Feb 21

As seen on QVC!Click to resize that ring

Charles Comments: Lord of the Tings!

Published 2000

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.95 out of 10)

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32 Responses to “The Spirit Ring”

  1. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Is that a monitor in the lower left hand corner of my monitor?

    Ha ha ha!

  2. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @DSWBT—(major groan) brilliant! 😉

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @BC: Thank you! The last time I stooped so low, someone shot me twice and took my tin of beans. 😉

  4. B. Chiclitz Says:

    If the ring lands around the monitor’s neck, the guys up on the hill get a free lunch in the Magick Castle Food Court ®.

    If they fail, they become lunch. They’ve been tossing for some time, and the clock is running down, hence the blurb.

  5. JuanPaul Says:

    So, if there is a ring with a ting, can we call it a tring?

  6. Bibliomancer Says:

    “[ I ] don’t miss this one!” — VOYA

    full quote

  7. THX 1138 Says:

    This trend for costume jewellery is getting out of hand – bling for Godzilla?

  8. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @THX: Tringblingzilla?

  9. fred Says:

    Finally a magic ring that is useful in everyday life. I’ll have a whisky.

  10. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @fred: Don’t miss this one! — Vodka

  11. Tat Wood Says:

    As not-Obi-Wan-at-all and his young padawan are staring at the monitor in disbelief, this must qualify for an almighty BEHIND YOU! tag.

  12. Tag Wizard Says:

    @Tat Wood – It’s more like OFF TO THE SIDE!

  13. Tat Wood Says:

    @Tag Wizard: I’m assuming that the trajectory takes it from the castle to the knoll. Nobody else in the picture could have chucked it. Perhaps the castle-dwellers and the lizard are playing quoits with the puny humans as the target-peg. (In which case VOYA might be a commentator, like Sid Waddell or Ted Lowe).

    It’s not in their field of vision, in any case.

  14. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Tat Wood—I think that the little guy could have frisbeed that ring over to the monitor, using a left-handed backward fling with a bit of english added to get just the right bend. With the stakes so high—lunch or be lunch—he’s giving it all he’s got. Not-Obi-Wan-at-all, on the other hand, seems pretty useless.

  15. Anna T. Says:

    I’ve got a different question: Why does the monitor lizard look like a starfield? Is that because it’s magic?

    Probably. Maybe that’s why those two are throwing the ring at it.

  16. Tat Wood Says:

    @B.Chiclitz: How big do we think this ring is? I’m seeing it as being about the size of a two-bedroom semi and (at the instant of the painted ‘photo’) approaching the two humans from slightly behind and to the right. Your account suggests something the size of a kid’s inflatable paddling-pool and travelling from the humans to the lizard. I was assuming that the glow behind them was part of the Ting.

    I’m also assuming that “a left-handed backward fling with a bit of english added” means a Doosra.

  17. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Impossible tasks” are a staple of traditional fairytales: Lift the world’s heaviest boulder, clean out the biggest stable in the world… wear the biggest ring in the world on your finger. Often with the aid of a Magical Helper…

    “By the Gods, I shall wear the Spirit Ring! Tailor, I want you to make me one hundred gloves. One shall be just large enough for my hand. The second glove shall be a bit larger, so that I can wear it over the first glove. The third glove shall be a bit larger still… and so on until the hundredth and largest glove.”

  18. JuanPaul Says:

    In all sincerity I do like the title font/design. Pretty solid.

  19. JuanPaul Says:

    The monitor reminds of the monsters from Pacific Rim. By the way, was anyone else cheering for the monsters in that movie?

  20. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Tat Wood—egad! It’s an optical illusion. I had seen it the way you thought I saw it until I saw it the way you see it. I still think the ring is headed for the monitor from the hill guys, but I do now see it can be seen differently.

    On this side of the big pond I think we’d call that a Scroogie.

  21. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Blinded by the ring
    Revved up like a wizard who’s just gotta get some “ting”
    Blinded by the ring
    They’ll never make it
    Through the night

  22. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @BC: then maybe they should take our friend fred’s advice and have a whisky.

    /me is afk, sideboard

  23. GSS ex-noob Says:

    At least the font is readable and not orange. Yay?

    I think Not-Obi could have tossed it left-handed, with enough spin. Like a curveball. Or maybe sidearm, with spin.

    The hardcover had an overly swirly/flouncy font, but just had the ring — no mystifying perspective of ring, lizard, people, castle. It wasn’t till I read the comments that I realized that was supposed to be the ring itself, I thought it was the spirit swooshing across the land and couldn’t figure out why Ting!

    The current cover design is a charming Italian Renaissance town (book is set in alternate thereof) with hills behind it, with modest, inoffensive lettering. It is, naturally, the author’s idea/choice, instead of BAEN!

  24. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:


  25. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @DSWBT: thanks for finishing my sentence, pal.

    Although I think as an alternative to *explosion* for this publisher’s name, it might be allowed to end with *RAARRR*.

    Since nothing is blowing up in this cover, it might be BAEN! *RAARRR*

    In the many cases of dinosaurs with guns, both are allowed.

    We would sometimes accept *ting*.
    Or *Inception noise* if all else fails.

    All of these noises are required to describe the covers with The Masterful Lord Himself.

    Like *Inception Noise* BAEN! *explosion* *RAARRR* *ting!*

  26. RachelJ Says:

    If you cover up the “Voya”, it becomes clear that “Don’t miss this one,” is a line of dialogue being spoken by one of the characters on the bluff to the other.

  27. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @RachelJ: as in, “The last piece of jewelry that came flying past here, you dropped and the lizard ate it — don’t miss this one”?

  28. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Heck, maybe one of the people there is named Voya!

  29. RachelJ Says:

    @GSS ex-noob. Of course, that explains everything!

  30. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    It seems that the ring is just an ordinary-sized ring, not anything gargantuan. I suppose I would have to read the book to discover Tringblingzilla’s story…

  31. GSS ex-noob Says:


    VOYA is short for Voice of Youth Advocates, who do a review magazine aimed at YA librarians.

    I’m sure the book is fine, though I’m not sure I’d let my child look at this cover without a discussion of perspective and other such rules of visual art. Wouldn’t want the young’un to think this is good artwork.

    @DS: that summary makes no mention at all of a giant lizard involved, or indeed any uncanny critters.

  32. THX 1138 Says:

    “Miss this one, don’t!” – YODA

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