Nov 21

Dino-mite BeachClick for larger dinosaur

The big hand's on the ten and the dead hand's on the twelveClick for larger image

It’s a Two-fer Tuesday – Dinosaur Beach Party!

Good Show Sir Comments:

#1 “Don’t worry Keith, I’m your agent, and Scribner’s is a quality publisher. They assured me they will hire the finest cover artist for the hardcover first edition”.

#2 In other words, Laumer is a class act.

Published 1971, 1972

You might remember this from here and here.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.73 out of 10)

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23 Responses to “Dinosaur Beach”

  1. StevenLP Says:

    Of course Dickson does not specify the relation of the class this book is in to the other classes of books: it could be below them, above them or in the middle somewhere. So it sounds good, but means absolutely nothing. As such, this blurb is a classic (and I suspect, the best bit of writing in the book).

    Actually the cover of the DAW edition is pretty good too (in a cluttered, garish way): going by my experience of Laumer’s writing, tearing off the front cover and throwing the rest of the book away would mean you’re retaining the only memorable part.

  2. THX 1138 Says:

    1: I didn’t know dinosaurs could play cricket.

    2: The new Doctor Who opening titles need more work.

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Cover #2 needs a “starkers” tag for the couple at right.

  4. Francis Boyle Says:

    And the award for the goofiest dinosaur on a sci-fi or fantasy book cover goes to. . .

  5. fred Says:

    1) Military uniform I think, which can only mean one thing, More hi-jinks with Donald O’Connor and Francis The Talking T-Rex. Looks like they are in Hawaii in this one.
    2) “Classy….”, in my best smarmy Phil Hartman impersonation.

  6. Bibliomancer Says:

    1. Oh no. The dino-mite escaped from the Escher Museum.

    2. The orgy was completely bonkers until the lawyer showed up.

  7. JuanPaul Says:

    @fred high marks for dropping a Donald O’Connor reference ๐Ÿ˜€

  8. B. Chiclitz Says:

    1. Should have the blurb from # 2โ€”the guy is definitely out standing in his field and in a class by himself.

    2. I think we need a “torso issues” tag.

  9. fred Says:

    @ 7 Juan Paul – I forgot Chill Wills.

    2) The pendulum needs an eye. A classy kind of eye.

  10. JuanPaul Says:

    1) Dino-mite struggles to understand modern architecture.

    2) This always happens to me on the beach too: I find a nice spot with no one around, then a gaggle of idiots arrives and sets up right next to me.

  11. Tat Wood Says:

    1. Out-take from ‘Yellow Submarine’ – Lucy in the Sky with Dinosaurs
    2.Steed and Mrs Peel in a Lovecraft crossover – The Avengers who Came to Sarnath

  12. Tor Mented Says:

    The phone rings, it’s the artist from DAW.
    He says, “I am not sure of what I should draw.
    “What can I put on the cover of this one?”
    I said “Girls, iguanas, Dickson.
    “Oh yeah, girls, iguanas, Dickson.”

  13. Lillie Awesome Says:

    Call me a purist, but I’m just not seeing my expected levels of beach references in either cover. And both New-Wave Dominatrix and Microcephalic Magritte Painting Refugee in #2 are going to collapse from heat exhaustion if they try spending any time whatsoever in the sun wearing those getups, which is maybe what the rest of the scene is foreshadowing?

  14. Tor Mented Says:

    1. Behind the cover, Marge Simpson is having a bad hair day.

  15. Hammy Says:

    Din-din-dinosaur beach!
    Din-din-dinosaur beach!
    We can hitch a ride to Dinosaur Beach!

    (apologies to The Ramones)

  16. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Lillie Aโ€”
    Ce n’est pas un livre.

  17. Lillie Awesome Says:

    @Hammie – I’ve been humming that exact thing to myself since I checked in here!

    @ B. Chichlitz – Indeed.

  18. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Did this book EVER get a decent cover? * Or a different quote?

    1. Attributed to Unknown Artist, I see. Possibly b/c there was no artist involved, the editor just gave his kid a pile of clip art and some rubber cement. I’m thinking that was the SFBC cover also if there was one; they liked that font in those days.

    2. I like Kelly Freas as much as the next fan, but I’m afraid I gotta give him a WTF for that one. Probably looked great on the large scale canvas, but not so good as a paperback cover and a JPG.

    And yes, there are two “starkers” people on the right. (Reminds me of the time at a con when I sold Kelly some pics of Bettie Page… he had an eye for the ladies!)

    At least Gord’s famous blurb doesn’t have the extra comma in it here — makes it only 100% “bwuh?” instead of 150% “bwuh?” Although this cover was so cluttered to begin with, methinks it would have been better sans GordBlurb.

    But WHAT are the elongated blue-white vertical… things?

    HOWEVER, I must say, every time this book appears, it does bring out the best in GSS’ers. Extra wittiness abounds. Kudos to fred (5), B’man (6), BC (8), Tat (11-2, bravo!), Tor (12), Lillie (13).

    Cover #1 here is pretty bland, but less horrific than most of the covers this book got. Yay? And I agree with @BC(8): here’s the cover that needs the quote.

    @Tat (11): Laumer also wrote 3 “Avengers” tie-in books.

    *Answer: no. I’ve been to ISFDB. The Dutch and French translations have a spaceship and no dinosaur. The German one is the Freas, in mirror image. The two different BAEN!rawr covers under two different titles are, well… DAW later cropped and rearranged the Freas, cutting GordBlurb down to “Unrivaled”… (yes, with that punctuation)

    See here.

    No wonder Keith had a massive stroke.

  19. L.B. Says:

    That first cover reminds me of ‘Dinosaur Comics’. I wondered where T-Rex and his buddies went when on vacation!

  20. Anna T. Says:

    1. Elementary school student’s MS Paint art project.

    2. Trippy weird stuff, featuring random naked people.

    The first cover does, however, have the distinct advantage of featuring both a dinosaur and a beach, whereas the second cover has neither.

  21. Tor Mented Says:

    1. The dinosaur might be goofy, but at least it has an awesome blond Mohawk.

  22. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Anna T: The dark curvy bit in the middle might be the head of a dinosaur, perhaps with the two nekkid people sliding down its neck (ow ow scales).
    But GordBlurb has covered so much of it, who knows?

  23. A.R.Yngve Says:

    #1: Terry Gilliam’s only known SF book cover.

    #2: Sometimes the “Just Add More Stuff” approach crosses the border into the Sublime, then crashes through the plate-glass window of Good Taste and drops screaming into the Land That Salvador Dali Forgot.

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