead of the swords and they could be happily singing a drinking song.

  12. GSS noob Says:

    ♬ Come and listen to my story ’bout a gal named Jedd… ♬

    (rest of song omitted to prevent earworm and also b/c I can’t be arsed to look up the lyrics of a sitcom I never cared for)

    I think the “L” in “BLADE” has given Dick’s sword an extreme circumcision. Swoop! No wonder he’s yelling.

    Chainmail bikinis IRL have suede backing to prevent getting links all up in your ladybits (which also means one can wear tiny string bikini undies).

    @Anna T: Perhaps he stole the miniskirt from the damsel, which would explain her state of distress. Maybe she’s yelling “Stop, thief! And baboon!”

    She was going to wear the miniskirt instead of or under the bikini, and the helmet… I dunno, part of her party costume or an heirloom or something… anyway, Dick and the ape (but I repeat myself) have stolen them.

  13. Bibliomancer Says:

    @Yoss – You mean these happy drunks?

  14. GSS noob Says:

    What’s really scary is that this is an improvement over the previous cover.

    @Bibliomancer: “You’ve liberated Jedd, now it’s Miller Time.”

  15. JuanPaul Says:

    @Bibliomancer No one could get drunk off those beers. I demand realism in my fantasy book covers!

  16. Yoss Says:

    Nice! It really is a fitting change. The original artist perfectly captured a mood, he just didn’t know which one he was capturing at the time.

    Though I suppose nobody ever really expects to perfectly capture the “getting liquored up and singing with a baboon viking” mood.

  17. Tat Wood Says:

    “Err, guys… still manacled to the wall here… guys, come back… GUYS!”

  18. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Bibliomancer—Wish I hadn’t been expected actually to get work done this afternoon or I’d’ve seen this a lot sooner. Brilliant! 😉 But, why discriminate against the damsel? Given the material she’s got to work with, surely she too deserves a snort, something suitable to her demure and ladylike demeanor?

  19. RachelJ Says:

    @GSS noob (#12). Well, we know Mr Blade doesn’t own any clothes himself, so you’re probably right.

  20. RachelJ Says:

    Testing, testing…

    Ah, this one got through. Previous is still “awaiting moderation”. Glitch?

  21. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Damsel: “Blade… wait! What about me??”
    Blade: “Sorry, Ma’am… I’ve found my date! Ta ta!”

  22. Francis Boyle Says:

    Come on, B. Chiclitz, anything over twelve inches would just be boasting.

  23. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Francis Boyle—but I tell you it’s huuuuugggge!!! 😉

  24. Tag Wizard Says:

    @RachelJ – The “Rule of Moderation” is, apparently, that if you put more than one link in one comment you are a guilty of spamming until proven innocent. I don’t know why. I just work here.

  25. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘Weee are the chammmmpions, my freh-hends…’

  26. Bibliomancer Says:

    @B.Chiclitz #18 – Oh no, she’s not partying. She’s yelling at Dick Blade: “Don’t get the monkey drunk again. He’ll start throwing shit at everyone!”

  27. GSS noob Says:

    Let ’em go, damsel. You can always get another miniskirt and party hat (and maybe they’re insured? or you could trade in the bikini?) but do you really want Dick Blade and a shit-throwing monkey around? I say nay.

    @RachelJ (19): maybe she can write off the miniskirt value as a donation to the less-fortunate. You know, the holidays, the homeless who don’t have clothes.

  28. classicOz Says:

    @yoss #11 could be the final song of the ‘ting’ cycle

  29. infoqueen Says:

    Artist: “For this price, I’m only painting their right arms. Left arms will cost you extra.”
    Art Director: “Nah, we’re good. Just right arms are fine.”

  30. GSS noob Says:

    A dexterous artist?

  31. HappyBookworm Says:

    @GSS noob – I also noticed the curtailed weapon. I can just imagine the woman yelling,
    “Richard, you doofus! You broke your sword on the title again! And if you ‘liberate’ the atmosphere from this colorful box into interstellar space, you’ll be sorry!!! Even the ape knows better….”

  32. GSS noob Says:

    @HappyBookworm: Maybe the atmosphere is leaking out, and they’re all screaming in horror at the depressurization.

  33. THX 1138 Says:

    Wait – wasn’t Jedd the bloke who threw off his mental chains in that Howard Jones video? There’s the twist: Jedd liberated himself! Aaah…

  34. pulpfiles Says:

    Hey everyone, I read this book! It wasn’t that good! Part 1 of my review here. Part 2 up by the end of the week. Pinky swear!

  35. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    pulpfiles pinky-swears!
    Question schedule? Who dares?! 😉

    As you yourself said, great prose begins in media res! So glad you’re GSS-ing.

  36. Raoul Says:

    Come and listen to my story ’bout a land named Jedd …

  37. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @pulpfiles, we eagerly await the thrilling conclusion to the next adventure of The Sentient Penis! (as s/he so perfectly dubbed D. Blade)

  38. pulpfiles Says:

    In case you haven’t seen it yet, Part 2 is up.

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