Jun 01

I never Metaconcert I didn't likeClick for full image

William Comments: Here is the church … here is the steeple … open the doors … see the Village People!

Published 1989

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.50 out of 10)

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31 Responses to “The Metaconcert”

  1. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    My eyes went straight to ‘Intervention’ and then a group of people gathered together…what could this mean???

  2. JuanPaul Says:

    “please, get us the f**k off this planet!”

  3. fred Says:

    A much better cover for Dianetics than that tired old volcano.

  4. THX 1138 Says:

    “Now we’ve found the keys to the Mir, we can start it up and drive that baby to the stars!”

  5. Tom Noir Says:

    “AND YOU SHALL CALL YOURSELF,” boomed the voice of God, “THE VILLAGE PEOPLE.”

  6. B. Chiclitz Says:

    “Welcome, welcome, to Swinger’s Planet. Hope everybody’s up for a night of naughty fun! Here’s how it works. Gentlemen, toss your keys into the large, moon-shaped punchbowl. Later on ladies, you will each pick a set of keys randomly and pair up with the owner of the keys you picked. Then we will all head over to JuanPaul’s nerd pool party on the space station for some hot cosplay sex!”

  7. SI Says:

    “And here we see the god… using earth as his keyring to mark out his bikeshed key.”

  8. Tat Wood Says:

    When I listened to ‘Great Gig in the Sky’ by Pink Floyd this wasn’t the image I had in mind.

  9. fred Says:

    It’s not a remake of The Magnificent Seven, it’s a remake of Battle Beyond The Stars which was a remake of The Magnificent Seven which was a remake of Seven Samurai.

  10. JuanPaul Says:

    @bc and everyone please register your costume. We don’t want to end up with 5 Sailor Moons like last time.

  11. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @JuanPaul: In my defence, no-one else was in costume as three Sailor Moons.

    This time, I’ll come as ‘guy with a tiny little cut-out of the Moon and Skylab balanced on his fingertips’.

  12. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @JP—I do want to stay with the nautical theme, however, so maybe I’ll register as this legendary character of Zap! comix fame.

  13. Anna T. Says:

    So, who is the owner of the giant hands the party of people in various forms of cultural dress are watching pray with their housekeys while balancing the Moon on their fingertips?

    And what does any of this have to do with a “Metaconcert”? I don’t see a stage, microphones or instruments, let alone an audience.

  14. Tat Wood Says:

    @Anna T.: it’s ‘meta’ because they just sent their phones and stayed at home to watch.

  15. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Needs a new tag: “WTF to the Power of 10.”

  16. THX 1138 Says:

    I think it’s a typo of Metal Concert. Sick riffs aplenty.

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I uh…

    I got nothin’ that hasn’t already been said. WTFery abounds.

  18. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Oh, here’s a fun outfit for the nerd pool party, ENTIRELY in keeping with the spirit of GSS.

  19. Yoss Says:

    I wonder how intentional it is that the elements combine to suggest a human figure with the moon as the head? There’s the space station as outstretched arms, the hands form the body, the key becomes a ……

    You know, maybe I’ve seen too many sexbots this week.

  20. Tom Noir Says:

    @Yoss: #firstworldproblems

  21. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @GSS Socialite: I rather imagined something along the lines of the pool party from Mystery Men, but with less auditioning and more literature.

  22. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Sorry I’m late to the editorial meeting… but I just had this incredible epiphany! Down at the corner shop, they sell products… where the package tells you what’s inside! In a manner that ordinary people can understand! What if… hear me out… what if we started making our book covers that way?”
    “Well, I never!”
    “Perish the thought!”

  23. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Leftie: ‘I rather liked the volcano.’

  24. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    @Yoss I know you made that comment as a jest…but I think you may actually be on to something…

    With that said “…ok, who thinks they can take the keys out my hands?”

  25. Yoss Says:

    I think maybe the lady front and center is asking for a bigger key.

  26. iMark Says:

    OK, so the key is on a key fob called the great green carbuncle, given to Uncle Rogi by the Lylmik. It’s a sort of mental focussing device. His nephew, Dennis, on top of Mount Washington, is using it to bring together the whole Earth in a telepathic metaconcert to persuade the galactic milieu to rescue the Earth from the almighty mess it is in. Meanwhile, cousin Victor is leading a band of redneck idiots to attack the mountaintop chalet and prevent this from happening, by making the telepathic ‘heads’ forego their vow of peace.

    Hmmm. Guess it doesn’t make much more sense, even when you know what it’s about. Awesome book though, regardless of the crappy cover.

  27. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @DSWBT: While we would resemble that scene more, I’m thinking that swimsuit I linked to must have been on some bad sci-fi cover at some point. Possibly here, even. Asymmetrical, “futuristic”, pointless, more cloth in the sleeve than the bikini. I think it’d look swell on Mercedes Lackey’s next cover.

    I was halfway through iMark’s comment before I realized he was serious.

  28. GSS ex-noob Says:

    In my further defense, I submit that the bikini I linked in #18 is the swimwear in the same clothing line as the formal wear in

  29. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @GSS Fashonista: I finally took the liberty of investigating that swim suit. It’s bloody £263! I’m not trying to be a contrarian, my dear, but I do believe your typical graduate of Unknown Artist Institute could hardly afford to LOOK at a swim suit so pricey, never you mind paint a picture of one!

    As for the second cover, well, anything’s possible when you can’t see what’s going on. 😀

  30. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @DSWBT—So you think we can’t paint one, eh? Well, we at the Unknown Artist Institute are nothing if not intrepid. Lacking the funds to buy a ham-sheltering bikini, we have decided to use what we have at our disposal and head for the body paint! Perfect for the nerd pool party at JP’s.

    We haven’t quite figured out the ham thing yet, however.

  31. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @DS: Yes, but the graduate of Unknown Artist Institute undoubtedly has a pal who’s a graduate of Unknown Fashionista Institute (doubtless adjoining campuses, perhaps even divisions of the same school) who could look at a photo and come up with something that hideous. Possibly even more so.

    For all we know, that swimwear was designed at UFI and someone else is charging 200+ after spending what they found in the sofa cushions (plus cost of a ham) to commission it.

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