What? This is not written by Arthur C. Clarke? And it’s not a novel called Venus Prime? And the sexy model is not over 18? There are some serious misrepresentations going on here.
Just noticed that that diamond moon, and those other globes, are flanked by not one but two copies of Orson Scott Card. Something suspicious going on here, Bibliomancer . . . .
@B. Chiclitz – Just got back from Seattle where they still have lots of used bookstores (mostly with coffee bars attached). I sent a bunch of fine covers in to GSS last week.
Obviously this one is photoshopped. Hah. For some reason there were like ten copies of this OSC gem on the shelf where I propped it.
@Anna T. – At the Unknown Artist Institute they teach you how to pose the model to get the boobs and butt in the same shot. Even at the risk of spine damage.
Part of being an artist is knowing when to break the rules. I’m not confident that this was the proper time to break the “human faces go on the front of the head” rule.
I’m tempted to read the title top to bottom, but all I get is Vice President Erni Umsev.
Also, does anyone else see a laughing purple stormtrooper with a woman-child for a tongue?
She’s young for the Sir Mix tag — OTOH it might just be some sort of fluid buildup from her broken spine, which explains her distressed expression.
Must have been snapped when Moore snatched her from the mall and shoved her into a too-small carrying case. Possibly a bubble gum, capsule toy, or other vending machine, or one of those claw machines that children sometimes get stuck in at the arcade.
(I was a mall rat at the time Moore was stalking — luckily our mall security was more proactive and banned the pervs after the first offense.)
@THX: Yes, you should have used the emoji. If your device did not allow it, calling it an eggplant would have preserved the correct number of syllables.
@BC: I, too, wondered WTF is up with the surrounding CarD. Wiki tells me it’s in the series involving Alvin, who we here at GSS all remember for his “golden plough” aka giant glowing 🍆
Original cover of that book shows a starkers boy. Hmmmm.
And we all know that this is NOT the sort of thing Sir Arthur would have approved of, being attracted to t’other sort.
This pose becomes a lot less uncomfortable-looking if we assume that her arms are growing out of her neck. (Assuming that having arms growing out of your neck isn’t uncomfortable).
@Hammy, Tat: Maybe we’ve been interpreting this all wrong. Maybe it’s some being with four front lumps, two back ones, no legs, and arms growing out of its neck/torso, which is wearing a mask of a little girl’s head.
Dressing up as a scary tiny human for Space Halloween or something, like little Earth kids put on alien masks.
Explains everything! Solves the anatomical issues!
@Hammy: p’raps she couldn’t get the back lumps around to the front, and had to go as a human.
Cat-person IS the best Space Halloween costume, of course, unless you’re already a cat-person from space, in which case I guess you dress up as a lizard person?
“Will you tell me exactly what happened, sir.”
“I picked up the explosive new series ‘Venus Prime,’ as a present to Uncle Roy… then the books brushed against a hot spotlight, and BLAM! went the entire book shelf!”
“I see. The bookstore manager should have known better than to stack so many explosive books next to each other.”
Oh dear, Tiffany, you missed the joke here. See, the girl looks very under age which is a Roy Moore thing. If this was a White House intern in a space ship your comment might have been funnier.
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November 20th, 2017 at 10:44 am
Yeah, keep your “explosions” to yourself, thanks.
November 20th, 2017 at 1:12 pm
A story about a tiny blonde trapped inside a space helmet? I’m in!
November 20th, 2017 at 1:23 pm
‘Twas on the spaceship Venus
Good grief, I think she’s seen us
I have no time
For the obvious rhyme
But it is shaped like an aubergine.
November 20th, 2017 at 1:42 pm
What? This is not written by Arthur C. Clarke? And it’s not a novel called Venus Prime? And the sexy model is not over 18? There are some serious misrepresentations going on here.
November 20th, 2017 at 2:53 pm
Venus Prime Italian style. She looks out of Roy Moore territory.
https://i.pinimg.com/474x/e5/43/03/e54303ae81a3b92cbb582f3c15efa7f7–strain-venus.jpg
November 20th, 2017 at 3:06 pm
This is what happens when you feed your kid GMOs.
November 20th, 2017 at 3:19 pm
Well, Bibliomancer stole my Roy Moore joke (Bravo, Sir!). So all I can say is, yeah, that moon looks like a diamond all right!
November 20th, 2017 at 3:22 pm
She looks like she’s broken her spine.
November 20th, 2017 at 3:26 pm
A R T H U R C C L A R K E
(is in no way involved with this book)
November 20th, 2017 at 3:31 pm
Just noticed that that diamond moon, and those other globes, are flanked by not one but two copies of Orson Scott Card. Something suspicious going on here, Bibliomancer . . . .
November 20th, 2017 at 3:36 pm
@B. Chiclitz – Just got back from Seattle where they still have lots of used bookstores (mostly with coffee bars attached). I sent a bunch of fine covers in to GSS last week.
Obviously this one is photoshopped. Hah. For some reason there were like ten copies of this OSC gem on the shelf where I propped it.
November 20th, 2017 at 3:37 pm
@Anna T. – At the Unknown Artist Institute they teach you how to pose the model to get the boobs and butt in the same shot. Even at the risk of spine damage.
November 20th, 2017 at 3:43 pm
@Bibliomancer—well I guess a gem belongs next to a diamond moon.
November 20th, 2017 at 3:43 pm
Yes, she is quite well endowed, isn’t she? Butr the face doesn’t seem to match the endowment–she looks to be about 5 years old, facewise.
November 20th, 2017 at 3:51 pm
@THX1138 – Did you know you can avoid rhyme-fails and just post emojis now? 🍆
November 20th, 2017 at 3:56 pm
@Biblio #15: I was thinking I should have said “aubergine-us”, but that would be good too!
November 20th, 2017 at 4:12 pm
@THX, Biblio—Would this have been an improvement or a catastrophe?
‘Twas on the spaceship Venus
Good grief, I think she’s seen us
I have no time
For the obvious rhyme
‘Cuz I’m thinking instead of my penus.
November 20th, 2017 at 4:28 pm
@B. Chiclitz, here, hold my beer:
Arthur C. Clarke had a trick
He hired a writer sidekick
Too bad that his choice,
Was some guy named Paul Preuss
Who is hardly a Philip K. 🍆
November 20th, 2017 at 4:43 pm
From Hot Gossip’s less-well-known routine ‘I Lost My Lumbar Vertebrae to a Starship Trooper’
November 20th, 2017 at 4:58 pm
Vol 1. Explosive series indeed.
http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/vp_vol_1_2645.jpg
November 20th, 2017 at 5:07 pm
I guess Bibliomancer wins the Palm Job D’Or. I tried to help but botched it. I was never good at subtlety.
November 20th, 2017 at 5:31 pm
If Humbert Humbert wrote sci-fi.
November 20th, 2017 at 6:49 pm
Part of being an artist is knowing when to break the rules. I’m not confident that this was the proper time to break the “human faces go on the front of the head” rule.
November 20th, 2017 at 9:07 pm
Ow ow ow… that’s some serious “Escher Girl“-worthy spine breakage…
November 20th, 2017 at 10:48 pm
I’m tempted to read the title top to bottom, but all I get is Vice President Erni Umsev.
Also, does anyone else see a laughing purple stormtrooper with a woman-child for a tongue?
November 21st, 2017 at 12:51 am
She’s young for the Sir Mix tag — OTOH it might just be some sort of fluid buildup from her broken spine, which explains her distressed expression.
Must have been snapped when Moore snatched her from the mall and shoved her into a too-small carrying case. Possibly a bubble gum, capsule toy, or other vending machine, or one of those claw machines that children sometimes get stuck in at the arcade.
(I was a mall rat at the time Moore was stalking — luckily our mall security was more proactive and banned the pervs after the first offense.)
@THX: Yes, you should have used the emoji. If your device did not allow it, calling it an eggplant would have preserved the correct number of syllables.
@BC: I, too, wondered WTF is up with the surrounding CarD. Wiki tells me it’s in the series involving Alvin, who we here at GSS all remember for his “golden plough” aka giant glowing 🍆
Original cover of that book shows a starkers boy. Hmmmm.
And we all know that this is NOT the sort of thing Sir Arthur would have approved of, being attracted to t’other sort.
November 21st, 2017 at 3:33 am
@Anna T. –
She has, it seems, but it looks to me that her lower pair of breasts are forcing her spine into that curve.
That isn’t a second set of breasts below the obvious ones? Never mind….
November 21st, 2017 at 4:46 am
Think how much even greater this cover would be if only she were holding the lollipop gun.
November 21st, 2017 at 5:10 am
This pose becomes a lot less uncomfortable-looking if we assume that her arms are growing out of her neck. (Assuming that having arms growing out of your neck isn’t uncomfortable).
November 21st, 2017 at 7:35 am
@Hammy, Tat: Maybe we’ve been interpreting this all wrong. Maybe it’s some being with four front lumps, two back ones, no legs, and arms growing out of its neck/torso, which is wearing a mask of a little girl’s head.
Dressing up as a scary tiny human for Space Halloween or something, like little Earth kids put on alien masks.
Explains everything! Solves the anatomical issues!
November 21st, 2017 at 7:24 pm
@GSSXN(#30) –
Just two more lumps in front, and space-kid could have dressed up as a cat-person for Space Halloween. Missed opportunity, I say….
November 21st, 2017 at 11:54 pm
@Hammy: p’raps she couldn’t get the back lumps around to the front, and had to go as a human.
Cat-person IS the best Space Halloween costume, of course, unless you’re already a cat-person from space, in which case I guess you dress up as a lizard person?
November 23rd, 2017 at 3:16 am
“Will you tell me exactly what happened, sir.”
“I picked up the explosive new series ‘Venus Prime,’ as a present to Uncle Roy… then the books brushed against a hot spotlight, and BLAM! went the entire book shelf!”
“I see. The bookstore manager should have known better than to stack so many explosive books next to each other.”
November 27th, 2017 at 1:28 am
You misspelt Bill Clinton…
November 27th, 2017 at 3:50 am
Oh dear, Tiffany, you missed the joke here. See, the girl looks very under age which is a Roy Moore thing. If this was a White House intern in a space ship your comment might have been funnier.