Nov 02

... and Two Tickets to Paradise!Click for larger image

Tag Wizard Comments: Skulls a-Poppin’, Jazz Hands, Eye-yi-yi, BEHIND YOU! … keep spinning that tag wheel Mr Morrow. Every one’s a winner!

Published 1972

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.28 out of 10)

Tagged with:

26 Responses to “Seven Tickets to Hell”

  1. Bibliomancer Says:

    Maxwell Smart and Agent 99?

  2. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Of course, all books in the “Frankenstein Horror” series were ghostwritten.
    Any attempt to make The Frankenstein Monster write or dictate a narrative led to outbursts like: “NRRRHH! Books BAD!!”

  3. THX 1138 Says:

    Was the sequel about Montezuma’s Revenge?

  4. fred Says:

    Who stole the other eye? Mike Hammer is on the case.
    This series has got worthy covers, worthy titles, worthy plots.

  5. A.R.Yngve Says:

    They tried to take a trip to France after the Brexit. Little did they know they had bought..

    (I know — it’s too soon, and I apologize to all Brits who didn’t vote for Brexit, and you have my deepest sympathy. But if we can’t joke about painful subjects, what’s the point of comedy?)

  6. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Photobombing circa 1972

  7. JuanPaul Says:

    Those two people appear to really hate that cover blurb.

  8. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @JP—They should have used that legendary old National Lampoon cover idea. “If you don’t buy this book, we’ll kill this blurb.”

  9. Lillie Awesome Says:

    @JuanPaul – I was thinking that no matter the otherwordly peril we’re seeing on the cover, whatever’s out of frame must be even more terrifying, but I like your take better.

    “Frankenstein Horror Series,” eh? So am I to assume that this book is assembled from patchwork pieces of deceased pulp novels and reanimated into an undead monstrosity far worse than its creator’s hubris let him imagine? Because that’s precisely what I’m going to assume.

  10. Tom Noir Says:

    Why just one floating eye?!? There is natural space for two.

    This really bugs me. I shall write the editors.

  11. B. Chiclitz Says:

    “No, I’m not conjuring up the spirit of Lord Kum Rath, or Lord Kum Quat or anything—it’s just that if I move my arms my modesty hair fails big time.”

  12. Bibliomancer Says:

    @Lillie Awesome – Let’s not confuse the monster for the name of the doctor. The Frankenstein is the editor at Popular Library, not the lousy book we have to look at.

  13. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @BM, Lillie: “It’s pronounced FRAHNK-un-STEEN.”

    Ta for the setup, btw.

  14. Lillie Awesome Says:

    @Bibliomancer — You’re correct, of course, although I somehow doubt the good people at Popular Library parsed that distinction so finely. I feel pretty comfortable deferring to modern popular usage on this one.

  15. B. Chiclitz Says:

    As is so often the case, the Frankenstein Horror Series pales in comparison to the Frankenstein Comedy Series.

  16. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    OMG, is that Harlan Ellison in magenta? RUN, good lady, get yourself somewhere safe!

  17. Anna T. Says:

    So, action hero/detective from the mid-20th century and his Girl Friday versus the mostly-naked blue priestess with convenient nipple-obscuring hair of a one-eyed necromancer god?

    If I were Our Heroes, I’d have to ask: why is the god one-eyed? It’s not Odin, is it? Unless he’s moved to the Americas . . .

  18. Tat Wood Says:

    Twas Brillig and the spies with Colts
    Did fire at the Priestess in the Grave
    All flimsy was the Muerte cult
    And the Kum Rath outgrabe…

  19. Tor Mented Says:

    I just want to say that Kum Rath sounds like revenge sex.

  20. Tor Mented Says:

    @Tat: Beat me to the Jabberwocky reference by half an hour.

  21. Tat Wood Says:

    @A.R.Yngve (5): it’s like Trump’s Mexican Wall – the more problems, the longer it takes to not happen, the more tempting it will be for the people supposed to be doing it to blame Fancy Bear for rigging the polls.

    @Anna T. La Paz is to the north of Kathmandu, isn’t it?

  22. JuanPaul Says:

    @dswbt Trolling Harlan Ellison? Talk about a ticket to hell!

  23. GSS ex-noob Says:

    My first thought: AAAAAHHH!
    My first coherent thought: It’s the 70’s.

    I don’t know what that font’s called, but it was used all the time on 70’s SF.

    Do the pink jazz hands belong to the lord of the living dead? Then who’s the belly dancer? Why is a Mideastern dancer guarding Mexican treasure?

    @B’mancer (1) Would you believe? Yes, I do. You’ve got it right.

    @fred (4): Good link, sir!

    @JuanPaul (7): Yes, they’re ignoring belly dancer, jazz hands, eyeball, and the undead to glare at and take aim at the blurb.

    @TW: yet the tags do not contain BEHIND YOU!

    This link reviews all of the series, and pans this particular one. It’s written entirely in second person.

  24. Tat Wood Says:

    @GSSxN: It’s the font from Hawaii Five-0, isn’t it?

  25. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tat: No, this one is much blockier/angular and way more drop shadowed.

    But I’m sure I’ve got this one on a few books from the 70’s. I think more hard-SF than this.

  26. L.B. Says:

    I started out with two tickets to Paradise. A floaty eyeball convinced me that seven was better than two. Worst trade ever.

Leave a Reply