Feb 16

Hurry up, Dick, I want those alligator shoesClick for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Everybody’s naked, but the crocodile is the only one that looks like it is having fun here.

Published 1973

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.21 out of 10)

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23 Responses to “Monster of the Maze”

  1. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    You’d be smiling like that too if you were about to witness
    stab himself in the hand!

  2. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Look at the size of her head relative to her body…I’m betting she’s the real monster.

  3. DaveM Says:

    The ladies arms are fused together below the elbow giving her only one hand.
    Blade’s arms appear to be suffering from some terrible wasting disease (and Blade is not so much restraining the Croco-snake as caressing it).
    No wonder the Croco-snake is the only happy one!

    “Dick Blade” Really?

    “Heroic fantasy series”, yeah more like “Teenage power fantasy series”. Imagine if they’d published Narnia “Christian Allegory series”.

  4. JuanPaul Says:

    Dick looks like he’s been distracted by nakeder, more vulnerable woman out of frame.

  5. Francis Boyle Says:

    What makees you think it’s a woman. Judging by the almost complete lack of interest he shows in the nekid ladeez on these covers I suspect that our Dick’s main area of interest is [D|d]ick.

  6. B. Chiclitz Says:

    I think the alligator snake might be smiling because she is giving him a reptilian equivalent of a reach-around, maybe a “reach-under,” so as to immobilize him with other-dimensional pleasure as Dick brings down the Blade.

  7. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Now that I think on’t, what does “other-dimensional” mean, exactly?

  8. Tat Wood Says:

    Tonight, on Extreme Personal Grooming, how to use a crocodile as a depilator.

  9. fred Says:

    3Dish Blade is trying to break the fourth wall.

  10. THX 1138 Says:

    Remember what that croc did to Captain Hook, and he had his clothes on! It’s an accident waiting to happen!

  11. Bibliomancer Says:

    Dick doesn’t want to fight. Dick wants to party !

  12. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @B’mancer: hm, the alligator and Dick both have something in common. The alligator lives fucking close to water, Dick drinks fucking close to water! 😉

  13. Anna T. Says:

    The fantastic, other-dimensional adventures of BLADE strike again!

    Seriously, anyone want to venture a guess as to how many covers from this series have previously been on this site? Because as I recall it’s quite a few.

  14. Raoul Says:

    @Anna – Just click the “Richard Blade” tag to see them all.

  15. JuanPaul Says:

    “As Dick Blade raised his sword to deliver a death blow to the vicious beast, he paused. He was experiencing a strange sensation; a sensation he had never experienced before. Dick didn’t know it at the time, but he was having a thought.”

  16. Tat Wood Says:

    @Bibliomancer: the head of Dick already looks like a clumsy cut-and-paste, as if they just slapped on the one from that other edition of ‘Liberator of Jedd’ over a magazine ad for Old Spice.
    (Is it supposed to look like Patrick Allen in ‘When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth?’ It looks more like Alvin Stardust. That would explain the way he’s holding the knife).

  17. Tom Noir Says:

    Still my favorite Richard Blade cover.

  18. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Tom: same Bakelite hair.

  19. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The reptile is happy because it’s thinking “This chump doesn’t know how to hold anything! I’m gonna chomp his arm off! He-he!”

  20. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Dick has scored the perfect 10/10 here! We have a new champion!

    In this set of covers, the naked babe is always in the background while Dick’s in the foreground holding an animal. It makes one wonder… and then shudder and stop oneself from wondering. I guess sometimes he’s in the foreground with another dude, which is also why he’s ignoring the babes. Or sometimes an alien or bot.

    Maybe the “other-dimensional” adventures are the way he’s always popping out of the square frame. Even if you’re in the fourth dimension, or The 5th Dimension (age of Aquaaaaaaarius!), or the 8th Dimension (buckaroo), you’re still in a dimension.

  21. Anna T. Says:

    So, having taken @Raoul’s advice, and answering my own question, that would be ”seven”. Methinks this series is a pulpy treasure trove for this site, if anyone can find more.

  22. Tat Wood Says:

    Is his arm growing out of his ear?

  23. Emster Says:

    5 years later, Emster is checking out this cover thinking, “looks like his arm is growing out of his ear.” Scrolls down… confirmed! @Tat Wood says so!

    My own take on cover: Susan is excited to go for a picnic and swim at the lake with Dick. Unbeknownst to her, Dick and his buddies have set up a hilarious practical joke – while they swim, Sam steals their clothes, Biff sneaks up in a gator costume, Dick and Biff wrestle in a very realistic way, then Sam jumps out and yells “just joking! ha ha ha!” However, Susan immediately recognizes the gator costume from last summer’s “neighbourhood block party incident” and is not amused… she breaks up with Dick on the car ride home and next week will go out with nerdy Gerald from accounting, who plays D&D. Susan also likes D&D. The End.

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