When it comes time to write a blurb, or have a blurb written about the book, the publisher will either sell the book; or write something so long and convoluted that it makes no sense and takes up half the cover.
The only connection between the blurb and the rest of the cover is the aforementioned crab, if it’s supposed to represent Cancer (the constellation, not the disease).
@fred: now in 2017, when I’m running across this book for the first time, my friends and I can get stoned, and read passages from THE CLONES back cover out loud, it is so bad.
Let’s see here. You have a crab, a fish, a set of scales and mention of constellations. Cancer? Pisces? Libra? Is there some hidden astrology symbolism going on here? Who cares?
I have great suspicions this is the book that gave Michael Crichton the idea of writing speculative fiction based on cutting edge science. This book, 1968. The Andromeda Strain, 1969. The evidence seems irrefutable.
Do we have a “blurb problem” tag? Or something similar? If you tried to diagram that blurb, you’d end up with a Gordian knot. And don’t we have a “starkers” tag?
The back cover blurb is nearly as bad. Are the invaders from another constellation (yeah right) or another dimension? And, since they’re nekkid, is it the Dimension X that Dick Blade is always going to?
Both blurbs appear to have been written by someone for whom English isn’t a first language. Or a second one.
Also, the writer needs to be smacked repeatedly for using that pseudonym. If he’s dead, dig him up and smack his bones. Ditto the editor who allowed it.
I see a crab, a scorpion, and a set of scales — wanna bet there were 12 invaders or 12 groups of them? And who’s the clone — lady, dude, both, neither?
@AnnaT#9 I suppose it’s time we had the talk. You see, sometimes when a man and a woman grow very fond of each other, they take off all their clothes, put on some mood lighting, and pose for sci fi book covers. It’s part of nature.
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March 16th, 2017 at 1:17 pm
When it becomes time to publish, or to be published, the KERNING will either balance the cover; or ruin it beyond redemption.
March 16th, 2017 at 1:19 pm
Anatomy quiz: where does the femoral artery pass the acetabulum? Let’s learn how we can find out!
March 16th, 2017 at 2:10 pm
I think the CLONES need a less complicated cell phone plan.
March 16th, 2017 at 2:31 pm
When it comes time to write a blurb, or have a blurb written about the book, the publisher will either sell the book; or write something so long and convoluted that it makes no sense and takes up half the cover.
March 16th, 2017 at 2:55 pm
Is there such a thing as a “Pretentious, moi?” tag for the author’s name? Just a suggestion.
March 16th, 2017 at 3:03 pm
What’s wrong with that name?!?
March 16th, 2017 at 3:15 pm
Mr. Blurb Writer, could you please be a little more vague? I’m dangerously close to understanding half of what you write.
March 16th, 2017 at 3:16 pm
“P.T. Olemy”, A.K.A. Bart Fargo, also used the pseudonyms “A.R. Istoteles”, “P.L. Aton”… and “W. Anker”.
March 16th, 2017 at 3:19 pm
The only connection between the blurb and the rest of the cover is the aforementioned crab, if it’s supposed to represent Cancer (the constellation, not the disease).
I don’t know what’s up with the naked couple.
March 16th, 2017 at 3:31 pm
I just trying to wrap my head around how one can “inhabit” a “constellation.”
March 16th, 2017 at 4:24 pm
Back in 1986, when I ran across this book for the first time, my friends and I used to get stoned, and read passages from THE CLONES out loud, it was so bad.
March 16th, 2017 at 6:37 pm
The back cover. Everything is now perfectly clear.
https://img0.etsystatic.com/126/0/8770658/il_570xN.856197810_1ikw.jpg
March 16th, 2017 at 6:44 pm
@fred: now in 2017, when I’m running across this book for the first time, my friends and I can get stoned, and read passages from THE CLONES back cover out loud, it is so bad.
March 16th, 2017 at 7:04 pm
Your cloning process probably needs work when your clones can be identified by the fact they have only one nipple.
March 16th, 2017 at 7:07 pm
Let’s see here. You have a crab, a fish, a set of scales and mention of constellations. Cancer? Pisces? Libra? Is there some hidden astrology symbolism going on here? Who cares?
March 16th, 2017 at 8:00 pm
I have great suspicions this is the book that gave Michael Crichton the idea of writing speculative fiction based on cutting edge science. This book, 1968. The Andromeda Strain, 1969. The evidence seems irrefutable.
March 16th, 2017 at 11:38 pm
Send in the clones!
March 17th, 2017 at 3:00 am
Do we have a “blurb problem” tag? Or something similar? If you tried to diagram that blurb, you’d end up with a Gordian knot. And don’t we have a “starkers” tag?
The back cover blurb is nearly as bad. Are the invaders from another constellation (yeah right) or another dimension? And, since they’re nekkid, is it the Dimension X that Dick Blade is always going to?
Both blurbs appear to have been written by someone for whom English isn’t a first language. Or a second one.
Also, the writer needs to be smacked repeatedly for using that pseudonym. If he’s dead, dig him up and smack his bones. Ditto the editor who allowed it.
I see a crab, a scorpion, and a set of scales — wanna bet there were 12 invaders or 12 groups of them? And who’s the clone — lady, dude, both, neither?
This hurts my head more than most books on GSS.
Bah.
March 18th, 2017 at 10:10 pm
@gssxn it can’t be the Dick Blade dimension because the man is vulnerable and the woman is confidently standing up right.
March 19th, 2017 at 2:08 am
@JuanPaul: fair point.
July 16th, 2017 at 3:41 pm
@GSS ex-noob. We *need* a “blurb problem” tag. Said so before.
I feel like this particulat blurb probably continues, “Well, that’s my theory, anyway. Anyone around here actually read this thing?”
August 11th, 2017 at 4:57 am
@AnnaT#9 I suppose it’s time we had the talk. You see, sometimes when a man and a woman grow very fond of each other, they take off all their clothes, put on some mood lighting, and pose for sci fi book covers. It’s part of nature.